September 21st

Well, I'm pretty upset these days. I really think I'm going to hell. The voices in my head keep telling me to quit college. I feel like a really awful person.

The voices torture me all day long. Even the nice voice tortures me. I just feel like I'm doomed. The evil voice keeps saying I'm going to be in a coffin. He says that I'm going to be in a coffin forever and no one will know. He says that God will create a copy of me so that all the people who care about me will never know I'm gone. It's as if I will never even exist.

I talked with someone today about Christianity. He said that our sins are forgiven due to the gospel. However, I feel like I blew it. I feel like I had a chance at the gospel, but I didn't listen. The nice voice says "listen now." But I keep thinking that I blew it. I feel like it's too late.

Here is a Christian song I like.


They used to sing this song at Intervarsity, which I went to when I was an undergraduate. Those were better times. Now I'm miserable all day long. I feel like if I quit I will be in a coffin and if I don't quit I will be in a coffin. It feels like there is no way out.