The Last Gospel; The World of Forced Moves
This world is not my home, I'm just passing through. And though I may look like a member
of the human race, I'm really just a prisoner of it. There was a time when I felt emotionally invested
in humanity, a time when I was hungry, even ravenous, for human interaction and experience of any
kind. Good, bad, or ugly, the nature of the experience mattered little. Whatever the quality, it was
valuable so long as it might illuminate a previously unknown facet of the human condition to me;
and in this way, and for many years, every day felt like Christmas and every night like a new year's
eve. Even losing was no loss, if by it I had gained a new perspective. Perhaps losing something is
the greatest gain, since only then will you truly ascertain what it was you had. So then, if my
outlook was so optimistic and resilient, how did I ever become a hermit, embedded in a species and
its society that he would gladly disown? Ah, if only there were some way to recuse one's self from
humanity, that didn't seemingly require self-liquidation that is. And while self-destruction may be a
useful distraction for a time, whether recreational, pleasing, masochistic, or fatal, it is never a
solution as much as it's a selfish attempt at escaping one's self, even if only for a little while. It
transpires that one must wear his or her monkey-suit to its appointed end, lest the next embodiment
be even more dull and vulgar than the current one. Yes, being mostly monkey is at times repugnant
and tough, but it is still more upwardly mobile than slug, trilobite, bacteria, or any of the necessary
and preceding stages or states of evolution that this matter you're wearing has been through
countless times.
It all began at birth, so to speak. Being born, that was my first mistake. My youthful years
were spent alternating between pleasure and pain, wealth and poverty, luxury and deprivation,
companionship and solitude; not to find out the difference between what is real and what is illusion,
but simply as a matter of course. Love was freely given, seemingly only to be gained and lost; And
familiarity was comforting, before it became contempt. The available sciences, philosophies, arts,
and religions were absorbed, what was true and beautiful in each of them was assimilated and what
remained after that was discarded as dross. The years became decades, and the experiences so
unique and bizarre, by any recorded standards of history that I've been able to locate, that
amazement fermented into a paralyzing stupefaction. No one could ever, or would ever, believe
everything I'd seen, heard, thought, and done, even if they wanted to; and the revelations shown to
me seemed but a cruel joke, unable to be shared intelligibly with anyone else except as an ostensible
Cassandra complex. So what was it all for, this grand production, if not to benefit someone? Is there
any such thing as gain or loss in an experience that begins with someone's monkey lust and ends in
the dust? Knowledge, it seems, starts out like any other drug, pleasant until one begins to rely on it
too much, at which point it becomes a shackle- useful only in reminding you that your body is
chained to its mortality and your mind would go on with its futile measurements and vain chatter
forever, if only it could. Oh, life goes on; long, long after the thrill has gone it will be going still.
Until possessions and habits become trite and tedious, youthful vigor transmutes into timeworn
doubt, fatigue sets in and leads to world-weariness, and what once was a child-like, and
fascinatingly magical existence, in an exciting and beautiful world, has, right before one's eyes,
transmogrified into the earthly equivalent of endlessly washing dishes in hell.
No, please do not, dear reader, take this current life too seriously. It is only temporary.
Whether you assume oblivion awaits, or that your worldly actions and inaction determine your
spiritual fate, please remember that you were never in control of anything and that both of those
assumptions are wrong. It is actually quite the opposite, your destiny is determined and all of the
actions and inaction you will ever be a part of are dictated by that fact. And a state of nothingness
can never exist, since by its very existence it would then cease to be nothing- and you would
already be there. Do you really want to know the truth? Life is an automatic process, as inescapable
as birth and death. A body comes into existence, runs its course and serves its purpose(s), and then
disintegrates back into the dust, and all without the permission of the individual that must inhabit it.
Do not, o sleeper, mistake the falling of the grain of sand for the purpose of the hourglass, or you
might begin to feel nauseous- or, worse yet, arrogant and entitled. There is a purpose, of that you
may be sure, but that your life is said purpose is not even a charming delusion, let alone a clever
one. An individual life is more of a mean than an end, more a function than a state of being.
You did not choose to exist, anymore than you got to choose "your" parents, "your"
upbringing, "your" school, "your" gender, "your" nationality, "your" historical era, "your" cultural
identity, "your" ethnicity, "your" species, "your" lack thereof for any of those things, or even "your"
planet. And yet you like to think you have a "free" will, or that you could somehow choose how you
will act or react in any given situation. You can't even save yourself from fate, yet you like to think
a species that emerges from the dust is somehow going to save the dust. Nothing will keep a planet
from dying a natural death, or then being torn asunder into its constituent parts by a black hole, then
getting ejected back out the thermal vents to coalesce back into nebulae, stars, planets, atmospheres,
bacteria, plants, animals, humanoids. Creation(via the process we call evolution) is the name of this
game; and you are but a pawn on the board, waiting to be enlightened and/or sacrificed to the whys
and hows. Guess what, nothing is "yours" not even you. You didn't make you, any more than a
farmer made the seeds, air, water, soil, and sunlight that became food as he watched. Therefore
anything that comes out of, through, or by way of you was also not made by you. The reality is that
the decisions you "make" or don't "make" are as determined as toppling dominoes, as forced as a
noodle being extruded through a hole. Yes you make decisions, you have no choice in the matter,
and all of them are based off of those things you haven't chosen and have had no control of since
and for ever. Just because there are countless possibilities and permutations of locations, human
behaviours, successions of events, and an illusion of choice, doesn't mean you will do anything but
what you have been preconditioned and made to do. Will there be actions and their necessary
reactions, well executed deeds and rewards, missteps and injuries, blunders and misfortunes,
malevolence and punishments? Of course, but all those are a matter of the very predestination
which is bound by the laws of physics. Call it karma, reaping what you sow, or the conservation of
energy, but it doesn't matter what you call it. because it is what it is, what it always was, and ever
shall be. Just because you may never understand it, or even be aware of it, that doesn't mean you are
somehow an exception to it. It means you are simply on a need to know basis, and what you will
never need to know is of little use to you and the inexorable elapsing of "your" life. Its not called
yours because you possess it, it's yours because you must live it. Oh, i'm sorry, you chose to live on
this planet? And out of all the possibilities of the universe you chose to be you? Then you're a
dipshit. But don't worry, it's not your fault, you would never have been so if you could have chosen
otherwise. Even if you were laboring under the delusion of taking control of, and responsibility for,
"your" own life, it would be because every person, place, thing, and experience that came before led
to you fulfilling your destiny and "making" such a "decision". Sure, it would, and could, never be
done without you playing your part, but a red blood cell does not brag about how its usefulness is
ensured by the heart, which pumps it through its vascular microcosm. Why then should a being,
which neither brings itself into existence nor is able to prevent itself leaving it, get any of the credit
or blame for any of the intricacies or vicissitudes of its sojourn here on Earth? To God goes the
glory, and vengeance is His as well.
Far too many people interpret the "made in His image" to suit their own ends. As if this
means, somehow, they are little gods, or that God, then, must be a gibbering, bearded ape in the sky.
For, in the perspective that has been afforded me, the physical universe, always temporary and
always in a state of generation and decay, is said image. It is constituted of countless other images,
yet it is not infinite. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end, but due to the constraints of biology,
no finite mind could ever perceive, compute, or comprehend it fully. Such as it is, the image is the
visible, tangible, ever-shifting reflection of that which is actually Real, invisible, and unchanging.
Socrates used the phrase "we see through a glass darkly", and Paul quoted him. Socrates used the
phrase "He through and in which all others have their existence", and Paul quoted him. Our body is
the temple raised from the dust, through the creative process of biological evolution, and our
perceptions are the blurry and limited abilities we have to discern the eternal Truth from the
temporal illusion. God is an eternal Spirit/Mind- Thus He pre-exists and survives every permutation
of the reflection, between every big crunch and bang, forever; and thus we, as finite beings, have no
individual existence outside of the image. That is not to say we do not also exist in our real form,
but we must remain limited to human comprehension on this point.
So to all of you professing a faith in the Almighty, while machinating in every worldly way
to influence politics, commerce, education etc., I have news for you- You are self-deceiving
hypocrites drawing near with your mouth to that which you will never truly be in communion with,
as long as world events are your main concern. And your so-called religion is little more than a
facsimile of the same one that killed the son of God. Just call it what it is: the herd instinct made
into self-worshiping ritualism, magical thinking, and self-serving superstition. It's the old "if I
believe it, then it must be true" deception. It sucks to be you, but that too is predestined. And if
some of your preoccupations consist of retaining and accumulating material wealth, caring what
others think of you, or looking for people, places, or things to rub your genitals on or in, then what
do you think claiming to be a child of God sounds like when it comes out of your mouth? Even
Satan owes his existence to the Creator. So are you a child of God? Yes, and who isn't. Did you
make that so? No. Then shut your mouth about it, unless you're going to follow that thought through
to its logical conclusion and live accordingly. If you haven't left mother, father, sisters and brothers,
wives or husbands, children, lands and wealth, for His sake, then you are no follower of Christ. If
you haven't given up on being an instinct driven monkey looking to get what you want, and spoken
the truth, at the risk of being hated, harmed, or killed, then you are no follower of Christ. If you
have not disturbed the comfortable, and comforted the disturbed, then you are no follower of Christ.
Calling yourself a "Christian", while not doing any of the things He did, means you are just one of
the many pretenders He warned about. And on the last day you may say to Him "lord, lord haven't I
said and done many things for you?". His answer has already been given.
Many are called into existence, but few are chosen to know God. Those living in slavery to
sin will remain blind to these things, and continue on their respective and preordained paths. So
either way don't worry, everything is under control......including you.
Randomity Only Apparent
"Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht" - Albert
Einstein
“Einstein was very unhappy about this apparent randomness in
nature. His views were summed up in his famous phrase, 'God does
not play dice'. He seemed to have felt that the uncertainty was
only provisional but that there was an underlying reality, in
which particles have well defined positions and speeds, and evolve
according to deterministic laws, in the spirit of Laplace. This
reality might be known to God, but the quantum nature of light
would prevent us seeing it, except through a glass darkly.” -
Stephen Hawking
"It is difficult to discuss the beginning of the universe without
mentioning the concept of God. My work on the origin of the
universe is on the borderline between science and religion, but I
try to stay on the scientific side of the border. It is quite
possible that God acts in ways that cannot be described by
scientific laws, but in that case, one would just have to go by
personal belief."- Stephen Hawking
"O son, how many bodies have we to pass through, how many bands of
demons, through how many series of repetitions and cycles of the
stars, before we hasten to the One alone?"- Hermes Trismegistus
"For herein is the evil of ignorance, that he who is neither good
nor wise is nevertheless satisfied with himself: he has no desire
for that of which he feels no want."- Socrates(Symposium)
"Only in death will the soul be free from the distractions and
cares of the body"- Socrates (The Republic)
"Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because
I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think
more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of
these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep
me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a
messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the
Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so
that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s
sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am
strong. - Paul(2Cor12:6-10)
"Your idol is shattered in the dust to prove that God's dust is
greater than your idol." - Rabindranath Tagore
“The Kingdom of Heaven is within you” - Christ
This world is not my home, I'm just passing through. And though I may look like a member
of the human race, I'm really just a prisoner of it. There was a time when I felt emotionally invested
in humanity, a time when I was hungry, even ravenous, for human interaction and experience of any
kind. Good, bad, or ugly, the nature of the experience mattered little. Whatever the quality, it was
valuable so long as it might illuminate a previously unknown facet of the human condition to me;
and in this way, and for many years, every day felt like Christmas and every night like a new year's
eve. Even losing was no loss, if by it I had gained a new perspective. Perhaps losing something is
the greatest gain, since only then will you truly ascertain what it was you had. So then, if my
outlook was so optimistic and resilient, how did I ever become a hermit, embedded in a species and
its society that he would gladly disown? Ah, if only there were some way to recuse one's self from
humanity, that didn't seemingly require self-liquidation that is. And while self-destruction may be a
useful distraction for a time, whether recreational, pleasing, masochistic, or fatal, it is never a
solution as much as it's a selfish attempt at escaping one's self, even if only for a little while. It
transpires that one must wear his or her monkey-suit to its appointed end, lest the next embodiment
be even more dull and vulgar than the current one. Yes, being mostly monkey is at times repugnant
and tough, but it is still more upwardly mobile than slug, trilobite, bacteria, or any of the necessary
and preceding stages or states of evolution that this matter you're wearing has been through
countless times.
It all began at birth, so to speak. Being born, that was my first mistake. My youthful years
were spent alternating between pleasure and pain, wealth and poverty, luxury and deprivation,
companionship and solitude; not to find out the difference between what is real and what is illusion,
but simply as a matter of course. Love was freely given, seemingly only to be gained and lost; And
familiarity was comforting, before it became contempt. The available sciences, philosophies, arts,
and religions were absorbed, what was true and beautiful in each of them was assimilated and what
remained after that was discarded as dross. The years became decades, and the experiences so
unique and bizarre, by any recorded standards of history that I've been able to locate, that
amazement fermented into a paralyzing stupefaction. No one could ever, or would ever, believe
everything I'd seen, heard, thought, and done, even if they wanted to; and the revelations shown to
me seemed but a cruel joke, unable to be shared intelligibly with anyone else except as an ostensible
Cassandra complex. So what was it all for, this grand production, if not to benefit someone? Is there
any such thing as gain or loss in an experience that begins with someone's monkey lust and ends in
the dust? Knowledge, it seems, starts out like any other drug, pleasant until one begins to rely on it
too much, at which point it becomes a shackle- useful only in reminding you that your body is
chained to its mortality and your mind would go on with its futile measurements and vain chatter
forever, if only it could. Oh, life goes on; long, long after the thrill has gone it will be going still.
Until possessions and habits become trite and tedious, youthful vigor transmutes into timeworn
doubt, fatigue sets in and leads to world-weariness, and what once was a child-like, and
fascinatingly magical existence, in an exciting and beautiful world, has, right before one's eyes,
transmogrified into the earthly equivalent of endlessly washing dishes in hell.
No, please do not, dear reader, take this current life too seriously. It is only temporary.
Whether you assume oblivion awaits, or that your worldly actions and inaction determine your
spiritual fate, please remember that you were never in control of anything and that both of those
assumptions are wrong. It is actually quite the opposite, your destiny is determined and all of the
actions and inaction you will ever be a part of are dictated by that fact. And a state of nothingness
can never exist, since by its very existence it would then cease to be nothing- and you would
already be there. Do you really want to know the truth? Life is an automatic process, as inescapable
as birth and death. A body comes into existence, runs its course and serves its purpose(s), and then
disintegrates back into the dust, and all without the permission of the individual that must inhabit it.
Do not, o sleeper, mistake the falling of the grain of sand for the purpose of the hourglass, or you
might begin to feel nauseous- or, worse yet, arrogant and entitled. There is a purpose, of that you
may be sure, but that your life is said purpose is not even a charming delusion, let alone a clever
one. An individual life is more of a mean than an end, more a function than a state of being.
You did not choose to exist, anymore than you got to choose "your" parents, "your"
upbringing, "your" school, "your" gender, "your" nationality, "your" historical era, "your" cultural
identity, "your" ethnicity, "your" species, "your" lack thereof for any of those things, or even "your"
planet. And yet you like to think you have a "free" will, or that you could somehow choose how you
will act or react in any given situation. You can't even save yourself from fate, yet you like to think
a species that emerges from the dust is somehow going to save the dust. Nothing will keep a planet
from dying a natural death, or then being torn asunder into its constituent parts by a black hole, then
getting ejected back out the thermal vents to coalesce back into nebulae, stars, planets, atmospheres,
bacteria, plants, animals, humanoids. Creation(via the process we call evolution) is the name of this
game; and you are but a pawn on the board, waiting to be enlightened and/or sacrificed to the whys
and hows. Guess what, nothing is "yours" not even you. You didn't make you, any more than a
farmer made the seeds, air, water, soil, and sunlight that became food as he watched. Therefore
anything that comes out of, through, or by way of you was also not made by you. The reality is that
the decisions you "make" or don't "make" are as determined as toppling dominoes, as forced as a
noodle being extruded through a hole. Yes you make decisions, you have no choice in the matter,
and all of them are based off of those things you haven't chosen and have had no control of since
and for ever. Just because there are countless possibilities and permutations of locations, human
behaviours, successions of events, and an illusion of choice, doesn't mean you will do anything but
what you have been preconditioned and made to do. Will there be actions and their necessary
reactions, well executed deeds and rewards, missteps and injuries, blunders and misfortunes,
malevolence and punishments? Of course, but all those are a matter of the very predestination
which is bound by the laws of physics. Call it karma, reaping what you sow, or the conservation of
energy, but it doesn't matter what you call it. because it is what it is, what it always was, and ever
shall be. Just because you may never understand it, or even be aware of it, that doesn't mean you are
somehow an exception to it. It means you are simply on a need to know basis, and what you will
never need to know is of little use to you and the inexorable elapsing of "your" life. Its not called
yours because you possess it, it's yours because you must live it. Oh, i'm sorry, you chose to live on
this planet? And out of all the possibilities of the universe you chose to be you? Then you're a
dipshit. But don't worry, it's not your fault, you would never have been so if you could have chosen
otherwise. Even if you were laboring under the delusion of taking control of, and responsibility for,
"your" own life, it would be because every person, place, thing, and experience that came before led
to you fulfilling your destiny and "making" such a "decision". Sure, it would, and could, never be
done without you playing your part, but a red blood cell does not brag about how its usefulness is
ensured by the heart, which pumps it through its vascular microcosm. Why then should a being,
which neither brings itself into existence nor is able to prevent itself leaving it, get any of the credit
or blame for any of the intricacies or vicissitudes of its sojourn here on Earth? To God goes the
glory, and vengeance is His as well.
Far too many people interpret the "made in His image" to suit their own ends. As if this
means, somehow, they are little gods, or that God, then, must be a gibbering, bearded ape in the sky.
For, in the perspective that has been afforded me, the physical universe, always temporary and
always in a state of generation and decay, is said image. It is constituted of countless other images,
yet it is not infinite. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end, but due to the constraints of biology,
no finite mind could ever perceive, compute, or comprehend it fully. Such as it is, the image is the
visible, tangible, ever-shifting reflection of that which is actually Real, invisible, and unchanging.
Socrates used the phrase "we see through a glass darkly", and Paul quoted him. Socrates used the
phrase "He through and in which all others have their existence", and Paul quoted him. Our body is
the temple raised from the dust, through the creative process of biological evolution, and our
perceptions are the blurry and limited abilities we have to discern the eternal Truth from the
temporal illusion. God is an eternal Spirit/Mind- Thus He pre-exists and survives every permutation
of the reflection, between every big crunch and bang, forever; and thus we, as finite beings, have no
individual existence outside of the image. That is not to say we do not also exist in our real form,
but we must remain limited to human comprehension on this point.
So to all of you professing a faith in the Almighty, while machinating in every worldly way
to influence politics, commerce, education etc., I have news for you- You are self-deceiving
hypocrites drawing near with your mouth to that which you will never truly be in communion with,
as long as world events are your main concern. And your so-called religion is little more than a
facsimile of the same one that killed the son of God. Just call it what it is: the herd instinct made
into self-worshiping ritualism, magical thinking, and self-serving superstition. It's the old "if I
believe it, then it must be true" deception. It sucks to be you, but that too is predestined. And if
some of your preoccupations consist of retaining and accumulating material wealth, caring what
others think of you, or looking for people, places, or things to rub your genitals on or in, then what
do you think claiming to be a child of God sounds like when it comes out of your mouth? Even
Satan owes his existence to the Creator. So are you a child of God? Yes, and who isn't. Did you
make that so? No. Then shut your mouth about it, unless you're going to follow that thought through
to its logical conclusion and live accordingly. If you haven't left mother, father, sisters and brothers,
wives or husbands, children, lands and wealth, for His sake, then you are no follower of Christ. If
you haven't given up on being an instinct driven monkey looking to get what you want, and spoken
the truth, at the risk of being hated, harmed, or killed, then you are no follower of Christ. If you
have not disturbed the comfortable, and comforted the disturbed, then you are no follower of Christ.
Calling yourself a "Christian", while not doing any of the things He did, means you are just one of
the many pretenders He warned about. And on the last day you may say to Him "lord, lord haven't I
said and done many things for you?". His answer has already been given.
Many are called into existence, but few are chosen to know God. Those living in slavery to
sin will remain blind to these things, and continue on their respective and preordained paths. So
either way don't worry, everything is under control......including you.
Randomity Only Apparent
"Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht" - Albert
Einstein
“Einstein was very unhappy about this apparent randomness in
nature. His views were summed up in his famous phrase, 'God does
not play dice'. He seemed to have felt that the uncertainty was
only provisional but that there was an underlying reality, in
which particles have well defined positions and speeds, and evolve
according to deterministic laws, in the spirit of Laplace. This
reality might be known to God, but the quantum nature of light
would prevent us seeing it, except through a glass darkly.” -
Stephen Hawking
"It is difficult to discuss the beginning of the universe without
mentioning the concept of God. My work on the origin of the
universe is on the borderline between science and religion, but I
try to stay on the scientific side of the border. It is quite
possible that God acts in ways that cannot be described by
scientific laws, but in that case, one would just have to go by
personal belief."- Stephen Hawking
"O son, how many bodies have we to pass through, how many bands of
demons, through how many series of repetitions and cycles of the
stars, before we hasten to the One alone?"- Hermes Trismegistus
"For herein is the evil of ignorance, that he who is neither good
nor wise is nevertheless satisfied with himself: he has no desire
for that of which he feels no want."- Socrates(Symposium)
"Only in death will the soul be free from the distractions and
cares of the body"- Socrates (The Republic)
"Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because
I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think
more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of
these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep
me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a
messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the
Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so
that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s
sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am
strong. - Paul(2Cor12:6-10)
"Your idol is shattered in the dust to prove that God's dust is
greater than your idol." - Rabindranath Tagore
“The Kingdom of Heaven is within you” - Christ
