To die a painful death or to suffer a painful disease and or accident. To become severely disabled.
Pain. That is what I'm afraid of. Afraid of physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual pain.
And yet I have to confront pain in order to grow.
To a lesser degree I fear humiliation, total loss of reputation. Guilty as charged. To be found guilty by God and the human race of an awful crime. Imagine being responsible for a murder, just to give an example. How much turmoil that would cause your mind!
I write these blogs openly. So you will know the whole BCP. Like any human being I am a mixture of good and bad traits. I guess I write this for myself. To confront my fear of what others think of me! My reputation on CF. How important is that , I ask myself?
Look at my phobias! Look how crazy I am! Look at these self-obsessed thoughts! Look how far I am from God sometimes! I'm a sinner. A bigger one than I thought I was.
How arrogant I can be. To dare look down on anyone else. What a huge ego I can have.
I pray for genuine humility. Not secular humility but one closer to the one Pope Francis is talking about. That man doesn't seem to have a fear of anything. What faith!
Pain. That is what I'm afraid of. Afraid of physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual pain.
And yet I have to confront pain in order to grow.
To a lesser degree I fear humiliation, total loss of reputation. Guilty as charged. To be found guilty by God and the human race of an awful crime. Imagine being responsible for a murder, just to give an example. How much turmoil that would cause your mind!
I write these blogs openly. So you will know the whole BCP. Like any human being I am a mixture of good and bad traits. I guess I write this for myself. To confront my fear of what others think of me! My reputation on CF. How important is that , I ask myself?
Look at my phobias! Look how crazy I am! Look at these self-obsessed thoughts! Look how far I am from God sometimes! I'm a sinner. A bigger one than I thought I was.
How arrogant I can be. To dare look down on anyone else. What a huge ego I can have.
I pray for genuine humility. Not secular humility but one closer to the one Pope Francis is talking about. That man doesn't seem to have a fear of anything. What faith!
