intelligence

[Macrina]

I'll go out on a limb and speak in favor of intelligence.

What I mean, in a most basic sense, is that if I were to choose a life partner, I would want that person to be someone whose decisions and convictions I could respect and discuss with him. I'd enjoy being with someone who appreciates clever humor and can discuss abstract ideas.

I suppose when I refer to intelligence, I mean the ability to process complex thought and articulate thoughts in a way that can be understood. Combined with this is what I mentioned in the education thread, a desire for continual learning and growth.

 

[Braticus]

I can't say I'm looking for a person who is considered smart by the worldly view. I think that my brother Jeff is the smarted person I've even known and he hasn't got anything past his grade 12. He is what you might call 'self educated'. Anything he is interesed in...he just finds the information and motivates himself to learn it. I've learned more for him tham form any teacher I've ever had.
I think creativity is also a part of intelligence. To be able to view something in a different way than the rest of the general population is important.
Mostly, in a spouse, I'm looking for someone who has an interesting data base! Intelligent but maybe not in the 'usual' way. I want someone who will keep me thinking.

 

[Braticus]

to stir things up a bit...I will talk about how i voted.

I would like someone who isn't well educated. I often think of great women in my family that didn't have a great education for example my grandmother who didn't go to high school but they were still amazing wives and husbands. Of course not soley because they were uneducated but I always loved their content ignorance and I would love have that kind of person myself.

My grandmother is one of those sort of women. She is very humble and submissive, (and an excellent cook!). I agree...they are great women and there are too few of them now.

 

[Blank123]

i voted for intelligence

intelligence doesn't necesarily mean that a person has a 280 IQ or that they graduated with honors or even that they went to college/university. All that means is that they have a working brain and they can learn things and hold an intelligent conversation. I dunno why that'd be a bad thing to want in a spouse

 

[Tenorvoice]

hold an intelligent conversation.

That's why I talk to myself all the time...to have an intelligent conversation.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

To me, social/emotional intelligence is important. I would like someone who is good at making decisions, is tactful, has self control, and would be a good leader. I could care less about what sort of facts they know. I do think a college education is a good thing to have, but I'm not going to refuse to date someone just because they do not have or are not seeking a degree.

 

[VozNocturna]

Okay, I've said it many times before, I was in a relationship with someone who could not hold a conversation. Does that make him any less of a person? No. Is there someone out there for him? ABSOLUTELY! He deserves to be in a great relationship. And he is probably meant to be with someone who doesn't really have much to say and is content just hanging out, watching TV, etc.

But it drove ME nuts.

Me: "What do you think about this?"
Him: I don't know.
Me: "What do you think about that?"
Him: I don't know.
Me: "What did you like about the movie?"
Him: I don't know.

I think he felt extremely frustrated because I wanted more of him intellectually and he couldn't give it. He grew up in a house where people did not communicate emotionally or intellectually. He also made a lot of ignorant and embarrassing comments in public. We were an anomaly from day one. In the end, I had NO respect for him because subconsciously, as much as it pains me to admit it, he seemed "dumb" to me. And no man wants to be with a woman who doesn't respect him. I knew I didn't want him to father my children because I felt he wouldn't be able to share any knowledge with them. It created a lot of tension in our relationship.

I think I want someone who I can learn from--who I respect and look up to as a thinker--and who can learn from me and respect me as well. It's not about IQ levels, an academic credential, etc. I would certainly marry someone who was less "credentialed" than me. I know people with no college degrees who can hold a conversation with anyone at any level. Plus, I want to raise thinking children who can articulate their views.

 

[JPPT1974]

My grandmother is one of those sort of women. She is very humble and submissive, (and an excellent cook!). I agree...they are great women and there are too few of them now.

So is my mom and both of my grandmothers!
Humble and submissive to God and to their husbands!

 

[Braticus]

So is my mom and both of my grandmothers!
Humble and submissive to God and to their husbands!

Too bad this has been lost through that generations. I'd like to be a humble and submissive wife. Maybe if I'd gotten married at 18 like my grandma I'd be more like that. I think that a lot of our 'problems' with submission lie in the fact that we are too independant before marriage. I like making my own decisions....I'd really need to learn not to try to for a man to change his mind! I'm so opinionated and stubborn!

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

To answer your tongue-in-cheek observation with a real answer...

Relative intelligence is determined primarily by the speed and accuracy with which a person is able to process that information - which is what is IQ tests attempt to measure. It is in fact possible to be more or less intillegent based upon the ability to process information with more or less speed and accuracy than the average person, the priority of which it is, I suppose, the purpose of this thread to determine. Of course, that's only the working definition of psycology, and many on here seem to have a lightly different one - often integrating less mainstream intellegence theory, like Gardner's Multiple Intelligences, and the addition of mental flexibility as a criteria (I can't remember where that falls in psycology though)

"If you wish to converse with me, define your terms." -- Voltaire


I find most of the discussions here--never mind the topic--to be extremely frustrating.

Intelligence, as I understand it, is a trait that one is born with. It is not learned.

Yet, if someone brings up "intelligence" in this forum people respond by talking about things that are learned. Communication skills. Social skills. Sense of humor. An intellectual life. Knowledge. Etc. Etc.

Intelligence contributes to things like knowledge, of course. But one's intelligence is independent of knowledge. One can be extremely intelligent but at the same time be ignorant. Several years ago when it was reported that young people in so-called less-developed countries scored higher than Americans on certain tests, a newspaper commentary that I read said, if I recall correctly, something to the effect of, "We are getting sharper, but more ignorant". In other words, a case could be made that while the intelligence of individuals' in populations has increased relative to earlier generations, individuals' knowledge has not--and individuals' knowledge may have even decreased relative to earlier generations. If I recall correctly, the author's thesis was that the American public should not be alarmed if people on other continents are demonstrating that they have sharper minds than Americans. What we should really be concerned about, the author seemed to be saying, is knowledge and ignorance.

I seriously doubt that when people come to Singles Ministry Forum and talk about "intelligence" in a dating/marriage partner that they are thinking of the capacity and ability to process information. If that is what they mean then they should consider dating/marrying a computer or a robot.

I am sure that it is safe to say that by "intelligence" people mean things like:


1.) Knowledge.

2.) Values and attitudes with respect to learning and thinking.

3.) Learned and/or developed skills such as literacy and speech.

4.) Wisdom.

5.) Etc.


It would be nice, however, if people would recognize that intelligence is independent of those things. It would be refreshing if people would not bring up "intelligence" when it is not what they really mean.

Of course, people could really mean intelligence. In that case they would probably be better off searching for a powerful computer or robot to date/marry.

Saying that intelligence is "attractive" is like saying that motor skills are "attractive".

Yeah, intelligence is important in a dating/marriage relationship. But what is really attractive is what a woman does with her intelligence, whatever form and degree of it she has.

 

[Llauralin]

"If you wish to converse with me, define your terms." -- Voltaire


I find most of the discussions here--never mind the topic--to be extremely frustrating.

Intelligence, as I understand it, is a trait that one is born with. It is not learned.

Yet, if someone brings up "intelligence" in this forum people respond by talking about things that are learned. Communication skills. Social skills. Sense of humor. An intellectual life. Knowledge. Etc. Etc.

Intelligence contributes to things like knowledge, of course. But one's intelligence is independent of knowledge. One can be extremely intelligent but at the same time be ignorant. Several years ago when it was reported that young people in so-called less-developed countries scored higher on certain tests, a newspaper commentary that I read said, if I recall correctly, something to the effect of, "We are getting sharper, but more ignorant". In other words, a case could be made that while the intelligence of individuals' in populations has increased relative to earlier generations, individuals' knowledge has not--and individuals' knowledge may have even decreased relative to earlier generations. If I recall correctly, the author's thesis was that the American public should not be alarmed if people on other continents are demonstrating that they have sharper minds than Americans. What we should really be concerned about, the author seemed to be saying, is knowledge and ignorance.

I seriously doubt that when people come to Singles Ministry Forum and talk about "intelligence" in a dating/marriage partner that they are thinking of the capacity and ability to process information. If that is what they mean then they should consider dating/marrying a computer or a robot.

I am sure that it is safe to say that by "intelligence" people mean things like:


1.) Knowledge.

2.) Values and attitudes with respect to learning and thinking.

3.) Learned and/or developed skills such as literacy and speech.

4.) Wisdom.

5.) Etc.


It would be nice, however, if people would recognize that intelligence is independent of those things. It would be refreshing if people would not bring up "intelligence" when it is not what they really mean.

Of course, people could really mean intelligence. In that case they would probably be better off searching for a powerful computer or robot to date/marry.

Saying that intelligence is "attractive" is like saying that motor skills are "attractive".

Yeah, intelligence is important in a dating/marriage relationship. But what is really attractive is what a woman does with her intelligence, whatever form and degree of it she has.

Mmm... interesting.

I had to take Educational Psycology, where we talked a lot about intelligence theories, tests, etc last year, and I guess all the assumptions of Psycology got so ingrained I didn't suppose people generally meant anything radically different than I did by "intillegent." Higher intilligence does, of course, make it easier for a person to gain and retain knowledge, follow complex reasoning, develope mental skills more quickly and easily, with fewer repititions, etc. That, in turn, often (though not always) leads to an increase of knowledge and skills in that individual, although there also seems to be a corrolation between extremely high intelligence and mild emotional/mental disorders (or so I recall... I've forgottent he study though, so don't take that too seriously).

I have no clue why intillegence would be linked to a particular set of values held about learning or thinking, or any other values for that matter, as basic assumptions about what is valuable in humanity tend to be fundamentally irrational and picked up either as children or from out belief system. I thought it somewhat interesting that the prizon population actually has a significantly higher percentage of people with very high IQs (the study, presented by a school "gifted and talented" program was, IIRC, concerned with the top 2% of the population) than the general population.

On the other hand, saying that I would look for a guy who was pretty intelligent does not mean that a supercomputer is the ideal date - we are, of course, talking about only one facet of a person here, which is modified or directed by everything else that makes a person unique, like values (that which they consider to be of high value, to be picky), temperment, culture, education, interests, likes & dislikes, and on and on. The boyfriend as computer ideal is only what might happen if a person were to take one desirable trait and blow it completely out of proportion to it's true significance. That's like saying that if a girl says she'd like someone with a sense of humor, to assume that anyone who's not a stand up comic all the time doesn't fit. Perhaps every once in a while, but generally well-roundedness is more to be desired.

 

[javaluver]

Intelligence is very important to me.

 

[antiarte]

I’ve never done a poll before so I’m hoping this will work so vote above please. In either case I would like to hear WHY you think intelligence is or is not important in a partner.

I like blondes so intelligence is not important.

 

[Llauralin]

I like blondes so intelligence is not important.[/FONT][/SIZE]

*Groans*

That's quite some family you have, BTW!

 

[antiarte]

*Groans*

That's quite some family you have, BTW!

I used to be a Mormon. They're all almost the same age.

 

[Llauralin]

Just when I had begun hoping that blond jokes had quietly dissapeared...

The groan was that I'm strawberry blond, so I always get the blond comments, and the redhead ones - it's highly annoyiing.

 

[antiarte]

Just when I had begun hoping that blond jokes had quietly dissapeared...

Eh, don't listen to me. I love stereotyping.

The groan was that I'm strawberry blond, so I always get the blond comments, and the redhead ones - it's highly annoyiing.

Strawberry blonde? Well, as Paris Hilton would say, "that's hot".

 

[Dragoon]

"If you wish to converse with me, define your terms." -- Voltaire


I find most of the discussions here--never mind the topic--to be extremely frustrating.

Intelligence, as I understand it, is a trait that one is born with. It is not learned.

Yet, if someone brings up "intelligence" in this forum people respond by talking about things that are learned. Communication skills. Social skills. Sense of humor. An intellectual life. Knowledge. Etc. Etc.

Intelligence contributes to things like knowledge, of course. But one's intelligence is independent of knowledge. One can be extremely intelligent but at the same time be ignorant. Several years ago when it was reported that young people in so-called less-developed countries scored higher than Americans on certain tests, a newspaper commentary that I read said, if I recall correctly, something to the effect of, "We are getting sharper, but more ignorant". In other words, a case could be made that while the intelligence of individuals' in populations has increased relative to earlier generations, individuals' knowledge has not--and individuals' knowledge may have even decreased relative to earlier generations. If I recall correctly, the author's thesis was that the American public should not be alarmed if people on other continents are demonstrating that they have sharper minds than Americans. What we should really be concerned about, the author seemed to be saying, is knowledge and ignorance.

I seriously doubt that when people come to Singles Ministry Forum and talk about "intelligence" in a dating/marriage partner that they are thinking of the capacity and ability to process information. If that is what they mean then they should consider dating/marrying a computer or a robot.

I am sure that it is safe to say that by "intelligence" people mean things like:


1.) Knowledge.

2.) Values and attitudes with respect to learning and thinking.

3.) Learned and/or developed skills such as literacy and speech.

4.) Wisdom.

5.) Etc.


It would be nice, however, if people would recognize that intelligence is independent of those things. It would be refreshing if people would not bring up "intelligence" when it is not what they really mean.

Of course, people could really mean intelligence. In that case they would probably be better off searching for a powerful computer or robot to date/marry.

Saying that intelligence is "attractive" is like saying that motor skills are "attractive".

Yeah, intelligence is important in a dating/marriage relationship. But what is really attractive is what a woman does with her intelligence, whatever form and degree of it she has.

Very smart post.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

I like blondes so intelligence is not important.[/FONT][/SIZE]

not all blondes are dumb

 

[Mandrake]

I'd like to note that people lacking motor skills aren't really my cup of tea either.