debilitating fear

[Shane Roach]

it leaves me hopeful i guess. hopeful for the first time in a long time. finding this counselor is a light a floatation ring tossed into my sea of frustration and despair.

i am thinking that the more i continue to tell myself what you and others on cf have been telling me (i'm somebody...i am not accountable to my parents...i'm not slave to my past...i'm free to do what i want...etc.) and as long as this counseling works out i think i'll be well on my way.

mmm, thanks for listening.

Anytime! I wanted to check and see how ya were.

Hopefully maybe I can hear how your counseling goes later on. On the other hand, don't want to be TOO nosy. Just hope it helps a lot a lot!

 

[eccl12.13]

You are on the right track.

Reconnecting your mind with the rest of you will take time. Recognise, that when you begin to do this lot of past but supressed hurt will surface too.

mmm, thanks for the warning. I know i had a lot of anger and animosity and bitterness toward those who hurt me just after i moved out.

Theer is a great verse in Proverbs. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a well of life. As you begin to participate in life, to take part in things you really want to do and enjoy you will come alive in new ways.

yeah, i've been starting to experience that and it feels sooooo awesome! little things that are so minute and seemingly insignificant just make me soar sometimes.

Learn to talk about feelings, and to hug other people who are safe. Quietly acknowledge that God loves you. Look at nature, and take in its beauty and wonder. Feel the wind, walk in the rain, smell flowers, appreciate the beauty and delicacy of flowers.

this is something i'm still working on ... but at least i'm working on it.

 

[eccl12.13]

Anytime! I wanted to check and see how ya were.

Hopefully maybe I can hear how your counseling goes later on. On the other hand, don't want to be TOO nosy. Just hope it helps a lot a lot!

thanks for checking back. i'll be sure to let you know how things go with my counselor....tomorrow i am calling to schedule the session. i was just telling my husband that i'm sooo psyched about getting together with her and finding the help to work this stuff out.

too nosey? achk! lol, no worries....

 

[Shane Roach]

*smiling*

I'm happy for you! I guess I hope you can ride a wave of positive emotion and anticipation of progress for a while. Don't ever get where you feel pressured though to put on a false positive face. It's only happy if it's REAL, actual happy!

 

[eccl12.13]

heggghhhh, no kidding....no worries about false positive fronts. i'll be honest and tell you and everyone else that i'm really sinking all of a sudden. for the counselor next week i have to get some of my childhood story together and so i've been doing a lot of reminiscing about all those years. blah! i am getting depressed and all the anger and animosity i thought i'd dealt with is making a strong return.

but i still see hope, so i guess it's not all bad. if i can do this with the counselor and get this stuff worked out, i can start getting better. i guess it's kinda like a giant ditch i have to get through before proceeding toward the horizon.

sigh.

 

[Shane Roach]

heggghhhh, no kidding....no worries about false positive fronts. i'll be honest and tell you and everyone else that i'm really sinking all of a sudden. for the counselor next week i have to get some of my childhood story together and so i've been doing a lot of reminiscing about all those years. blah! i am getting depressed and all the anger and animosity i thought i'd dealt with is making a strong return.

but i still see hope, so i guess it's not all bad. if i can do this with the counselor and get this stuff worked out, i can start getting better. i guess it's kinda like a giant ditch i have to get through before proceeding toward the horizon.

sigh.

Yeah... I mean, all the advice I give around here and then some days I wake up and it is all right back to ground zero. What you may learn to do with your counselor is to sort of train yourself to remember the road back from that bad place. Sometimes I forget. Just a few weeks ago I was really at zero, and I just totally had lost track of my freedom, of all the things in my life that I HAD chosen, and the lessons I had learned and so forth.

So it's okay, you know? You will get better and better, and there are always people who care about you, and just hang in there, and I SO look forward to seeing what you learn your first session. I will pray now, and bless your heart!!!

Shaney

 

[eccl12.13]

thanks

 

[eccl12.13]

today i met with my new counselor for the second time. i guess it's time for an update....really she has just been helping me put the issues out on the table and then take a step back and look at things from God's perspective. She's given me some homework assignments that are already beginning to help me open up with my husband and to just relax and be myself. also she has given me some worksheets and things to consider regarding forgiving, forgetting and learning how not to emulate my parents' mistakes.

so all in all i'm very psyched at the progress being made in only one week. god is too good. for a while now i've been walking away from him, i guess, and now that he's really just put so many things together for me....well, i feel so hungry for "us" again. so i'm in the process of dealing with that issue, too.

there you have it in a few short words. thanks for all the previous correspondence.

~eccl12.13

 

[eccl12.13]

'nother update.

We first went through the list and dealt with each of the things in my personal life that have been barriers to my progression. We are now focussing mainly on mine and my husband's marriage; what I can contribute to it, how I can continue to become more open and how I can respond to the challenges he faces regarding his set of issues.

All in all it has taken a surprisingly short amount of time to work through my "debilitating" issues with my counselor. When I told her about the fears I had she just thought for two seconds and then said you need to do this and this and this....when I started doing it the fear started to disappear! Just like that.

Anyways, so I guess things are getting better.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

That's great. Praised be God!

May God give you strength to solve everything and put all your fears behind you.

 

[eccl12.13]

That's great. Praised be God!

May God give you strength to solve everything and put all your fears behind you.

thanks

 

[covenantwmn]

We are the sum total of our experiences. The Good news is we get NOW to have some choice in what we experience.

Moved out, got a job, going to school......That's a full plate, add married, even fuller plate.

I think some level of stress in your situation would be perfectly normal. You seem to be doing REALLY WELL-all things considered, all you need is a few coping skills.

Find things that are portable that you can do on the go-

1) motivational tapes (DO THEM YOURSELF, fill w/ your fav. quotes, scriptures, etc.

2) Music--find some that you find relaxing.

3) Affirmations- same as no 1 only have em handy and say them to yourself. BUT TELL yourself you are somebody, that you are a child of the most High God and thereby special. That God has a plan for you and you must endeavor to do the footwork so that you will be properly trained once you reach your destination.

You are the Head not the tail.. you are Blessed and highly favored, blessed coming in and blessed going out.

GET THE IDEA?



4) Prayer--Try the Serenity Prayer if you are stressed.

5) My God is a Big God---He is Big enough to take care of little old you.

Prayers and Hugs... Try it, what do you have to loose?

Great advice! Blessings on you.