What Brings Joy
I do believe that Sin, is a way that I protect myself from the suffering of others. When things seem to be falling apart, a subjective experience, as well as a subjective judgment, I will react by becoming angry, even enraged, which is fueled by terror, but really fed by anxiety. Anxiety is a new friend, that I really only met a few years ago. It helps to know that I have deep anxiety, because it brings my anger, and fear, into perspective.
I want to control the world, and make it fit my needs, sort of like a one, or two-year-old. For my anger is more often than not a temper tantrum.
Healthy anger leads me to do something constructive. Anger, which flows from my ‘inner two old’, leads nowhere if given into. So for me to convert, is to keep my heart open, when I want to close it, and to leave everyone on the outside that causes me pain, or discomfort, or intends to demand my time. The death to self, at least for me, is to allow God’s grace to expand my heart……which brings me joy.-Br.MD
