Will your love for one another gradually fades?

[CaliforniaJosiah]

As far as I can see, many friends around me have broken up, and straight fast after that, they have new girlfriends/boyfriends.

Why is this happening so oftenly, are they tired/sick of seeing each other? True loves never fade or what? Im a single thou, and I hope to find out from couples here...

So frequent contact between couples would be good or bad? Too much seeings between each other = boring and dull or the opposite? Which way is better?

Can the feel of strong love from both in the start, maintains all the way till the end? IS it very hard?

Just some of MY thoughts (ain't saying that's much). I'm no Dr. Phil!!!


1. CONFESSION When I was WAY too young (like 13-14), it was just fun. I "enjoyed" it and went with it as long as that's what it was. Fun. Enjoyable. I LIKED girls and being with them, I LIKED all the attention, I LIKED having my juices stirred (um, let's just move on, LOL). It was a symbiotic thing. The minute it wasn't, we split. It's called SELFISH. It is the opposite of love. I grew out of it. Many don't.


2. While I realize I was still very young, I met my "significant other" when I was 16 and she nearly 19. We've been together for over 2 years now. It began on a totally different level, and has evolved into something deep. Love is really about considering the other above yourself, it's about considering the relationship as more important than self. There's a mutual respect. I love HER. I love being in relationship with HER. I love being with HER.


3. Part of the "bordom" issue, I suspect, is an unwillngness or inability to progress in the relationship, it stays superficial and that becomes inadequate (and boring) in time. And PART of this issue is physical. The physical part of it comes pretty darn fast and automatically - it needs precious little help or development (well, at least at our age, LOL). While I'm a virgin, I think that many couples trip up right here. If they jump into bed when their relationship is weak and superficial, I think maybe it becomes "scratching an itch" that can (???!!!!!!) actually become kinda boring and unfulfilling after a while. If they don't "go there" and the relationship doesn't grow, then frustration grows and seeks some other "possibility" (whether conscience or not). Both ways, the "interest" in the RELATIONSHIP dies. It's that old thing that either it grows or it dies.



My $0.005


Hugs


- Josiah



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[PastorJer]

honestly... I think that the "feeling" of love probably goes up and down... but the quality and quanitity of love if it is nurtured and sustained, like any living thing will continue to grow and mature with age!

 

[TeslaZ]

wow,probably the excitement. I hate to think about it.

 

[pepperfish]

I strongly agree with those who have said that friendship is a big part of what keeps love alive. My SO and I are not just in a romantic relationship, he is my best friend and vice versa.

Love surely fades for many couples, for different reasons. But if you meet "the one", or are experiencing true love, boredom and fading interest won't be an issue.

 

[intricatic]

All comes down to intentions. As has been pointed out, friendship is a fantastic way to keep a relationship alive, but that friendship is something that dwells almost entirely within the intentions of both parties in the relationship.

 

[joyouspirit]

When you find the right person, and with a little hard work, it won't fade but will naturally evolve as you both get older.

What he said!!

God bless!!!

 

[Nobility]

Love usually will grow

The attraction can often fade.

 

[AceHero]

Infatuations fade. When that certain person starts going out with someone or you personally spot someone else, then you get a new infatuation. I don't see love as doing so, if you say it does then you're probably not sure of your love or if it exists between the two of you. People often struggle between infatuation and love. There's this girl I have a huge crush on, but that's it. Do I love her? Of course not. But that's easy to tell when you're not in a relationship. If I was with a girl for a considerable amount of time and we were slowly but surely getting closer, then the differentiation between infatuation and love would get fuzzier, which can cause problems when you profess a love that you don't actually have, or even worse, is unrequited, at least at the moment.

I've never been in a relationship, so I'm not too knowledgeable in the love area, but I think it'd be very hard to stop loving someone after you have loved them, which if true must be why breakups (and even divorces) can be so painful. I suppose things could get so bad that you might not truly love the person anymore, but love is so strong a thing I think it'd be hard to see that happen, at least not completely. Once again, my love hasn't gone further than family, friends, and the occasional pet cat (i.e. nothing romantic), so I can't really prove anything here.

This thread is why you should be friends before dating... if possible. Sometimes you need to move on the girl quick to snatch her up....ideally you can take some time to get to know her first.

Which is what I've been working on all year. I've just been using this first year of college to get to know the ladies. Have I progressed? Well, not as much as I'd like to, as things really didn't start going until after Christmas, but there certainly is a movement going on, and that's called "girls slowly starting to notice AceHero!"

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Italian Angel said it best
"When a relationship begins, everything is so exciting. That euphoric feeling of love is so strong, so wonderful. You want to spend every moment with this person. Everything they say and do is just so marvelous.

Unfortuantely these euphoric feelings won't last forever. Once the "newness" wears off, that's when the real work comes in and the real love that is deep and lasting. Some couples come to the conclusion that just because the "WOW" factor cooled down in their relationship, then they don't love each other anymore. So they break up, find someone new and have those wonderful beginning feelings again, only to have those feelings eventully cool off and the pattern starts all over again. What they fail to realize is that love is a choice. You have to wake up every day and make the choice to love this person, because if you rely on your feelings alone, you're going to be disappointed."

I thought this was really good, and this is what I was going to say myself, just couldn't word it any better

 

[A2597]

many people don't relize that love is something you maintain, and work for.

When your friends start a relationship, what are they doing? Going out on dates, having fun times. etc.

Then they stop going out as often, stop doing some of the things they did, and then the relationship starts to peter out...and rather than working to maintain it, they end it. Never relizing that love is something they have to work for to keep strong.

 

[Blank123]

true love:

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. - 1 cor 13:4-8a

love is a choice not just a feeling that is fleeting.

 

[MatthewBartholomew]

As far as I can see, many friends around me have broken up, and straight fast after that, they have new girlfriends/boyfriends.

Why is this happening so oftenly, are they tired/sick of seeing each other? True loves never fade or what? Im a single thou, and I hope to find out from couples here...

So frequent contact between couples would be good or bad? Too much seeings between each other = boring and dull or the opposite? Which way is better?

Can the feel of strong love from both in the start, maintains all the way till the end? IS it very hard?

Think about it in this manner:


Why do Christians who are sooo on fire for God, eventually fade away.

The answer is:

They don't put the relationship first in their life and they take it for granted!

We can keep that "in love" feeling forever if we want to.

We just have to really want it.

Just like with our walk with God. We may need to cut things out of our lives to make sure our relationships flourishes.

I think too much time between couples is a valid concern. If we spend all our time together, what is left to talk about? If you are the kind of couple that needs their space...then maybe you shouldn't spend all your time together.


Yes the feeling of love can flourish till the end. But you know there are seasons in all our relationships. There will be points where you may not like each other. Like if you had a terrible tragedy be fall you, you might blame God at first. But deep down you know he caused you no harm and he loves you.


I'm sorry for not making a lot of sense....lol

 

[mikeyp]

I strongly believe that God is the glue in Christian relationships. I believe that nothing save God can break the glue that hold Lisa and I together in love. We both strive to stay close to God and to get closer to Him together. I believe that in doing that, God brings us closer to each other all the time. It's something we've noticed ourselves too... we had a funny patch a small while back where God told us we were getting too dependent on each other and he started to remove some of the closeness He'd given us... He was telling us to come back to Him. We both spent a week focusing on God rather than each other, and when we came back at the end of it, not only had we reconnected with God, but we were so so much closer to each other too. It was like God had renewed our relationship. We now strive to work for God in our relationship whenever we can. We do devotions every day we can. We pray together, though that is something I would like to do a little more too. Over a month later and those renewed feelings haven't subsided.

Long story short, I believe that if you are pleasing God by living for Him, striving to be closer to Him day by day, He will bless you. God will bless your relationship.

Of course don't forget either that a lot of prayer and faith is required, because you need to be sure you have found the right person. I believe with all my heart that Lisa is the one for me. God is telling us that in more ways than one too.

 

[Stratiotes]

In my opinion true love is spiritual. But the wonderful feeling of attraction (butterflies in stomach, infatuation, etc) is caused by hormonal and chemical reactions. According to most studies, this can last anywhere from a few months to around two years (and in a few rare cases, longer). So the passion tends to die, or at least dwindle to the point to where a couple has to actually make an effort to keep it alive. But that doesn't mean love dies.

Unfortunately I think many people mistake that feeling for love. The people who base their relationships completely on the initial burning passion feel lost once that passion begins to go away. But people who base their relationships on other things such as companionship, emotional bonding, similarities, and most importantly, God--it appears their relationships are more likely to survive the loss of euphoria.

 

[Andy Broadley]

The secret is having the right foundations to your love.

Laura and I were good friends for 2 years before we fell in love. Added to our strong shared faith, that provided us with foundations that go very very deep, and everything we have is built upon that

Love that quickly fades usually has little or nothing beneath it to keep it strong.

 

[Weasel7711]

I think after the sparks fade its all about choosing to love the person. Not that it is super hard afterwards (necessarily) but your love has evolved and it isn't a natural thing where you overlook their every flaw because you feel good inside. Its more of a I choose to overlook your mistakes because I love you and there is ONE who loves me enough to look past MY flaws.

 

[Andy Broadley]

I think after the sparks fade its all about choosing to love the person. Not that it is super hard afterwards (necessarily) but your love has evolved and it isn't a natural thing where you overlook their every flaw because you feel good inside. Its more of a I choose to overlook your mistakes because I love you and there is ONE who loves me enough to look past MY flaws.

Warts and all as we say over here...

 

[Stolic]

I think it is very important to be clear with each other from the outset regarding each other's relationship with God. It is hard to do so with the initial hormonal giddiness that occurs early on, but prayerfully it is possible I would hope, that the balance is kept with God being foremost. Please pray for me as I do for y'all!

 

[cmarie423]

Heres my take. Me and my boyfriend first started dating and the feeling was AMAZING. I couldn't believe how amazing it was finding out so much about him and how much we were alike. I wanted to spend every hour second and minute with him I could but as the months passed I still wanted that but it wasn't new anymore so I thought there was something wrong. The problem is people think after the newness wears off that they automatically have to leave to find someone else. Thats not the case they just don't know what there feeling. Also problems will come up and most people dont want to handle them. Like for me me and my boyfriend had some serious issues it got almost to the point where we were going to go our seperate ways and than we decided to stop and look at everything what each one of us were doing. Figuring out our problems and stuff, and everything was great again and we're still going strong. My point is, if you really love eachother you'll do anything to fix it. So the people around you aren't really in love if they can't handle problems, or the newness wearing off...

 

[FlufBrown]

My fiancee and I have been dating for almost 7 years now. For a very long time I am able to stand all the things that he says or he does. However, ever since I go to church I feel our thinking and what we value are totally different. (he doesnt' belive in God, his family only believe in themselves) One day I feel I don't love him any more and this feeling scares me a lot. I don't know what happened and I'm now scared to be married to him. I lost faith in our future and I'm not sure if I really want to be with him any more.

I pray to God everyday hoping to get an answer or hoping that God can lead me to my destiny. I really want to know what is happening to me. I feel that I betrayed my fiancee.