sept. 2005- little things that fit into the tiny cracks in your heart.

Well, let's just start out by saying that I have really really horrible self esteem. I'm just not pretty anyway and it doesn't make me feel all that great. I struggle greatly with it. This week was even more hidious b/c I broke out all on my face and I'm noticing more grey hair and I was just feeling generally ugly. Plus, something happened at work where I did a great job on something and it went unnoticed so I was feeling pretty bland. So, this afternoon I went to pray at a monastry that is here in my town. I'm not catholic, but it's just a pretty and peaceful place to go. I was praying and crying about some junk in my life and then I went to the bathrrom to go blow my nose so i wouldn't look like more of a freak. As I was coming out of the bathroom, there was a paper stuck to the inside door that looked yellowed and old like it had been there a long time. But it was the first time I had noticed it (and i've been there a lot) And the paper said: You are beautiful. Anyways if felt like God sent me a little tangible message that just fit into an empty place inside my heart. And it made me feel heard by Him for the first time in a long time.