Can a Non-Denominational succefully date a Catholic?

[Ryokeen]

I have this friendship with a friend of mine named Kelly. It is my belief that dating should be all about God and Friendship and Growing closer to God and having fun together and I feel like this girl is on the same level as me in those aspects.

She's mature and fun and a really great Christian.
She's a Catholic (which is fine with me!)
and I'm obviously a Non-Denominational kind of Guy.

We see eye to eye with everything. Minus the differences in beliefs but we both love the same kind of preachers, movies, music everything.

She's a great friend and lately we've been become closer.

I was just wanting to know before I made any desision if it could work out or if it's just flirty stuff.

I am praying about it right now, and she keeps surprising me with how similar are beliefs are about dating.

As a Non-Denominational Christian I see her Catholic faith as simply what works best for her for growing closer to God and having no base Doctrine other than being a Christian I see nothing wrong with the practices. As I said it works best for her and that's great =).
I also am comfortable attending normal services at a Catholic church as she is comfortable attending services at my church. We're not totaly in love with eachothers faiths but we understadn that what works best works best and we enjoy questioning eachother on our beliefs and sharing laughs and smiles about it.


If you want any more info ask...
I'm sleepy.

God Bless =)!

 

[Angeldove97]

YES YES YES It can work!! I'm a Catholic and my boyfriend (scorcher505 here) is Non-demon. I love him to death and he's my best friend.

 

[Scorcher505]

We disagree on some things but it is great! I love you!

 

[ImperialPhantom]

As long as her trust is in Christ alone for salvation, then yeah, it can work.

 

[keyz]

It could "work". There will most likely be conflict in the future because of this. If there isn't then I would have to question how much you really hold to your beliefs.

 

[superfly]

do not underestimate the differences in beliefs thing. it can work out, but that means that both of you are gonna have to come to a compromise. if you're not willing to do so, then rather don't go there in the first place.

remember also that a relationship is a precursor to marriage. you need to keep marriage in mind when going out now. so if you don't think that it would work with your different beliefs if you were married, then don't get involved with her in the first place.

 

[Gardener101]

Can anyone please explain to me the main areas they would have difference of opinions in? The only one I can think of is contraception/family planning, and divorce.

Thank you.

 

[WashedClean]

Can anyone please explain to me the main areas they would have difference of opinions in? The only one I can think of is contraception/family planning, and divorce.

Thank you.

Well, those are two biggies, dontcha think? Other than that, I guess they would mostly be doctrinal beliefs such as transubstantiation, confession to a priest, etc.

 

[superfly]

Can anyone please explain to me the main areas they would have difference of opinions in? The only one I can think of is contraception/family planning, and divorce.

are you talking in general or spiritually?

 

[Gardener101]

In general.

Other ones I can think of is that Christians hate the idea of 'hailing' or praying to Mary.

Also, prayer beads and baptism. Many Christians think you should be baptised as an adult but the Catholics think it is when you are a baby.

Stuff like that. Any others?


Thanks.

 

[dusky_tresses]

My bf is Catholic and I am not. It isn't a problem because we discuss things together.

I see this issue pretty much along the same lines as race. Can two Christians of different races "work" in a relationship or marriage? yes, I would say.

I only have one sentence of advice and here it is: I think it would be a problem only if you make it an issue between yourselves.

 

[Gardener101]

I cannot see how this can be related to differences in race.

 

[Sketcher]

If you're comfortable with worshiping in a Catholic church, I'd say fine. I am not, so I wouldn't date a Catholic personally. I believe if you can't worship together comfortably, you shouldn't be together.

 

[dusky_tresses]

I cannot see how this can be related to differences in race.

What I'm trying to point out is, why does it really matter? This is just an example of how far we as Christians have chosen to separate ourselves from each other. To me it does not matter. Why does it matter if another person is a Christian, regardless of their race or their denominational background?

I can understand the concerns of the OP, but this just goes to show what the Bible was talking about when Paul spoke of splits and dissents in the Christian church, That's all.

 

[Gardener101]

I found this on another message board. It is a Catholic woman replying to man who is asking questions about dating a Catholic girl.


"If you want to take the relationship to another level, and marry even, not only will you be waiting for sex, I would think it highly likely that she will want you to convert, and it goes without saying, you will have to promise to bring up your children as Catholics.

In fact if you don't promise that before marriage then they won't allow you to marry in Church anyway.

Its a minefield, and one to think long and hard about.

have to add this too....my mother was dyed in the wool like your girlfriend, until she became a more open minded Christian/Catholic.

When my parents had their last child, my mother nearly died, and the doctor told her never to have any more children. As a Catholic, she refused to use contraception. My father's fear of getting her pregnant resulted in him becoming impotent, and they never had a proper healthy sex life again."


And this was another reply given by a man:


"Since you had lots of sex with your wife before marriage, before you had the wedding, did you confess?

If not, the marriage is, I believe, considered invalid....at least by the Catholic point of view. Don't quote me on it though.

I just know there's alot of nuances in the teachings...like I knew this older widow woman, who married a man who was divorced but not annulled, which made their marriage invalid, so she could not take communion, she could attend Mass though."

I therefore think that this is something that needs to be researched very carefully before going into it. It is nowhere near comparable to an inter-racial relationship, in my view.

 

[dusky_tresses]

I found this on another message board. It is a Catholic woman replying to man who is asking questions about dating a Catholic girl.


"If you want to take the relationship to another level, and marry even, not only will you be waiting for sex, I would think it highly likely that she will want you to convert, and it goes without saying, you will have to promise to bring up your children as Catholics.

In fact if you don't promise that before marriage then they won't allow you to marry in Church anyway.

Its a minefield, and one to think long and hard about.

have to add this too....my mother was dyed in the wool like your girlfriend, until she became a more open minded Christian/Catholic.

When my parents had their last child, my mother nearly died, and the doctor told her never to have any more children. As a Catholic, she refused to use contraception. My father's fear of getting her pregnant resulted in him becoming impotent, and they never had a proper healthy sex life again."


And this was another reply given by a man:


"Since you had lots of sex with your wife before marriage, before you had the wedding, did you confess?

If not, the marriage is, I believe, considered invalid....at least by the Catholic point of view. Don't quote me on it though.

I just know there's alot of nuances in the teachings...like I knew this older widow woman, who married a man who was divorced but not annulled, which made their marriage invalid, so she could not take communion, she could attend Mass though."

I therefore think that this is something that needs to be researched very carefully before going into it. It is nowhere near comparable to an inter-racial relationship, in my view.

At the risk of being rude, read my first post again. If a Catholic (or any Christian person) chooses to delve into nonBiblical nuances to the point of anal retention, that is really their problem because they chose to make it that way.

And btw, my bf is also a Catholic. But believes that birth control is an issue between a husband and wife and NOONE else, could care less about transubstantiation, believes in raising his children as CHRISTIANS and letting them decide for themselves what denom they want to be part of as adults, and could care less if the Catholic church ever considered our marriage valid because we wouldn't "promise" anything to them. My bf may be a cafeteria Catholic, but he is more Christian than anything. He prefers to identify himself as Christian before Catholic.

 

[Gardener101]

At the risk of being rude, read my first post again. If a Catholic (or any Christian person) chooses to delve into nonBiblical nuances to the point of anal retention, that is really their problem because they chose to make it that way.

And btw, my bf is also a Catholic. But believes that birth control is an issue between a husband and wife and NOONE else, could care less about transubstantiation, believes in raising his children as CHRISTIANS and letting them decide for themselves what denom they want to be part of as adults, and could care less if the Catholic church ever considered our marriage valid because we wouldn't "promise" anything to them. My bf may be a cafeteria Catholic, but he is more Christian than anything. He prefers to identify himself as Christian before Catholic.

In which case your first 'advice' is invalid.

"My bf is Catholic and I am not. It isn't a problem because we discuss things together."


Your comment is misleading, because at the end of the day your boyfriend is not really Catholic, is he?

Which leads me to reiterate that it is NOT something comparable to dating inter-racially and that anyone who is considering doing it should RESEARCH it properly, and raise all the issues (including the ones you mentioned) with their prospective partner.

It also confirms quite glaringly, that Keyz was 100% correct when she wrote on page 1

" There will most likely be conflict in the future because of this. If there isn't then I would have to question how much you really hold to your beliefs."


And this relates to the kind of 'Catholic' your boyfriend is.

 

[Weasel7711]

As long as her trust is in Christ alone for salvation, then yeah, it can work.

Just what I was gonna say

 

[Angeldove97]

We don't hail as in worship Mary, we hail as in ask her to pray for us (like any other Christian would ask a Brother or Sister to pray for them!).

Anyways, Sean is non-denom and he's completely okay with us raising the children as Catholic (though I'm perfectly fine with them going to non-denom services as well). He's also willing to learn about Catholicism in order to teach our kids about it. Over-all I think a couple like us needs to discuss such issues on raising kids, marriage, etc. I don't think we need to debate about what we believe and why, we just agree we have different beliefs (I can usually take him in a debate anyways lol).

Orthodox also baptise as babies (I was R.O. when I was growing up), and Sean's perfectly fine with us baptising our kids as babies to. It's mainly because we view the function of baptism as different things.

There are differences... but there's an amazing amount of love, trust, communication, and loyalty. If you have those and you have God in your relationship it WILL work.

Another tip... have Bible studies together. Sean and I started doing a read through the Bible in one year study and we get to see what he believes and what I believe... so far we have a HUGE amount in common.

 

[Angeldove97]

If you're comfortable with worshiping in a Catholic church, I'd say fine. I am not, so I wouldn't date a Catholic personally. I believe if you can't worship together comfortably, you shouldn't be together.

I'm not trying to cause problems... just wondering and would like to hear your opinion. Honestly!!

Why wouldn't you date a Catholic? Do you not consider us Christians?

Are you not interested in learning about different flavors of Christianity?

I know this is slightly off-topic so it can be ignored if you wish to have it that way, but I also at one point has a dislike for Catholics (shocking I know!), but I started attending Mass with my then boyfriend who was Catholic and started learning more about in order to show him it's wrongs. It actually ended up turning me Catholic... learn a little bit more about the Mass and it's beauty and you might jsut fall in love with it!

God bless you and I do hope to hear from you!!