burn out

I feel burned out. I feel like i'm ok and healthy, but broken at the same time. I'm so glad to be out of work for the summer, but it gives me too much time to think. I'm tired of giving and giving and giving to other people's children. I'm tired of caring about people who really don't care about me. I'm tired of trying to be friends with people who don't even know that much about me or try to and when i try to open up and let them in- it's not enough or i'm just foder for ridicule to them. Tommorrow i'm going to a quiet place just to pray and seek God's face. I don't like where i'm at; I don't know quite how i got here, but i want to move forward and out. Or at least recieve some inkling that i'm not here forever. I've been wasting a lot of time here this week. Mainly because, it's the first time in a long time where i've felt really free, i've been sick, and i just plain out didn't want to do anything. Last week i was in super hyper overdrive to get all my school things moved and now i'm just a sloth. Maybe i need a goal, i don't know. I don't like this new blog system. I want to see who's reading what i write, dang it!!! I'd rather see that here than on my homepage.