Today was pretty rough. I got it somehow into my head that something bad is going to happen to me at the dentist, so I got voices in my head that told me "You better change your appointment time or else something bad might happen." So all day long I sat around the house trying to figure out what to do. One voice said to change the appointment date and another said that I will be doomed if I change the appointment date. So I spent a lot of today sitting around the house thinking to myself. My parents sympathized with me. They tried to get me to focus on something else. I finally started watching the baseball game and that got me to take my mind off the dentist. Then I took a shower and I'm about to cut my toenails.
My mom gave me three things to do today. Shower, take a walk, and clip your toenails. So I'm about to finish all three tasks. I also finished off Acts today. I liked Acts a lot. It's very much like the gospels because it was written by Luke. After I finished Acts I started reading Romans but I didn't finish it. I am very impressed by Saint Paul as a preacher. I think it's amazing that he went from persecuting the church to being one of its best preachers. Jesus must have known that he had a great preacher inside of him.
Anyway, the devil voice really laid into me today. He started telling me the same things he usually tells me. He usually tells me I'm just too horrible and I can never be forgiven. He says that because of you, everyone gets a free ride. He tells me "No one will go to hell forever but you. You're just that bad. Everyone else gets a free ride because of you. You're the worst." The devil voice usually calls me "Hitler" too. He says things like "You're Adolf Hitler bad!" He says I'm going to be in a coffin forever, and that is hell for me. "Into your coffin!" is what he says.
The nice voice says that isn't true though. He says, "If anyone is terrible, it's the devil, that's who. Not you. You're not Adolf Hitler!"
Here is a Christian song I like that I listen to sometimes when doing my homework.
So that was today. Tomorrow I'm going with my mom to church. I'm looking forward to it. I like church and it helps me feel better about my sins. I might be going to a baseball game for labor day, so I'm looking forward to that too.
Thank you to everyone who reads this and please pray for me. I would love it if I could someday live without hearing voices. I take a lot of medication, but it doesn't make them go away.
My mom gave me three things to do today. Shower, take a walk, and clip your toenails. So I'm about to finish all three tasks. I also finished off Acts today. I liked Acts a lot. It's very much like the gospels because it was written by Luke. After I finished Acts I started reading Romans but I didn't finish it. I am very impressed by Saint Paul as a preacher. I think it's amazing that he went from persecuting the church to being one of its best preachers. Jesus must have known that he had a great preacher inside of him.
Anyway, the devil voice really laid into me today. He started telling me the same things he usually tells me. He usually tells me I'm just too horrible and I can never be forgiven. He says that because of you, everyone gets a free ride. He tells me "No one will go to hell forever but you. You're just that bad. Everyone else gets a free ride because of you. You're the worst." The devil voice usually calls me "Hitler" too. He says things like "You're Adolf Hitler bad!" He says I'm going to be in a coffin forever, and that is hell for me. "Into your coffin!" is what he says.
The nice voice says that isn't true though. He says, "If anyone is terrible, it's the devil, that's who. Not you. You're not Adolf Hitler!"
Here is a Christian song I like that I listen to sometimes when doing my homework.
So that was today. Tomorrow I'm going with my mom to church. I'm looking forward to it. I like church and it helps me feel better about my sins. I might be going to a baseball game for labor day, so I'm looking forward to that too.
Thank you to everyone who reads this and please pray for me. I would love it if I could someday live without hearing voices. I take a lot of medication, but it doesn't make them go away.
