Calling all Christians with Aspergers Syndrome ...

[Machiavelli]

Hi, I'm David. As the title suggests I'm a Christian, and I also have Aspergers' Syndrome. I tend to think that this doesn't make my faith particularly easy.

For those of you who don't know, Aspergers is a mild variant of Autism, a condition which can affect one's capacity to effectively relate with other people. Generally speaking, it's hard to read non-verbal cues, and to feel empathy for the perspectives and feelings of other people.

Recently, I made the conscious discovery that I don't experience God in the way that most people do. While people can feel God's awesome presence and majesty, I don't know what that's like. I just don't feel it. Most of the time when I'm praying, I don't really feel the sensation of communicating with someone else. I'm talking, and that's it.

Perhaps some of you may be led to believe that I don't experience an authentic faith, but merely an intellectual understanding of the gospel. But it's not like that at all. The thing is I do have a relationship with God. I pray, and I can observe His influence in my life. I can observe Him answering my prayers. And while I feel awkward when others get lovey-dovey about their God, using and experiencing superlatives about his character, I do know that He is the Creator, and while I don't necessarily feel it - this is something which must make him awesome. I'm not sure I ever feel forgiven by God, but I do know that His word tells me that I will be forgiven if I confess my sins to Him.

Perhaps some of you may see the faith described above as one which is dry, and without much substance. Trust me, I wish I could feel the way that other people feel too. I experience this same dryness in my relationships with other people. Because of my Aspergers, I don't really think I've ever really felt gratitude for other people's actions. I simply know that they have acted in a selfless manner for my benefit, and that is something which deserved gratitude. It's the same thing with my faith. My faith is not intellectual - it's simply that I process my relationship with God on an intellectual level.

I was just wondering, are there any Christians who have Aspergers out there? Our even people who experience God the same way that I do?

 

[EmSchmem]

While I don't have AS my BIL does. I would say he experiences a lot of the same things. We have seen him have a lot of victory and growth since he changed groups in church. he is now in a college aged group who is committed to working with him. It's bee pretty cool to see!

 

[Pena]

Hey I know your comments are a few years old. But I really relate to what you say and to be honest I don't like labels so I do not want to be diagnosed with anything.
I over analyse and I love to get to the logical conclusion of things and therefore having something in my life such as a faith that I can't rationalise is actually quite difficult for me but I actually believe that it has helped me relate to other people in a way that I found impossible before. The meaning of Spirit filled context of the Bible is hard work but it does make me aware of how others might feel - take the Psalms for example while I don't empathise with the Anguish of some of the chapters - by reading it and having the concept explained in detail at church on a regular basis I am much more aware of that emotion than I was before - I have also been able to build good friendships because if I read the situation wrongly people are patient and forgiving with me and of course over the years I have become more accepting of my limitations (imperfections) and I am confident of God's love so if I am having difficulty with my non-christian friends I am bold enough to explain my social weaknesses and the good ones are actually also a bit more patient with me.
So personally Christianity has made me strong through my weaknesses - I am happily married, have children and enjoy my career in technology and science. To top if all off I have a faith in God and I experience my own type of joy and hope through being a Christian.

 

[heron]

David, thank you for explaining what you go through, so people will know. There are undiagnosed people out there, and people may tell them this or that about what Christian life should be like.

I know a few people with Asperger's, and they function so well that even some of their close friends don't know.

 

[Pena]

Oh I just want to clarify something regarding my post. I do still feel emotions and sometimes deep emotions so when I say I don't empathise with Anguish I am saying I don't necessarily empathise with the emotion when other people might think it is appropriate to do so.
Actually other people (including hubbie) find it quite amusing to see what makes me emotional as it is can be an emotional response they would not normally have. Oh and other times I feel the emotion but I find it hard to express it to others - however I have been blessed with an ability to play a musical instrument and that is a great alternative form of emotional expression for me.

 

[Peripatetic]

My 12 year old son has Autism, and he too does not "feel God's awesome presence and majesty" as David said. But he worships God in his own way. For him, worship is more structured... part of the routine of his week. We attend a Catholic mass, and he follows along the whole time in the book. I also do a Bible study with my kids during the week, and he follows along the best way that he can. He doesn't get all the subtleties that my daughter doses, but he has a pretty decent foundation, considering how hard it is for Autistic people to understand the abstract. He even makes up his own prayers at dinner (very cute and sincere, but others would think it sounded awkward). Bottom line: people who are wired a little differently can still have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of them... even if their worship style is a bit different.

 

[TR23]

I've been diagnosed with aspergers.
I never realized how differently I related to the world until then, and never considered the effect it had on my faith until today.
Now I see parallels with your experience.
But there is hope.
The good news is that I did learn to feel the awesomness of god, just as one learns to eventually empathize with others or experience a broader range of feelings. I still am not someone you'll see in church waving their hands and shouting praises with tears, but I can now understand better what they feel. When I am feeling god I will probably just be staring off into the distance lost in my own thoughts.
You aren't condemned to be completely emotionally detached from everything forever.

I feel two kinds of things I eventually learned to identify with the spirit. One is a wave of tingling, like cool fire, that comes over me when I experience something particularly inspirational usually in terms of art or spiritual revelation. It touches and lightens what is normally an emotional deadness. The awesomeness of the inspiration, or the way it moves my soul, often seems to reflect the awesomeness of god.
This kind of feeling is something I think I was helped in cultivating because I was able to find an inspirational emotional connection in art, music, film, etc. Mostly music, second certain kinds of film/animation/games. Also amazing scenery or other impressive sights can grip me in such awe that I am sad at the idea that such a feeling is fleeting and cannot be stored and shared, but at best one might try to recommunicate it through art of their own. Actually now that I think abuot it I might be feeling a discomfort at being unable to fully appreciate the emotional impact due to the aspergers, or being unable to fully express or understand it. But it is there nonetheless. Connecting with that inspiration, as I believe art and appreciation of beauty must come from the spirit, I believe may have helped me connect with feeling the spirit for other things.

The other is what I think people call the peace of god. Where I don't have to fear, where I have contentment, and desire only what god wants. As someone wracked with anxiety and fear as the norm, it is much more rare to come across and I am trying to cultivate it further. It is something I get the more I understand the truth of the word, as opposed to being based in emotional highs.

Faith probably comes easier to people who have a wide emotional range and understanding of their emotions, able to feel and discern the spiritual.
I've always tried to intellectualize my faith to find what path makes the most sense, which is why I started out athiest, moved to agnostic, moved to a seeker of many religions, and eventually started to wrestle with the idea of whether or not christ could be the one and only path as he said (which I now believe is most likely based on feeling as opposed to logic, but am still left trying to intellectualize it instead of going forward with unquestioned faith), but eventually my focus became more on seeking peace which got me more in tune with trying to listen to intuition, feeling, pinpointing those periods of peace to figure out how my thoughts/actions had changed during those times to duplicate it.

I still have trouble empathizing with how others think, and rarely get emotional reactions from other people's pain, but it's not a static thing. It improves over time.

 

[mooncougar13]

I was just wondering, are there any Christians who have Aspergers out there? Our even people who experience God the same way that I do?

finally! NOW i understand whats going on with me! thanks, dude, seriously!

 

[Aspie Christian]

[omitted]

 

[rachel_519]

Hi, I suspect that I may have asperger's, but I have not been diagnosed. I actually have my first ever counseling appointment tomorrow. Either way, I totally understand what you are talking about. For years I have been confused about how people can feel God's presence and hear Him speaking to them. I kind of thought they were talking about it figuratively, but lately I have begun to realize they are not- some people really can perceive God's presence and voice. This often led me to questions both God's existence and my own faith. I thought maybe I was praying and worshiping the wrong way and that was why I couldn't feel Him. Now I realize the disconnect is in my brain, not my spirit. I experience God the same way I experience all people, from an emotional distance. I still pray that I will unmistakably hear or feel Him someday, in some situation; I know I will hear and see Him in Heaven if nothing else. Until then, I look for signs of His presence and His will in the Bible and in the world around me.

Does anyone have any advice on staying motivated for prayer and Bible study? I have always had problems with prayer, just like I have problems talking to people. For a few years, I was really regular about daily Bible studies, but it became a legalistic habit and got boring. Now I am having a hard time getting going again.

 

[Pal Handy]

Hi, I'm David. As the title suggests I'm a Christian, and I also have Aspergers' Syndrome. I tend to think that this doesn't make my faith particularly easy.

For those of you who don't know, Aspergers is a mild variant of Autism, a condition which can affect one's capacity to effectively relate with other people. Generally speaking, it's hard to read non-verbal cues, and to feel empathy for the perspectives and feelings of other people.

Recently, I made the conscious discovery that I don't experience God in the way that most people do. While people can feel God's awesome presence and majesty, I don't know what that's like. I just don't feel it. Most of the time when I'm praying, I don't really feel the sensation of communicating with someone else. I'm talking, and that's it.

Perhaps some of you may be led to believe that I don't experience an authentic faith, but merely an intellectual understanding of the gospel. But it's not like that at all. The thing is I do have a relationship with God. I pray, and I can observe His influence in my life. I can observe Him answering my prayers. And while I feel awkward when others get lovey-dovey about their God, using and experiencing superlatives about his character, I do know that He is the Creator, and while I don't necessarily feel it - this is something which must make him awesome. I'm not sure I ever feel forgiven by God, but I do know that His word tells me that I will be forgiven if I confess my sins to Him.

Perhaps some of you may see the faith described above as one which is dry, and without much substance. Trust me, I wish I could feel the way that other people feel too. I experience this same dryness in my relationships with other people. Because of my Aspergers, I don't really think I've ever really felt gratitude for other people's actions. I simply know that they have acted in a selfless manner for my benefit, and that is something which deserved gratitude. It's the same thing with my faith. My faith is not intellectual - it's simply that I process my relationship with God on an intellectual level.

I was just wondering, are there any Christians who have Aspergers out there? Our even people who experience God the same way that I do?

Love is not a feeling or an emotion but a commitment.

Feelings can be misleading and can also be based on lies
or emotions that have no basis in reality or truth.

Perhaps you are better off than many who base their walk
with God on how they "feel" at the moment rather than the
truth of God's love and commitment to us based
on the will and character of God and not a fickle response
of emotions or feelings.

The love of God goes beyond any feeling or emotion and is based in the
absolute commitment of God's choice to love us no matter how we
respond to Him or what we can offer to Him or withhold.

Perhaps you are in a better position to love God back as He loves you,
not based on feelings and emotions but on commitment and truth.

Perhaps your non emotional response to God is more mature and
steadfast than those of us who respond to God out of our feelings
and emotional state.

Perhaps your faith is more steadfast because feelings or emotion do not hamper
your acknowledgement of God's love, commitment toward
you and His truth of who He is as He reveals Himself to you
in very real and personal ways in your life and circumstances.

I am becoming more aware of my need to be unemotional and
to base my reactions to God on the pure truth of God's devotion
and fidelity toward me that is constant and ever true in the face
of my illogical emotional reactions and feelings that arrise when
situations challenge my faith.

Don't confuse faith with emotion or feelings because faith is beyond
them both and is in reality the trustworthiness of God's character as
He has proven beyond all doubt that He is not a liar and that
He can be trusted absolutely.
Faith is nothing more than our realization that God is true....

 

[hedrick]

There's a specific group here for autism and Asperger's. You'll find a number of people with Asperger's there. Look in the "Mental Health" section of "Recovery."

As you'll see from previous responses in this thread, I don't think your experience is unique to Asperger's. Christianity isn't necessarily a matter of feelings.

In the Reformed tradition, God is thought to communicate primarily through Scripture. Some people may feel a more direct inspiration, but the results need to be checked carefully against Scripture. It's easy to confuse your own thoughts with the Spirit if you aren't careful. And not everyone feels that kind of direct experience anyway.

The Bible doesn't actually talk that much about what we'd call religious experience. The OT is concerned primarily with how we behave. Even Jesus is primarily concerned with love for God and our fellows (by which he seems to be loving behavior more than love as an emotion), and with obedience, but not with inspirational feelings. Paul's letters show signs of something more like a charismatic experience, but he has distinctly mixed feelings about it.

I pray because experience shows that my life starts showing problems when I don't. But I can understand reacting against a legalistic habit. There are different ways to do Bible reading and prayer. You might try different approaches from time to time. You might also try working with a group or even a partner. Maybe using online interaction if that's more comfortable for you.

 

[JesusFreak2011]

Hi David. I am also a Christian with Aspergers. I am starting to understand that my relationship with God is different than other people's. After all, we have difficulty relating to people, so why wouldn't we sometimes struggle with relating to God. Don't let the world's description of Asperger's Syndrome define who you are. Most of the people who write about it do not even know what it is like, and I'm finding many are not even correct about why I do things.

Our emotions are there, we just process them differently. We process them intellectually rather than some other type of processing other people have. That means we need to be aware of them and really work to realize what they are and why we feel them. The times I feel God the most is in worship. I don't know what type of church you go to but I really enjoy a dynamic contemporary rock type of worship. Read the words, Sing praises, raise your hands, and follow in your heart and see if that helps you feel His presence. Maybe check out bands like the Newsboys, Chris Tomlin, etc. Outside of that I really need to spend quiet time processing His Word. He speaks to me through the Bible and I speak to Him in Prayer. At times it can feel dry, but that's because I let it get that way rather than submitting to the Holy Spirit.

Keep in mind His Truth that while you and I made be made differently, it is in the image and likeness of God (Gen 1:26).

 

[keelercd]

rachel 519 I am currently and I believe that I am dealing with and dating a man who has aspergers. I wondered so many times about certain things, concerning how he feels and see God. I know that he never says- you look nice but I know that he does not mean it but its also nice because he is not shallow. One thing I will say is that if you marry or date a neurotypical adult- know that you may have to retrain your brain on certain things, a good book to read is the Journal of the best practices by David Finch. When he faced problems in his marriage; he took a step back and said to himself " how can I relate to my neurotypical wife!" he was diagnosed later in his life by his wife actually and a evaluation test. I say this because I know my sweetie heart and I know that God speakes to him differently. I know that on the outside you may not show how you feel as well as others would like but I know that Christ is present in your heart and soul, not in your brain! I love to learn and become your friend and understand what you go through- so that I too will learn more about Aspergers.

 

[parsley]

Welcome here, Keelercd and (a year ago) David! Thank you for the input, recommending the book and describing your situation.

There are so many people dealing with different-than-expected things, that it's hard to hear certain church people insistent on doing things a certain way. Who knows, maybe the insistent ones have ailments of their own.

We need regular reminders that we are all going through different things. People say a lot without thinking. "Your son should to to youth group even though he doesn't like peppy activities," or "We're moving the meeting upstairs" when there are members with emphysema or mobility problems, or "Anyone who wants to serve in leadership must attend every Sunday," when there are nurses, waiters, and other types of workers who need to work on Sunday to stay employed.

Don't let the world's description of Asperger's Syndrome define who you are. Most of the people who write about it do not even know what it is like, and I'm finding many are not even correct about why I do things.

If you're still around the forum, feel free to post some of this on the thread... keep it going so others can learn from it.

 

[Core90]

I have a cousin with Asperger's Syndrome that I'm pretty close too. He has improved a ton with social situations, driving, and living on his own (kind of, he has an apartment connected to his parent's house, but he's considering looking for another one). Going to groups that allowed him to hang out with other people with Asperger's helped him alot.

As for the faith struggle, you pretty much described my relationship with God to a T. I have a porn addiction as well, and assume that because of that, God ignores me, and I am not forgiven. God can do no wrong, so it must be me, right?

My best friend has Bipolar, and he and his Mom think that I probably have an undiagnosed mental disorder.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

Hi, I'm David. As the title suggests I'm a Christian, and I also have Aspergers' Syndrome. I tend to think that this doesn't make my faith particularly easy.

For those of you who don't know, Aspergers is a mild variant of Autism, a condition which can affect one's capacity to effectively relate with other people. Generally speaking, it's hard to read non-verbal cues, and to feel empathy for the perspectives and feelings of other people.

Recently, I made the conscious discovery that I don't experience God in the way that most people do. While people can feel God's awesome presence and majesty, I don't know what that's like. I just don't feel it. Most of the time when I'm praying, I don't really feel the sensation of communicating with someone else. I'm talking, and that's it.

Perhaps some of you may be led to believe that I don't experience an authentic faith, but merely an intellectual understanding of the gospel. But it's not like that at all. The thing is I do have a relationship with God. I pray, and I can observe His influence in my life. I can observe Him answering my prayers. And while I feel awkward when others get lovey-dovey about their God, using and experiencing superlatives about his character, I do know that He is the Creator, and while I don't necessarily feel it - this is something which must make him awesome. I'm not sure I ever feel forgiven by God, but I do know that His word tells me that I will be forgiven if I confess my sins to Him.

Perhaps some of you may see the faith described above as one which is dry, and without much substance. Trust me, I wish I could feel the way that other people feel too. I experience this same dryness in my relationships with other people. Because of my Aspergers, I don't really think I've ever really felt gratitude for other people's actions. I simply know that they have acted in a selfless manner for my benefit, and that is something which deserved gratitude. It's the same thing with my faith. My faith is not intellectual - it's simply that I process my relationship with God on an intellectual level.

I was just wondering, are there any Christians who have Aspergers out there? Our even people who experience God the same way that I do?

it's amazing to me how the medical industry can come up with a name for any behavior that they consider to be divergent from the norm or average of what they observe across society (most of which are lost btw). you're a new creature in Christ, and by His stripes you were healed - but your words have great power in your life; in many cases more power than God's words have in your life as He has given you free will - my advice is to stop claiming this or any other undesirable condition - your faith will make you whole.

many people base their faith on their emotions, but True faith is based on a belief or better said commitment that God's integrity is absolutely perfect and what he says is true because He said it; so the fact that you don't react the way the many others do may well mean that you're faith is the genuine article. it was many years after i became a Christian before i had an emotional experience with God that brought me to tears of joy, and i'm grateful for this as emotions are an unreliable standard to measure Truth against. trust God, believe Him, let His word divide between what's ture and what's false; and don't claim what Jesus took stripes to deliver you from.

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

I don't have Asperger's, and I can't relate to the unique relationship you have with God, but I can tell you something. God created you. He KNOWS you have Asperger's. He knows your difficulties with communicating, socializing, connecting, etc. He understands. He looks past all of that. He loves you as you are, Asperger's and all, and His grace is greater than your condition. One of my favorite Bible verses says that God "remembers" that we're made of dust - He isn't shocked, surprised, horrified, or disappointed when we're flawed. He already knew it before we were born, and He loves us anyway. God can reach you in His own way, a way that is just between you and Him. There is no disease or sickness or handicap that He can't overcome.

 

[Peripatetic]

it's amazing to me how the medical industry can come up with a name for any behavior that they consider to be divergent from the norm or average of what they observe across society (most of which are lost btw).
...
many people base their faith on their emotions, but True faith is based on a belief or better said commitment that God's integrity is absolutely perfect and what he says is true because He said it

It's important to understand the distinction between "emotions" and actual differences in the way the brain processes information. My autistic son does not understand abstract concepts the way you and I do. He's in High School now, and does well in concrete things like Biology and standard Math, but he has almost no ability to understand the meaning of a story or what happened in American History. The school system actually took him out of History altogether because it wasn't connecting with him in any way shape or form. Is that because he doesn't have enough "faith" in history?

I've taught my son the basics of Christianity the best ways that I know how, and I do believe that the Holy Spirit is within him. But I can assure you that conditions of the brain on the Autism spectrum are not simply some emotional weakness or sinful state of mind.

 

[stormdancer0]

My teenaged son has Aspergers. I worry some times about all this, but I know he understands God and scripture better than I do sometimes, as well. I trust God to take care of it. I don't know what else to do.