Conflict again. Everything was doing well & going fine until the very end of the service. Then I looked and in the flyer part that categorized the people supposedly according to gifts- there I was under all things- teaching???
Out of the 5-Fold that would be absolute last one I would place myself under. So I was hurt and cried. This week I had read this:
"Yet ye have not known Him, but I know Him and if I should say, I know Him not, I shall be a liar like unto you, but I know Him and keep His saying."
This verse doesn’t match exactly but the like the implication that if I deny something I know to be true- then it's like I'm lying. That reminds me of another verse a lot of people quote about- let God be true and every man a liar. So if what I believe about various experiences is true, then others (though not purposely) are trying to turn the truth into a lie, undermining what God purposed, and implying God is a liar (if my perspective is indeed true.
There's another verse that says- "the gifts & calling of God are without repentance. Amen, so be it- let these things speak for themselves what God had done (or not, I'm not scared).
One example came up recently, a couple weeks ago, I was going to write about it...
I went to the library to do something because my internet temporarily wasn't working at home. So I did that and then went to check the kids book section. I didn't have any people in my mind at that time- just pretty goal oriented- get this done, check, that done etc.. So I got a couple books and headed to the check out. It was like in a movie (like many of those moments often are ) I walked out of the row and looked up and boom it was so and so, our eyes met instantly. They locked and recognized, lol there was no where to turn, no going back. I have to give the background, this was one of those people that God supernaturally led me to talk to, no let me rephrase that not just "talk to" but witness to\build a relationship "in the spirit". So if there was a connection in the spirit, obviously it was God that did it by His Holy Spirit- or through a gift of the Spirit. So I "did my thing" lol or rather God did what He does, the way He moves through me different times.
I remember originally there doing whatever practical thing- getting stuff for the kids. They were doing the check out (video) we might have made chit chat over the videos, and then "it" happened. I got those feelings in my gut, where something hits me. I sense this weighty sense of something. So after that prayed for them, I would go back there with purpose, tried to mention what I felt God was saying or talk in the direction I felt God wanted it to go. They shared quite a bit of personal\private detail with me- though they seemed like a private controlled type person. I invited them a couple times to church, gave them flyers. Then at one point there was a certain meeting we talked about, and I can't remember now if they had said maybe they'd look into it- or not. In any case when they didn't make an appearance, I felt something about that-sad disappointed? In any case whether it was God or my flesh, at that point I felt I did what I was supposed to, and I didn't want to go over there and see them anymore, so then I purposely avoided them. I'd ask my husband to go, if I wanted something there. That's a whole other issue, if it's an issue of mine. But I do struggle with that point- often if a cutting off is out of me or God. It could be me or me sometimes, or God (like of course He does a have timing when something is over), or it's God but I question myself and wonder if it's just of me- because I feel guilty or something like that.
It was kind of like Samuel & Saul, where after Samuels last word to Saul and Saul didn't take heed- it says Samuel never went back to Saul (to see him) ever again until Saul’s death.
So fast forward, ha thinking now, it must of have been God because after all that time being conscious of that situation, this time it didn't enter my mind that they might be there. So after the eye lock, what could I do? I'm not good at being rude and cutting things off, my way of being rude at times- is avoiding someone, to never have it come to that point. So of course I have to be cordial. Surprise though, they seemed eager to talk. So not only did they know and remember me instantly, they were talking freely. They could have acted like they didn't know me (since in the natural it wasn't like were best friends for yrs. or anything) could have just said hi or kept it at brief distant small talk.
Well we were talking and it came out that I told her we left that one church and went to another after that. Then we got into talking about that church was the one her sister has been going to. In fact, she's the head of the one ministry I wanted to\was about to get involved with. Among other things they shared something on their thoughts of them & God. And then I felt God give me word for them (actually that one came very flowing, it was nice when I'm ready to flow w\ the Spirit like that). So then I think I went to look quick for another book or like wandered around for a couple minutes. Then I was going to the check out (again) and there was no one else to help me, so she had to come up to the counter. Then it came to me to ask how long her sister had been there. She told me her sister was the one that started that ministry, after she first started going. The ministry is a "rehab" one to help women who want to get off drugs\alcohol and are willing to hear about God at the same time. I found that very interesting. We talked a bit more and I exited "fine" lol meaning no conflict uncomfortableness etc.. Then it came to me as I was leaving the building, what year was that (something I'm not so good at figuring out)? So I had to ask my husband, and it was as I thought, the two happenings were at the same time. At around the same time her sister was starting that ministry is when I was talking to her. So like her sister gets saved I take it (can't remember if she said that fact or not- got to have my hubby remind me) off of some substance as well, maybe one of the worst case scenarios. And God has her sister going to this church and get them into having a rehab outreach. I'm sure all the while (as it usually goes) she was probably praying for her sister's salvation, witnessing to her, inviting her to church. And this was all going one behind the scenes, in another part of the city. And while the Christian sister was praying for her sibling, God hears that and sends someone else (me) to back that up. Ha and I bet she thought she was safe, far away from her sister, on her job. Then here I come, a total stranger saying the same stuff about God, and even inviting her to a church that specializes in helping those with addictions (and also gang bangers, criminal types, and those from off the street). Ha God does things so cool, and He knows-even when we don't.
I thought it reaching at the time to invite her there because she seemed super responsible, controlled and not with any kind of matching background at all. I think, knowing what I know NOW- I think God did it this way to remind her about her sister- remind her what her sister came out of, the change she wished she could deny... and also to show her look it's not just about her sister like it's just her "sisters thing" that she found religion...'cause now somebody who doesn't even know her sister is also talking to her about God. I was even more amazed when I learned of the other side, how it's soo about more than just us and our little world. God has plans purposes and things going on that our little human brains don't grasp or catch on to (without His help). Wow. How much of this goes on every day, all around us? I'm sure plenty, but me at least, can get so distracted, and "lose touch with reality"- lol the real reality!
So one small example, but one none the less, hmm does that sound like how a teacher does things, how God "operates" through that gifting ?
Out of the 5-Fold that would be absolute last one I would place myself under. So I was hurt and cried. This week I had read this:
"Yet ye have not known Him, but I know Him and if I should say, I know Him not, I shall be a liar like unto you, but I know Him and keep His saying."
This verse doesn’t match exactly but the like the implication that if I deny something I know to be true- then it's like I'm lying. That reminds me of another verse a lot of people quote about- let God be true and every man a liar. So if what I believe about various experiences is true, then others (though not purposely) are trying to turn the truth into a lie, undermining what God purposed, and implying God is a liar (if my perspective is indeed true.
There's another verse that says- "the gifts & calling of God are without repentance. Amen, so be it- let these things speak for themselves what God had done (or not, I'm not scared).
One example came up recently, a couple weeks ago, I was going to write about it...
I went to the library to do something because my internet temporarily wasn't working at home. So I did that and then went to check the kids book section. I didn't have any people in my mind at that time- just pretty goal oriented- get this done, check, that done etc.. So I got a couple books and headed to the check out. It was like in a movie (like many of those moments often are ) I walked out of the row and looked up and boom it was so and so, our eyes met instantly. They locked and recognized, lol there was no where to turn, no going back. I have to give the background, this was one of those people that God supernaturally led me to talk to, no let me rephrase that not just "talk to" but witness to\build a relationship "in the spirit". So if there was a connection in the spirit, obviously it was God that did it by His Holy Spirit- or through a gift of the Spirit. So I "did my thing" lol or rather God did what He does, the way He moves through me different times.
I remember originally there doing whatever practical thing- getting stuff for the kids. They were doing the check out (video) we might have made chit chat over the videos, and then "it" happened. I got those feelings in my gut, where something hits me. I sense this weighty sense of something. So after that prayed for them, I would go back there with purpose, tried to mention what I felt God was saying or talk in the direction I felt God wanted it to go. They shared quite a bit of personal\private detail with me- though they seemed like a private controlled type person. I invited them a couple times to church, gave them flyers. Then at one point there was a certain meeting we talked about, and I can't remember now if they had said maybe they'd look into it- or not. In any case when they didn't make an appearance, I felt something about that-sad disappointed? In any case whether it was God or my flesh, at that point I felt I did what I was supposed to, and I didn't want to go over there and see them anymore, so then I purposely avoided them. I'd ask my husband to go, if I wanted something there. That's a whole other issue, if it's an issue of mine. But I do struggle with that point- often if a cutting off is out of me or God. It could be me or me sometimes, or God (like of course He does a have timing when something is over), or it's God but I question myself and wonder if it's just of me- because I feel guilty or something like that.
It was kind of like Samuel & Saul, where after Samuels last word to Saul and Saul didn't take heed- it says Samuel never went back to Saul (to see him) ever again until Saul’s death.
So fast forward, ha thinking now, it must of have been God because after all that time being conscious of that situation, this time it didn't enter my mind that they might be there. So after the eye lock, what could I do? I'm not good at being rude and cutting things off, my way of being rude at times- is avoiding someone, to never have it come to that point. So of course I have to be cordial. Surprise though, they seemed eager to talk. So not only did they know and remember me instantly, they were talking freely. They could have acted like they didn't know me (since in the natural it wasn't like were best friends for yrs. or anything) could have just said hi or kept it at brief distant small talk.
Well we were talking and it came out that I told her we left that one church and went to another after that. Then we got into talking about that church was the one her sister has been going to. In fact, she's the head of the one ministry I wanted to\was about to get involved with. Among other things they shared something on their thoughts of them & God. And then I felt God give me word for them (actually that one came very flowing, it was nice when I'm ready to flow w\ the Spirit like that). So then I think I went to look quick for another book or like wandered around for a couple minutes. Then I was going to the check out (again) and there was no one else to help me, so she had to come up to the counter. Then it came to me to ask how long her sister had been there. She told me her sister was the one that started that ministry, after she first started going. The ministry is a "rehab" one to help women who want to get off drugs\alcohol and are willing to hear about God at the same time. I found that very interesting. We talked a bit more and I exited "fine" lol meaning no conflict uncomfortableness etc.. Then it came to me as I was leaving the building, what year was that (something I'm not so good at figuring out)? So I had to ask my husband, and it was as I thought, the two happenings were at the same time. At around the same time her sister was starting that ministry is when I was talking to her. So like her sister gets saved I take it (can't remember if she said that fact or not- got to have my hubby remind me) off of some substance as well, maybe one of the worst case scenarios. And God has her sister going to this church and get them into having a rehab outreach. I'm sure all the while (as it usually goes) she was probably praying for her sister's salvation, witnessing to her, inviting her to church. And this was all going one behind the scenes, in another part of the city. And while the Christian sister was praying for her sibling, God hears that and sends someone else (me) to back that up. Ha and I bet she thought she was safe, far away from her sister, on her job. Then here I come, a total stranger saying the same stuff about God, and even inviting her to a church that specializes in helping those with addictions (and also gang bangers, criminal types, and those from off the street). Ha God does things so cool, and He knows-even when we don't.
I thought it reaching at the time to invite her there because she seemed super responsible, controlled and not with any kind of matching background at all. I think, knowing what I know NOW- I think God did it this way to remind her about her sister- remind her what her sister came out of, the change she wished she could deny... and also to show her look it's not just about her sister like it's just her "sisters thing" that she found religion...'cause now somebody who doesn't even know her sister is also talking to her about God. I was even more amazed when I learned of the other side, how it's soo about more than just us and our little world. God has plans purposes and things going on that our little human brains don't grasp or catch on to (without His help). Wow. How much of this goes on every day, all around us? I'm sure plenty, but me at least, can get so distracted, and "lose touch with reality"- lol the real reality!
So one small example, but one none the less, hmm does that sound like how a teacher does things, how God "operates" through that gifting ?
