What gospel are you spreading?

As Christians we might think we are spreading the Word of God. But are we in reality?
It's like we've added our own filter to the truth. Because to my mind "the truth" is meant to be inaccessible. No human being owns the whole truth. Even the Pope.
I think I'm spreading a kind of satirical half-hearted (if that) version. I don't fully believe in myself. I'm yet to see the full value of God's gift of life to me. Yes I am grateful for "life" but I don't understand the value of my talents. They are either very well-hidden or non-existent. Maybe God makes some of us short on earthly talent, so we will seek Him more desperately.
Hey I got a good deal. I know that. Not disabled and not born in Syria, Pakistan, North Korea(the list goes on). No reason to complain at all.
And what I fear is, that I am giving people who read my posts, confusion and another reason to doubt. I wish I could give them more reason to believe but I really need to express my doubts in writing. I'm writing for myself then, ultimately my own salvation.
I'm spreading the gospel of doubt and questioning. Some of that doubt is from sheer laziness I fear.