Good attitude around unbelievers!!!

[SumMer88]

Ok so being in college has just been increasingly difficult .... well I know being a christian in any worldly place is difficult... I guess the hardest part is youre surrounded by what the bible says to obstain from:.... "idle babbling" I feel like in class thats all people talk about... stuff that doesnt matter.
And its really hard to have meaningful conversations.

This mentor / teacher of mine has told me "not to look at people like white trash"

I feel like I have a hard time with this. I really need an attitude adjustment towards "sinners" in general, cause i know im a big hypocrite if i dont remember that i too am just like that, and no better.

Does anyone else struggle with this?
I dont know how to balance acceptance/a positive attitude toward sinners or non-believers , yet not laughing or just going along with things they say, portraying the message like "doing that is ok"...

Any help or advice would be amazing!

 

[Elijah2]

The amazing advice that can be given to you, is to continue to overcome and conquer your strongholds, and submit to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Keep on confessing and repenting your sins to our Lord verbally, and not in your mind.

Keep on forgiving those "white trash" as you say, and loving them, and most of all forgive yourself and love yourself.

And then when you get a spare minute start practicing the fruit of the Spirit.

 

[Catholic Wife]

I suggest the following exercise for you:

Find at least ONE positive thing about every person you meet. It could be anything from their kindness to their pretty blue eyes to their skill at hacky sack (do people still play with those???). God doesn't make "trash", and looking for the beauty in each person will allow you to see them for what they are - God's creations.

 

[SumMer88]

Hi, thanks for the advice...

Well I probably need to clarify that I don't think any of God's children are "white trash" ... that is how my spiritual mentor referred to it as, and he doesn't think of any one that way either.

My dilema is that I take classes at both a University and a junior college. The junior college definitely has more "partiers" and it is hard to hold conversations with them when they consist of "yeah I work at a bar, I got so drunk the other night... it was great" type thing.

I am just confused how I am supposed to maintain a good attitude towards them without letting them think the lifestyles theyre choosing are a good path.

Thank you for the reminder of practicing the fruit of spirit, that is something i am always striving to improve on...

And the exercise of finding something good in them sounds very helpdful too...

 

[Catholic Wife]

Hi, thanks for the advice...

Well I probably need to clarify that I don't think any of God's children are "white trash" ... that is how my spiritual mentor referred to it as, and he doesn't think of any one that way either.

My dilema is that I take classes at both a University and a junior college. The junior college definitely has more "partiers" and it is hard to hold conversations with them when they consist of "yeah I work at a bar, I got so drunk the other night... it was great" type thing.

I am just confused how I am supposed to maintain a good attitude towards them without letting them think the lifestyles theyre choosing are a good path.

Thank you for the reminder of practicing the fruit of spirit, that is something i am always striving to improve on...

And the exercise of finding something good in them sounds very helpdful too...

Thanks for the clarification.

As for how to maintain a good attitude towards them without letting them think the path they are choosing isn't a good one is difficult. I don't know that I could do that (of course, I've been told that I can be too blunt at times). In situations similar to what you described, I would either not associate with them (we wouldn't have much in common). Or, I would end up saying something to the effect of, "some of us don't need to get drunk to have a good time" (which might come across as "holier than thou").

 

[ephraimanesti]

Ok so being in college has just been increasingly difficult .... well I know being a christian in any worldly place is difficult... I guess the hardest part is youre surrounded by what the bible says to obstain from:.... "idle babbling" I feel like in class thats all people talk about... stuff that doesnt matter.
And its really hard to have meaningful conversations.

This mentor / teacher of mine has told me "not to look at people like white trash"

I feel like I have a hard time with this. I really need an attitude adjustment towards "sinners" in general, cause i know im a big hypocrite if i dont remember that i too am just like that, and no better.

Does anyone else struggle with this?
I dont know how to balance acceptance/a positive attitude toward sinners or non-believers , yet not laughing or just going along with things they say, portraying the message like "doing that is ok"...

Any help or advice would be amazing!

MY DEAR SISTER,

i think that all of us, if we are honest, will admit to having a problem in the area of Judgmentalism. The overarching SIN under which Judgmentalism falls is, of course, PRIDE. So that sinful character defect--our PRIDE, VAINGLORY, and EGOISM--needs to be addressed before Judgmentalism can be conquered--it's a "you can't control the weed without first killing the root" kind of thing.

What has helped me the most in the Spiritual Warfare involved in dealing with my Pride is a little "Christian Classic" entitled "HUMILITY" by Andrew Murray. i paid good money for this little jewel, and now i find it is available as a free download at:

www.worldinvisible.com/library/murray/5f00.0565/5f00.0565.c.htm

i would highly recommend that you check it out as a very effective tool for dealing with the issues you are discussing.

A BOND-SLAVE OF CHRIST,
ephraim

 

[ephraimanesti]

I am just confused how I am supposed to maintain a good attitude towards them without letting them think the lifestyles theyre choosing are a good path.

MY SISTER,

Might i point out that YOUR JOB is "to maintain a good [loving!] attitude towards them."

It is the HOLY SPIRIT'S JOB to convict them of the fact that "the lifestyles they are choosing are [NOT] a good path."

YOU DO YOUR JOB--HE WILL DO HIS.

BE BLESSED,
ephraim

 

[rejectreality]

Indeed, I know how you feel. I too am currently attending a university and have many times, come across your same situation. My advice is to take the advice of all those who've already posted. Keep loving people. There really is something good in everyone. Keep walking with God. Let your life be an example to those who are lost. You never know who's watching who might just decide, "Hey, I want to live like her". Many of my own friends are non-believers, but I can't condemn them for it. They are lost, and thus, I can't judge them. I do hope you continue to overcome life's obstacles as you seem to have thus far. Keep leaning on Jesus, the Solid Rock. God bless

 

[childofaking]

This is a very common for christians i experience this every day, i work in construction and in this industry bad language pornography and many other things that we know to be wrong are considerd "normal"
As others have said although this goes on around us we must try to love these people all the same, and remember because they are not walking in gods light they may not even know the wrong they do. What usualy happens with me is somone will comment and say " why dont you swear or look at pornography" that then gives me a great chance to tell them about what i believe and why i dont do these things, i also have to tell them and remember myself that before i became a christian i did all the things they are doing and it was jesus thet changed me not my own efforts.Anyway i still fall in to the trap of pride at times but i believe in time the lord will help me to change as he will with you.
We all have to remember too that god does not judge people as we do but by whats in there hearts.

Hope this helps a little i understand how you feel but this is one of many parts of our faith which is not easy.

God bless you

 

[heymikey80]

Y'know, I struggle with this too, even now. One of the books I have to go back to every few years is "Out of the Salt Shaker".

What follows are paraphrases, and I've probably injected some of my own explanations -- but the book really triggered it for me. I remember a short banter back & forth with someone complaining about Christians being "holier than thou." The writer explained, "Christians don't believe in murder." And the person sneered, "Well I don't think anyone believes in that."

"But well, Christians think spirituality is a matter of the heart. So if you do things which are from a heart of hatred, it's no different from a heart that murders. The only difference is you have the prudence not to do something criminal. But you're killing people in your heart and mind."

With someone who's partying to their own damage, I wonder what their heart is really growing? To me that's critical. What is the real damage being done? There is damage, it's the damage of not caring for yourself, or maybe not caring about others, or just wanting to get away from my responsibilities -- essentially saying other people don't matter or what I do doesn't matter. I'm not sure what the heart motive is -- but it's important.

The critical thing from my point of view is, how can I be redemptive with what I know? If I realize drinking is detrimental (if not dangerous, depending on mixing w/ driving), but someone I know doesn't realize it? What next? I have to get closer to help examine motives. (I also have to be a strong enough Christian not to be tempted by what I find there.) And when I find the heart motive, can I get the point across to someone I barely know? No: I have to be a close friend. And once I'm a close friend -- will I be strong enough a Christian to accept the dislike from others who may see me as cross-examining them, and not simply being redemptive, as my God is redemptive?

I know it sounds like a paradox, but your mentor is right to help you get over the offense here. As you become a powerhouse of strength and humility, you can get in there with the redeeming work of Christ and work to help others.

 

[PrettyLittlePrincess]

To the original poster, iI know exactly what you're going through. The thing is, most of the people I find myself doing that with say they're Christians and still go on doing what they're doing. Not just the I-celebrate-Christmas-so-I-guess-I'm-a-Christian kind of Christians either, but people who pray and worship and turn around and do so many things that don't show that. It's not just the partying things you usually see in college but gossip and lying ,well, being two-faced and fake. It's hard to see that.

Take the advice of the people who have posted already, and, just to add to it, I pray a lot about how I feel about those people and for forgiveness for being judgemental. That's usually when I realize the good in them, at God's discretion, I'd say.

 

[Johnnz]

These words of C S Lewis have shaped my attitudes towards people I meet.

Gen 1:26-27
26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible, for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour . The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations-these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit-immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously-no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner- no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses.

John
NZ

 

[JPPT1974]

Remember we need to show a
Loving and generous attitude towards
Those people who may want to come to
Know Christ but we also need not to
Be stumblers despite it being hard.
Go to the Lord and ask Him to help you
In this area.