No matter how many people tell me God loves me I never believe it. I think it's because I hear awful voices in my head all day long. The voices laugh at me. One of the voices pretends to be good and seems like he is giving me good advice, but in reality he hates me just as much as the voice who insults me. He's laughed at me too and insulted me just like the mean voice. So I think he's just a pretender.
I really think I'm going to hell for Christmas this time. The voices told me "You only have one month left." People tell me God loves me, but I just keep thinking about how bad everything is and I can't believe it. The reason I think I will go to hell for Christmas is that I saw a message on my pants saying "Have a very merry Hell." So every Christmas I keep thinking I will go to hell. I keep thinking that God and Jesus hate me and are out to get me. People tell me that the opposite is true, but I just don't see why I would have these nasty voices in my head all day long if God loved me. Maybe I just need to find a silver lining. It's hard though because the voices are really bad.
I just feel like it's evil destiny. No matter what I do I have to go to hell. I try giving money to the poor thinking that will help, but it doesn't really do anything. I think I just screwed up too bad and Jesus can't forgive me.
The reason I think I will go to hell for Christmas is that I made a bet with Jesus in my head about my grades, and I get my grades around Christmas time. If I get certain grades I will have to go to hell because I made a bet about it in my head with Jesus. Because this is my last semester and it's their last chance to get me, I feel like God will make it so that I will get a certain grade and then I will go to hell. I don't even think that I will die either. I keep thinking that I will just get teleported to hell if I get a certain grade in school. I've seen people and objects get teleported before too, so I feel like that's a sign from God that he can teleport people.
I know this all sounds crazy, but I really believe it. I really wish I could believe the people who tell me God loves me. Too many crazy things have happened to me, things that make me believe it's hopeless. I keep thinking of these things that happened and they all make me feel miserable. I really like God and Jesus. I read the Bible, go to church, and listen to Christian music all the time. I just keep thinking that if God loved me I wouldn't hear voices all the time, or something would work to keep them away. I've tried medication and I've tried prayer and even an exorcism. Something should make them go away if God loves me, right?
Anyway, if you've read all this, please pray that God will save me from hell somehow. I feel really hopeless and I don't think anything can help, but I have been wrong about going to hell before, so I could be wrong again. I really think I'm right this time, but I hope I'm wrong. I really wish I didn't make bets in my head with Jesus. They make me truly miserable. I really think I will go to hell because I made these bets. But it could be that I'm just too bad for God and maybe the bets are all a red herring. I'm not sure.
I've been reading over the nice messages people have left me about my voices and my situation and they do help.
Thank you to all the people who have tried to help me,
SnowTiger
I really think I'm going to hell for Christmas this time. The voices told me "You only have one month left." People tell me God loves me, but I just keep thinking about how bad everything is and I can't believe it. The reason I think I will go to hell for Christmas is that I saw a message on my pants saying "Have a very merry Hell." So every Christmas I keep thinking I will go to hell. I keep thinking that God and Jesus hate me and are out to get me. People tell me that the opposite is true, but I just don't see why I would have these nasty voices in my head all day long if God loved me. Maybe I just need to find a silver lining. It's hard though because the voices are really bad.
I just feel like it's evil destiny. No matter what I do I have to go to hell. I try giving money to the poor thinking that will help, but it doesn't really do anything. I think I just screwed up too bad and Jesus can't forgive me.
The reason I think I will go to hell for Christmas is that I made a bet with Jesus in my head about my grades, and I get my grades around Christmas time. If I get certain grades I will have to go to hell because I made a bet about it in my head with Jesus. Because this is my last semester and it's their last chance to get me, I feel like God will make it so that I will get a certain grade and then I will go to hell. I don't even think that I will die either. I keep thinking that I will just get teleported to hell if I get a certain grade in school. I've seen people and objects get teleported before too, so I feel like that's a sign from God that he can teleport people.
I know this all sounds crazy, but I really believe it. I really wish I could believe the people who tell me God loves me. Too many crazy things have happened to me, things that make me believe it's hopeless. I keep thinking of these things that happened and they all make me feel miserable. I really like God and Jesus. I read the Bible, go to church, and listen to Christian music all the time. I just keep thinking that if God loved me I wouldn't hear voices all the time, or something would work to keep them away. I've tried medication and I've tried prayer and even an exorcism. Something should make them go away if God loves me, right?
Anyway, if you've read all this, please pray that God will save me from hell somehow. I feel really hopeless and I don't think anything can help, but I have been wrong about going to hell before, so I could be wrong again. I really think I'm right this time, but I hope I'm wrong. I really wish I didn't make bets in my head with Jesus. They make me truly miserable. I really think I will go to hell because I made these bets. But it could be that I'm just too bad for God and maybe the bets are all a red herring. I'm not sure.
I've been reading over the nice messages people have left me about my voices and my situation and they do help.
Thank you to all the people who have tried to help me,
SnowTiger
