Yea I made a mistake, while all along I had this feeling...
It's funny how one's mind can run away, into all kinds of "what ifs"
Then I was proven wrong...it never felt so good to be proven wrong
I don't know when the last time was someone said, please, to me
I mean to have someone want something from you, and to say that - in a nice way...interesting feeling
yea people "want" whatever all the time, but then I get intimidation, bullying, manipulation, demands, or at best nagging.
I heard the other week this song playing in some store- it was from my childhood. Then it took awhile to get it out of my mind: "Cruel to be kind", I know some people are like that (how it goes in the song & that phrase.
But now it's like the opposite, like that expression killing with kindness... well that's about how I feel right now- I am down- like mush, like a melted crayon. Wax can seem all stiff but it doesn't take much to melt it.
I like this feeling but it also feels dangerous, it's dangerous to feel vulnerable.
Then it comes to me, one (at least me) can't feel free to feel that way, unless you get the sense the other does as well. Some how it takes something out of it, if you feeel a certain way, yet you don't sense the other does as well.
Hmm (trying to figure myself out now) I can like someon or be interested in them without feeling like it should be mutual, but this emotionally vulnerable thing seems different.
So I let them in a bit about my personal thoughts with them, well see where that goes. Not in a direct way though. But in other words letting them know in a way that it mattered to me if they were bothered with me or not.
So what am I sensing- in the Spirit... if God is doing something, that is usually a sign of where things are supposed to go. I'm not getting that feeling of spending time together, doing activities- not now, maybe not yet.
We're communicating good...but it's like I want to know it all, all about them, everything...
It's like I getting the feeling of being like one of those people who run to the volcano before it goes off- while eveyone else is running in the other direction. Or like I want to jump into the eye of the storm, like those reporters we laughed at who were standing there in the middle of Katrina- and they had to grab onto something because they were about to be swept away. We're sitting there thinking, "what are these idiots doing?" Like can't you report from somewhere else?...
Well I have a lot to be grateful to God these days (God is always good, its just that there are times when we can see it clearer than others).
Hmm I think I'm getting something else too, I "feel"- (in the Spirit) this
thing I'll post it later- I wonder if they (or anyone else will know who it's for?)
Such a hunger for security & stabilty. I wonder why? I wonder what that's connected to...
It just came to me... if there is anyone else... that could get understand our joy about whats going on with our child- it would be them. Maybe another person could best understand (if anyone could) get an idea of what God has done in me through my getting saved...but this person in this regards to the other situation...
It's also came to me, it's like the Holy Spirit is saying to me-"Did you even stop to think, if God took it away, that God if He wanted to, could give it back.
Maybe it's just wishful/hopeful thinking but I sense something... maybe something is breaking- with them.
Oh now that would be something! The sky really would "be spitting open!!!"
not much into country
but this is one roots rock/country rock band that I liked.
"one who has been forgiven much loves much"
It's not about that one had to have done & been everything under the sun (or some one could have)
but it's that to whatever the degree of their own personal sin in their heart & life- they realize the depth of the blackness, evil & hopelessness of it. And once they receive the forgiveness of God they then can truely be grateful and thankful for that and that enables them to love more, and to know how much others need God's love & fogiveness- just like them
YouTube - Big Dismal - Just The Same
YouTube - Avalon - In Not Of
It's funny how one's mind can run away, into all kinds of "what ifs"
Then I was proven wrong...it never felt so good to be proven wrong
I don't know when the last time was someone said, please, to me
I mean to have someone want something from you, and to say that - in a nice way...interesting feeling
yea people "want" whatever all the time, but then I get intimidation, bullying, manipulation, demands, or at best nagging.
I heard the other week this song playing in some store- it was from my childhood. Then it took awhile to get it out of my mind: "Cruel to be kind", I know some people are like that (how it goes in the song & that phrase.
But now it's like the opposite, like that expression killing with kindness... well that's about how I feel right now- I am down- like mush, like a melted crayon. Wax can seem all stiff but it doesn't take much to melt it.
I like this feeling but it also feels dangerous, it's dangerous to feel vulnerable.
Then it comes to me, one (at least me) can't feel free to feel that way, unless you get the sense the other does as well. Some how it takes something out of it, if you feeel a certain way, yet you don't sense the other does as well.
Hmm (trying to figure myself out now) I can like someon or be interested in them without feeling like it should be mutual, but this emotionally vulnerable thing seems different.
So I let them in a bit about my personal thoughts with them, well see where that goes. Not in a direct way though. But in other words letting them know in a way that it mattered to me if they were bothered with me or not.
So what am I sensing- in the Spirit... if God is doing something, that is usually a sign of where things are supposed to go. I'm not getting that feeling of spending time together, doing activities- not now, maybe not yet.
We're communicating good...but it's like I want to know it all, all about them, everything...
It's like I getting the feeling of being like one of those people who run to the volcano before it goes off- while eveyone else is running in the other direction. Or like I want to jump into the eye of the storm, like those reporters we laughed at who were standing there in the middle of Katrina- and they had to grab onto something because they were about to be swept away. We're sitting there thinking, "what are these idiots doing?" Like can't you report from somewhere else?...
Well I have a lot to be grateful to God these days (God is always good, its just that there are times when we can see it clearer than others).
Hmm I think I'm getting something else too, I "feel"- (in the Spirit) this
thing I'll post it later- I wonder if they (or anyone else will know who it's for?)
Such a hunger for security & stabilty. I wonder why? I wonder what that's connected to...
It just came to me... if there is anyone else... that could get understand our joy about whats going on with our child- it would be them. Maybe another person could best understand (if anyone could) get an idea of what God has done in me through my getting saved...but this person in this regards to the other situation...
It's also came to me, it's like the Holy Spirit is saying to me-"Did you even stop to think, if God took it away, that God if He wanted to, could give it back.
Maybe it's just wishful/hopeful thinking but I sense something... maybe something is breaking- with them.
Oh now that would be something! The sky really would "be spitting open!!!"
not much into country
but this is one roots rock/country rock band that I liked.
"one who has been forgiven much loves much"
It's not about that one had to have done & been everything under the sun (or some one could have)
but it's that to whatever the degree of their own personal sin in their heart & life- they realize the depth of the blackness, evil & hopelessness of it. And once they receive the forgiveness of God they then can truely be grateful and thankful for that and that enables them to love more, and to know how much others need God's love & fogiveness- just like them
YouTube - Big Dismal - Just The Same
YouTube - Avalon - In Not Of
