I have no lust...

[Windmill]

EDIT: Sorry about the title- and please ignore what this previous thread was about >_< Just read on;

Me and my BF come from different denominations, and I'm coping a lot of hate for this. Anyone else gone through this?

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

What denominations are you guys? Are they different on the fundamentals of Christianity?

 

[Windmill]

Sort of, depends what you mean by fundementals. I'm a Seventh Day Adventist, he's non-denominational. The thing is, is that he doesn't consider the bible infailable, whereas, I do. If he did, he would believe a lot of what I do.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Sort of, depends what you mean by fundementals. I'm a Seventh Day Adventist, he's non-denominational. The thing is, is that he doesn't consider the bible infailable, whereas, I do. If he did, he would believe a lot of what I do.

Is that difference something that you could not handle in marriage? Or raising a family?

 

[Windmill]

Marriage between us would probably be fine as we both have the same fundemental beliefs, and I myself am quite independant and could stick to my own morals. We've been best friends for 3 years so in the current relationship we know a LOT about each other and are very understanding, and our courtship would be a VERY long time, so we would be able to see how we'd fit. It would be in raising the family that it would become more of the issue. Thats if we would raise a family. If things go how they seem, I would probably get my tubes twisted so I could never have kids.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Marriage between us would probably be fine as we both have the same fundemental beliefs, and I myself am quite independant and could stick to my own morals. We've been best friends for 3 years so in the current relationship we know a LOT about each other and are very understanding, and our courtship would be a VERY long time, so we would be able to see how we'd fit. It would be in raising the family that it would become more of the issue. Thats if we would raise a family. If things go how they seem, I would probably get my tubes twisted so I could never have kids.

Well, my advice is just pray about it. I could be just Satan trying to drive something between you two. And you have plenty of time so its not really something you should be too worried about now.

 

[abacoian]

marriage is not about being independent, it's the total opposite.

 

[Windmill]

marriage is not about being independent, it's the total opposite.

I understand that... thats actually a barrier I would have to probably come over, and this is why we are courting, to see if perhaps far into the future, marriage is a possibility for I am very independent.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

... huh? Can you please explain to me just how that was arrogant?

Its true.. he doesn't consider the bible infailable and would freely admit that. I do. I don't think its arrogant me believing that to be true/ I mean, I didn't criticise him, and I understand why he doesn't... and its also true, he would believe a lot of what I believe if he did... for we have studied, recently and in the past, the bible a lot and we have drawn the same conclusions on the basis the bible really is infailable.

Even so, even though what I said was true, even if it wasn't, it was not arrogant at all, just misinformed. O.O

Would he admit to it? I didn't get that in the original posts. It sounded like you were attacking his beliefs simply for not being a Seventh-Day Adventist. If he was not an SDA, but did believe the Bible to be infallible, would that be a non-issue for you?

Because it's one thing if you are saying that he doesn't consider the Bible infallible because he has different interpretations of some things or another, and you are hating on him because he's not SDA. That is an arrogant attitude. However, if he freely admits that he believes the Bible not to be infallible, then that's another can of worms, and one that should be discussed, and either worked out or used as a dealbreaker, depending on if you can handle that or not.

 

[Windmill]

Would he admit to it? I didn't get that in the original posts. It sounded like you were attacking his beliefs simply for not being a Seventh-Day Adventist. If he was not an SDA, but did believe the Bible to be infallible, would that be a non-issue for you?

Its his official, public stance. He thinks some of it will be correct, but he thinks its written by men who know God well- not inspired by God. Thats what he says.

No, it wouldn't be an issue for me.

Because it's one thing if you are saying that he doesn't consider the Bible infallible because he has different interpretations of some things or another, and you are hating on him because he's not SDA. That is an arrogant attitude. However, if he freely admits that he believes the Bible not to be infallible, then that's another can of worms, and one that should be discussed, and either worked out or used as a dealbreaker, depending on if you can handle that or not.

No, its not that he's not an SDA.

 

[BeautifulDestiny09]

its very interesting...I think if your fundamental views are the same, to the point you can raise a family together without confusion, then its no big deal...but sounds like you guys have very conflicting views about the bible, which can be a problem...and I hope you two don't try to change each other...that more than likely won't happen...

 

[Pennelope]

Marriage between us would probably be fine as we both have the same fundemental beliefs, and I myself am quite independant and could stick to my own morals. . . . It would be in raising the family that it would become more of the issue. Thats if we would raise a family. If things go how they seem, I would probably get my tubes twisted so I could never have kids.

To me, this looks like a red flag. Marriage isn't a congenial partnership of two people who are fond and get along. It's a 100% self-giving to someone you are united with. One reason it's good to pay attention to Scripture's instructions against becoming "unequally yoked" (besides simple obedience) is that when you are fully together in your spiritual walks, it enables a much fuller unity in your marriage. It's not because it might cause practical difficulties.

I think of it this way -- think about our relationship with Christ as if you're a pendulum and he's the hook on the ceiling that you're tied to. If your husband is also tied to the same hook, then the two of you will naturally tend to fall together -- directly under the hook. If your hook is a couple of feet away from his (yeah, in the same room, but not really in the same place), you can still be together, but it will be really hard work to stay that way because gravity will tend to pull you apart if you don't watch out. There are so many better places to put all that energy and hard work.

And, in my experience, it's likely that over time you will want very much to have children with the man you love and are married to. A compromise that causes you to make that permanently impossible doesn't sound wise to me.

God bless you. I hope things work out for the very best.

 

[Observer]

No one can tell you whether you're meant to be with him or not. This type of relationship is between you, him & God.

What's it like to actually be with him? What kind of partner is he? Does he want God to be involved in your relationship? Does he discourage you from having a relationship with God? nobody's perfect...

 

[seangoh]

hi windmill..i just read your post on another thread saying you'd be away for 4 years in US. Didn't realise it's you again back here.lol. Anyway, from reading your posts, you seem like you're a far-sighted person. However, i would like to stress that adventists are more different than other non-christians than you might think. I'm adventist so i can tell you this. Yes we do have the fundamental beliefs in common such as salvation by faith through grace but what else do we have in common or what else do you have in common with your bf? For a couple, the basic essential to a happy marriage is shared values and beliefs. You can have different personality, behaviour and attitude but not different belief systems. If a r/s is to continue with different belief systems, then it's hard to share what you know as an adventist to him coz he can't relate to it and won't appreciate it. If you overcame a sabbath challenge and are happy, will he be able to share the same joy as you when you tell him? If he believed that ppl go to heaven straight away on death, then his responses would be a result of what he believe. Have you encouraged each other spiritually often and spurred each other into having a deeper relationship with God?

(I do not know your true situation between you and him but this is what i share just to give you some thoughts. I also have no intention of this thread turning into a debate about adventist doctrine.)