It has been a long difficult weekend, and now it's Monday and life feels like it's going back to normal. So what was so long and difficult about it? Well, let's go back to last weekend. Last weekend I ran out of my primidone as has happened countless times before. Like other times, I did not exactly rush out to pick up my refill. I took my last primidone on Sunday I think, or maybe it was Saturday... Anyway, it was Thursday and I still had not gotten my refill. Just kept forgetting or procrastinating. I was at work on Thursday and standing in the back room when all of a sudden I had deja vu. It was really intense! My attempt at pushing it to the back of my mind only seemed to make the sensation worse. Then I began to feel a little panicky. The room began to feel narrow and color was muted. Looking around to clear my mind only made me dizzy. I decided it was time to sit down, which I did. I hummed and looked around for a short time, and the seizure eventually went away, but it left me feeling very shaken. I had some amnesia and felt a little tired, but I stood up and continued working. Finished up at Walgreens and went to pick up the kids at their art class. Wouldn't you know, I forgot AGAIN to pick up my refill on the way home! Well, I think I learned my lesson. DON'T RUN OUT OF PRIMIDONE. At home I don't even remember what I was doing when I got really intense deja vu again. I again went and sat on the floor. I leaned back against the kitchen counters and fought with my whole mind to keep from slipping away. This time I was not successful. I woke up some time later in that same seated position, my glasses missing, and struggling to wake up. I was so tired! I knew within seconds what had happened. I'd just woken up from a tonic-clonic seizure. I wanted to stay there and sleep, but I knew I needed to wake up. I could hear my kids in the living room and did not want them to see me in this condition. How long I sat there gathering strength to rise, I do not know. It might have been 10 minutes. But I did it and was proud of myself even though I felt really scared and weak. I heard Kerstie coming into the kitchen and she asked me where are my glasses. I decided to be honest and tell her I'd just fainted and had lost my glasses. She was concerned but did not seem overly afraid. I found my glasses shorly thereafter lying on the kitchen floor and the bow broken off. I remembered my old pair in my drawer in my room, and the thought of walking allllll the way up there to get them was daunting! But somehow I did it! I just wanted to call Dan and have him home with me. I found the phone and gave it my darnedest attempt at dialing. For the life of me, I could not remember which numbers to dial and I kept having to start over. I asked Kerstie if she would call Dad for me, which she did. I told him what'd just happened and asked if he'd come home immediately, no, I did not need an ambulance, just needed someone to be with me. I sat on the couch and waited only a very short time for him to come home. He went and picked up my refill and for the rest of the evening I recovered on the couch, bucket by my side. I did toss cookies all the rest of the day, so I don't know how much of the drug actually got into my system. I was hungry and tried to eat, but nothing wanted to stay down of course. This just made me feel sicker. Brenda came and picked up my kids for me to keep them overnight and take them to their art class in the morning. I felt tired the next day again. Brenda had agreed to help me with my housework and she did, and I appreciated it so much! Friday I rested a lot and Dan took us all out to dinner at Heinemann's. I really just wanted to stay home because I was tired and depressed. It was good for me to get out though. Saturday was a better day. I went to Amerifest dress rehearsal and made it through that OK. Sunday was Amerifest. I had let Randy know what had happened to me so he could be aware and could pray for me. OH! The Wilsons came to town on Fri. Sat. and Sun. Mr. stayed with us on Fri. night and on Sat the kids came over. Sunday we all had fun at Amerifest together. Today is Monday and today I sat down with the kids and explained epilepsy to them and talked to them about what to do if they ever see me having a seizure. I am glad we had that talk. I should talk to others as well and inform them of first aid and precautions to take. Here's a rundown of injuries and pains: my legs (thighs) were very sore, I was very exhausted, banged my left elbow, got some very deep bruises in back of my right arm (triceps), blood spots in my left eye, and bit the right corner of my mouth. I took my glasses into Dean & Fletcher to see if there is some slim chance of repair. According to the man there there might be something that can be done, but the place that does repairs had already closed for the day. For something to hold me over I had him adjust these old glasses to a higher level of comfort. Hopefully I can get my nice glasses repaired.
And now life goes on. I am depressed and sad and feeling really frail right now. I don't like this feeling, but I know it will pass. I won't be driving for a week or 2, until I feel more like myself. I can already tell a difference between primidone and no primidone!
And now life goes on. I am depressed and sad and feeling really frail right now. I don't like this feeling, but I know it will pass. I won't be driving for a week or 2, until I feel more like myself. I can already tell a difference between primidone and no primidone!
