Okay, so I haven't really had a chance to share this with anyone, and I really feel a pull to post my story here. I know its long, but please bear with me.
I used to be a Christian, and through thick and thin, my mother always tried to make sure that, even as a very young child, I would focus on God and not worry about the bad things happening in my life. Despite this, the things around me got to me and when I was 7, I started feeling severely depressed. When I was 11, I decided to accept Jesus, and I lived like that for awhile.
Then, around the age of 14 I drifted just about as far away from God as I could. I became a self injurer, I was extremely depressed, and I was so attracted to darkness that I was constantly indulging on everything evil and Satanic. I was a drinking a lot, and
I became very sexual and disrespecting of myself. I worried a lot of people, because I was very young, and I had always been such a good girl, and as I progressed into high school, things only got worse and worse.
A couple months ago, I was so low that I decided to kill myself, and fortunately someone stopped me. I went to a youth group with my friend, and I was taken to a youth rally with them. I had two days of feeling bitter and resentful as I watched others worshiping and I imagined that God didn't care enough for me to be with me. One of my friends noticed I was down and came over to hug me, and I ended up sobbing on her shoulder. Next thing I knew, a youth leader was with me, praying, and it was the most intense, emotional experience of my life. She met with me for several weeks after and I shared with her and a few other girls my story, and the helped me to get on the right track.
Currently, however, I am facing an ultimate low like I've never experienced before, and I know the devil is laughing as he pulls me further and further away, destroying everything I'm fixing up. Please pray for me, I want to do it right this time. I don't want to let God down again.
I used to be a Christian, and through thick and thin, my mother always tried to make sure that, even as a very young child, I would focus on God and not worry about the bad things happening in my life. Despite this, the things around me got to me and when I was 7, I started feeling severely depressed. When I was 11, I decided to accept Jesus, and I lived like that for awhile.
Then, around the age of 14 I drifted just about as far away from God as I could. I became a self injurer, I was extremely depressed, and I was so attracted to darkness that I was constantly indulging on everything evil and Satanic. I was a drinking a lot, and
I became very sexual and disrespecting of myself. I worried a lot of people, because I was very young, and I had always been such a good girl, and as I progressed into high school, things only got worse and worse.
A couple months ago, I was so low that I decided to kill myself, and fortunately someone stopped me. I went to a youth group with my friend, and I was taken to a youth rally with them. I had two days of feeling bitter and resentful as I watched others worshiping and I imagined that God didn't care enough for me to be with me. One of my friends noticed I was down and came over to hug me, and I ended up sobbing on her shoulder. Next thing I knew, a youth leader was with me, praying, and it was the most intense, emotional experience of my life. She met with me for several weeks after and I shared with her and a few other girls my story, and the helped me to get on the right track.
Currently, however, I am facing an ultimate low like I've never experienced before, and I know the devil is laughing as he pulls me further and further away, destroying everything I'm fixing up. Please pray for me, I want to do it right this time. I don't want to let God down again.

God bless you for sharing your heart. For God putting this burden there for you to just open up to others. So, really the devil isn't laughing at you! You've got the laugh on him, because you've turned to your brothers and sisters in Christ and he cannot stand that..
