Due to a condition I was born with, that is impossible to change, I'm pretty much convinced I'm fated to be alone forever. Being in a relationship is not an option, and I've never had any luck with making friends. Knowing i'm going to have to deal with being alone forever is beyond overwhelming, and I don't know how to handle it. I pretty much hate life because of it, but it can't change, so I'm not sure what I should do. And despite years of prayer, God has chosen not to help with the issue, so it seems like I'm on my own.
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Accepting being alone
- Thread starter Jase
- Start date
x0xJesusIsLovex0x
God, is out there. Simply, need faith.
I don't think you are. There are people out there for you. I know accepting advice from a 15 year old girl aint getting you no where. But there are people out there that God make you seek. Thing you have to do, is seek the people.
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madison1101
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I can't imagine any condition that requires a person to be alone for the rest of their life. There are health conditions that might prevent sexual intimacy, but that does not mandate being alone.
I believe you need to get involved with a good, Bible teaching church and find some fellowship. Let God do the rest in your life.
I believe you need to get involved with a good, Bible teaching church and find some fellowship. Let God do the rest in your life.
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While it's hard to say anything without knowing what condition you are suffering from, I don't think you are destined to be alone either. Beware of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you decide you are going to be alone, you might very well end up alone. What exactly are you suffering from?
P.S Don't forget your signature!
P.S Don't forget your signature!
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Making friends is not about luck but a skill we learn. There are a lot of resources on the internet and books that will help point one in the right direction. Sometimes we need to take action and sometimes we need to let go of certain self-defeating behaviours.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Most of us at some time or another feel we have been born with or have some aspect in ourselves that will not allow us to attract someone who wants to be with us. I used to feel like that all the time until I started to realize that I had some character defects that actually scared people away even though I thought it should be something that would attract people. It was through letting go of those characteristics that I started to attract people into my life.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Most of us at some time or another feel we have been born with or have some aspect in ourselves that will not allow us to attract someone who wants to be with us. I used to feel like that all the time until I started to realize that I had some character defects that actually scared people away even though I thought it should be something that would attract people. It was through letting go of those characteristics that I started to attract people into my life.
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Can't really get into the condition on this forum, but it leads to numerous insecurities that never go away. I've been alone my whole life, so I don't see much hope for that changing in the future.
And my signature is wishful thinking, there are far too many limits I have to accept.
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AllTalkNoAction
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Receiving and being led of God's Spirit will transform you.
It makes God's word come true in you.
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madison1101
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Have you tried psychotherapy? I had many insecurities and believed I was fated to be alone after my divorce, but I am being blessed by numerous friends, and beginning to date.Can't really get into the condition on this forum, but it leads to numerous insecurities that never go away. I've been alone my whole life, so I don't see much hope for that changing in the future.
And my signature is wishful thinking, there are far too many limits I have to accept.
Please look into therapy. It can help you learn to work through your insecurities.
Hugs,
Trish
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I kinda know how you feel. I have situations in my life that make it impossible for me to have the kind of relationship I'm assuming you're talking about ( with the significant other.) the doctor told me several years ago...that if I were to have kids. that they would have the same situation I have. so I kinda excepted my call. it's been very difficult, knowing that I will never fall in love. and I fought with it sense I was a young teenager. I'll be forty next mo. and that's the age one is consider a confirmed bachaelor.(lol)
But God is faithful and he has brought lot's of friends in my life and has givin me strenght and contentment through it all. we need to foucous on God and his will for our lives, and not on our struggles. this is defently a situation in which we need CHRIST to give the strength to pulls us through. I know how you feel bro. cheer up.
it's going to be alright, God loves you and has a plan for your life. 
But God is faithful and he has brought lot's of friends in my life and has givin me strenght and contentment through it all. we need to foucous on God and his will for our lives, and not on our struggles. this is defently a situation in which we need CHRIST to give the strength to pulls us through. I know how you feel bro. cheer up.
it's going to be alright, God loves you and has a plan for your life.
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I suffer from some sort of weird anxiety as well, which started about 5 years ago and has effectively isolated me from everyone except my closest family and friends (all people I knew before it happened). I understand what triggered it, but I don't know if it was God's will. What I do know is that while these 5 years have been different, God has used them to draw me closer to Him than ever before, and for that I can do nothing but praise God. Who knows where I would be if this had not happened.Can't really get into the condition on this forum, but it leads to numerous insecurities that never go away. I've been alone my whole life, so I don't see much hope for that changing in the future.
And my signature is wishful thinking, there are far too many limits I have to accept.
During the last few months I have also began to change, as if God is showing me new things to lessen the anxiety. I have no doubt that God is capable of healing me of this, and I do believe that one day He will. I don't know His timetable, but unless He tells me that this is how it is going to be, I'm not going to accept this anxiety as a part of me.
Well, that was a lot about me, but what I'm trying to say is that God can use these things for good. He can shape us and mold us, and we shouldn't accept things like this as permanent unless God tells us that this is how it will be. If we stop fighting, then how will things ever change? Your signature isn't wishful thinking, it's spot on. The only thing it needs added is that you will do it with the strength and guidance of God, not by your own power!
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AWorkInProgress
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lol nah just letting your worries get to you.
1. Be Patient
2. Learn how to open your heart to people around you
3. Learn how to listen to other people
4. Learn about how to take risks.
Only a person who risks - is free.
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Yeah, that's how I feel, although I imagine it's for different reasons. The problem is, being in a relationship and having kids is the most important thing in the world to me. Watching everyone around me be in relationships and start families, knowing I never will is pretty unbearable.
If he cares so much, why is he so silent on the issue? Why won't he at least acknowledge me and tell me he understands how I feel? 8 years of praying and absolutely nothing. Why should I believe God cares or exists for that matter?But God is faithful and he has brought lot's of friends in my life and has givin me strenght and contentment through it all. we need to foucous on God and his will for our lives, and not on our struggles. this is defently a situation in which we need CHRIST to give the strength to pulls us through. I know how you feel bro. cheer up.
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AWorkInProgress
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Should read the book of Job.
Months ago I was talking to a friend about my goals in life. When I woke up in the morning I wanted what you do. I was in no shape thou to start one, let alone maintain it. My bro told me that it wasn't healthy to think like that. It is something we all..well most like to achieve, but it shouldn't be reason we wake up in the morning. Took long time to change that, but it was worth it. I love to help people, so I am seeking ways to do so.
In my experience brother, prayer is to ask our Great Father if he would infliuence events in our lives. Father he is, wiser than us children and he knows when best to answering prayers. I don't look at problems as "please Lord solve my problems!" but more like "Please Lord, help me understand what you are trying to teach me so I may grow in your wisdom."
Just a different train of thought, hopefully it will help you.
God Bless
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Please, read Hebrews 2, the last verses especially, it is about Jesus and his time on earth:
Hebrews 2:17-18:
17Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people.
18For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.
Jesus knows what you are going through. God knows how you feel, and He understands. I don't know why God hasn't answered you in 8 years, but I do suggest you keep seeking Him, putting Him first and everything else second. His promises aren't empty:
Matthew 6:31-34:
31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
God always works according to His timetable, not ours. It can be hard to understand, I know, but it always works out for our best. My words are all empty, but I hope you do trust the word of God:
Romans 8:28:
28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Hebrews 2:17-18:
17Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people.
18For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.
Jesus knows what you are going through. God knows how you feel, and He understands. I don't know why God hasn't answered you in 8 years, but I do suggest you keep seeking Him, putting Him first and everything else second. His promises aren't empty:
Matthew 6:31-34:
31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek
for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
God always works according to His timetable, not ours. It can be hard to understand, I know, but it always works out for our best. My words are all empty, but I hope you do trust the word of God:
Romans 8:28:
28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
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aiki
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Human companionship is important, but divine companionship is vital. God has said he will never leave nor forsake His own. (Heb. 13:5) Strangely, I see that many Christians don't find much comfort in this fact (or, at least, not as much comfort as they ought to find in it). It is not particularly encouraging to many Christians -- especially those like yourself who may never experience the intimacy of a marriage relationship -- to know that God is always with them. Why do you suppose that is? What is it about the relationship between such a Christian and their God that makes the fact of His presence with them less than perfectly fulfilling? HOw do you think God feels about those of His children who feel this way about Him?
The Word of God says that every Christian is "complete" or "filled up" in Christ. (Col. 2:10) He is all we need. Thinking, though, that life is desperate and unfulfilling without the companionship and love of a spouse is to deny that we are, as Christians, complete in Christ.
I was married last year about this time. I was 39 years old. Until I met my wife, I'd never had a serious relationship with a woman -- I'd never even kissed one! There were times over the years prior to my marriage when I came before God and asked Him what was going on. I wanted to marry, but only the woman He provided. To my great consternation, however, it seemed God had no such provision for me. I eventually had to come to grips with the fact that I would likely (it seemed to me) never marry. For a time I felt very unhappy with such a prospect. I was going to be alone. I'd never have anyone to love or who loved me. I'd grow old and die and no one would care.
Of course, such woe-is-me self-talk was a lot of garbage. It was very dramatic and tragic, but total nonsense. Thankfully, God invaded my self-indulgent, self-pitying thinking and rebuked me with the truth that as long as He was around I would never be alone. He reminded me that the love He had for me was deeper, sweeter, fuller, and truer than anything I could ever hope to have with another human being. He showed me how sinful my attitude toward Him was and how it arose from believing what was untrue.
I finally came to the place where I was genuinely content to live to the end of my earthly life with just Him. He could and would be more to me than any spouse might be and I was willing for it to be so.
And then God brought my wife along.
Interesting timing, no?
Peace to you.
The Word of God says that every Christian is "complete" or "filled up" in Christ. (Col. 2:10) He is all we need. Thinking, though, that life is desperate and unfulfilling without the companionship and love of a spouse is to deny that we are, as Christians, complete in Christ.
I was married last year about this time. I was 39 years old. Until I met my wife, I'd never had a serious relationship with a woman -- I'd never even kissed one! There were times over the years prior to my marriage when I came before God and asked Him what was going on. I wanted to marry, but only the woman He provided. To my great consternation, however, it seemed God had no such provision for me. I eventually had to come to grips with the fact that I would likely (it seemed to me) never marry. For a time I felt very unhappy with such a prospect. I was going to be alone. I'd never have anyone to love or who loved me. I'd grow old and die and no one would care.
Of course, such woe-is-me self-talk was a lot of garbage. It was very dramatic and tragic, but total nonsense. Thankfully, God invaded my self-indulgent, self-pitying thinking and rebuked me with the truth that as long as He was around I would never be alone. He reminded me that the love He had for me was deeper, sweeter, fuller, and truer than anything I could ever hope to have with another human being. He showed me how sinful my attitude toward Him was and how it arose from believing what was untrue.
I finally came to the place where I was genuinely content to live to the end of my earthly life with just Him. He could and would be more to me than any spouse might be and I was willing for it to be so.
And then God brought my wife along.
Interesting timing, no?
Peace to you.
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Sometimes, limitations in one area open up opportunities you've never thought about. As a confirmrd hermit, I can tell you that I've used my time to hone many crafts and learn things I never would have had time for had I been tied up with attention to others. I love my friends but I'm much more mighty when I'm alone. Life conditions are often "chosen" so that it helps you to focus on your life's work.
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Hello,
There have been times in my life I was certain no one could understand a disorder or condition I was living with. But the truth is you are not alone. Just because people don't always share the secrets about themselves doesn't mean others don't have the same issue's or other forms of problems. Did that make sense?
Only God knows who we truly are and how are bodies are. Love yourself because God Loves us no matter what. I'm sorry you feel lonley. It's a feeling I think all humans can relate to. Please know others truly care even if you don't "know" them in person.
There have been times in my life I was certain no one could understand a disorder or condition I was living with. But the truth is you are not alone. Just because people don't always share the secrets about themselves doesn't mean others don't have the same issue's or other forms of problems. Did that make sense?
Only God knows who we truly are and how are bodies are. Love yourself because God Loves us no matter what. I'm sorry you feel lonley. It's a feeling I think all humans can relate to. Please know others truly care even if you don't "know" them in person.
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O
onshye1
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sometimes god wants us to be alone so that he can spend a little more time with us. It is better to go through life alone with christ, than to have a million friends but not know Jesus.
god says to seek first the kingdom of righteousness, and everything else will be added to you. so seek god first, and then if god gives you new friends, family, home, etc, it will all be but just frosting on the cake. god created us. Of couse he knows our needs of food, water, clothing, shelter and companionship. But he tells us to give it no thought to what we should wear, what we should eat, etc. he tells us to not even think about it! god says that if we seek his kingdom of righteousness, everything else will follow.
the bible tells us what good is it for a man to gain all the riches of the world but to lose his own soul? The free gift that god gives us- the gift of the holy spirit, the gift of truth and love, is more precious than all the treasures in the universe. it is more precious than money, friends, a PH.D, and even family. so we need to stop wallowing in our self-pity over our present shabby conditions and see the big picture that god has in store for us. All the pain and sufferings in this world is more than worth it to experience the joys of heaven. Likewise, all the pains and sufferings possible in this world is but flea bites to those tormented in hell. whenever I feel a little sorry for myself about what I'm going through, i just tell myself that.
god says to seek first the kingdom of righteousness, and everything else will be added to you. so seek god first, and then if god gives you new friends, family, home, etc, it will all be but just frosting on the cake. god created us. Of couse he knows our needs of food, water, clothing, shelter and companionship. But he tells us to give it no thought to what we should wear, what we should eat, etc. he tells us to not even think about it! god says that if we seek his kingdom of righteousness, everything else will follow.
the bible tells us what good is it for a man to gain all the riches of the world but to lose his own soul? The free gift that god gives us- the gift of the holy spirit, the gift of truth and love, is more precious than all the treasures in the universe. it is more precious than money, friends, a PH.D, and even family. so we need to stop wallowing in our self-pity over our present shabby conditions and see the big picture that god has in store for us. All the pain and sufferings in this world is more than worth it to experience the joys of heaven. Likewise, all the pains and sufferings possible in this world is but flea bites to those tormented in hell. whenever I feel a little sorry for myself about what I'm going through, i just tell myself that.
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