Contined...
Just thinking about it for example just tonight Iwas trying to fugure if I should've gone with my son & his father to get his hair cut esp. for this weekend. OK I decided against it becuase I thought more could get done if He takes care of one set of things but then I another. Later it came to me, Oh no what if it gets cut too short or goofy looking- what could I do about that if it's too short? So then I'm kicking myself that I didn't go with to make sure he got the right cut- like show the person the book and tell them the length. Sorry but for whichever reason I've gotten into thinking with many things, my hubby isn't going to handle it right. He's a minimalist lol. To me this important, since people are going to be taking pictures. Like I know he wouldn't have taken those steps & or be firm with the person. If they don't cut off enough like last time, I can remedy that, I could trim it fine. I know i can't fully cut it if it's too long (don't know the technique), but I think I do ok with trims. SO I know if it doesn't come back right I'm going to be irritated and say something about the hair person and probably blame my husband for not making sure it came out right &\or for not saying somethign to them...sounds like the 8 in me.
Oh and that's the 7 part that I deal with multiple times a day- trying to figure if If i should've gone or stayed, and maybe making a decision one way and later thinking I should've done the other.
Like this other site has a lot of insightful things about this personality system:
www.
understandingpersonality.com
The have a bunch of cool video clips giving examples with people they think are each of the different types.
Anyway, one thing they say about 8's is about the competency issue. I thought about it competency is not the same as "success". I'd define it in this context of being able to get things done, make it happen, get what you want, not let others keep you from getting what you want, rise to the occasion, make it work, be able to figure something out...
I think my mother was a 3 & 8 and maybe a 7. I think my oldest is the same- no wonder he reminds me much of her.
I think my also being a 2 balances the 8 out- I'm not a vengeful person, nor ever really had a problem throwing profanity around particularly towards others in that curt rude offensive way.
I respect people who are firm, assertive,& direct... but because of my experience with my mother- I dont like rude obnoxious or arrogant.
Even though I sound one way to my husband and push that competency thing- I wouldn't have handled the situation exactly like my mother. I try to be more polite and have a pleasant attitude (while I try to get what I want). If some one doesn't do it right I tend to handle it various ways depending. I certainly wouldn't react the same way my mother would have- even if I were feeling & possibly thinking the same thing lol
Just because I could & had the right to make trouble for someone ( in response to them messing something up) that doesn't mean I should or would- speaking as a Christian now. A common response from my mother was," who's your boss, I want to speak to the manager, I'm going to file a report, or just her proceeding to tell them off esp about how stupid, incompetent they are, possibly punctuated with swear words (depending on how "professional" the situation is).
I might grumble about it, complain later, probably never go back there again, and if it was something serious file a report. Unlike my mother I also try to judge things according to motive-what I think someones motives are. Sometimes actually then I can come out harder. Many times I don't get so bothered about incompetance, someone messing something up if I believe they meant weel &\or were really trying. On the other hand even if it's something smaller but I sense the person doesn't care, has an attitude, isn't putting their all into something- then that could really bother me more and cause me to say something.
With my mother it was all about perfection, what was behind things wasn't taken into consideration.
So why do I say Im' a secondary 8 (or third depending)? I certainly fit the full description as a child including being alot more confident, outgoing- and mean.
God knew, and He took vaious circumstancese to "break me" and soften me up, balance me out, lol humble me.
I mean something that's not a part of 7 & 2 is being confronatational,:
- (avoid) Of being harmed or controlled by others
-(go after) To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life
and destiny)
From www. enneagraminstitute.com/TypeEight.asp
...Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.
Ha and I didn't even notice where it says: that when 8's move toward growth they become more like healthy 2's - so there you go...
"Eights understand that this requires strength, will, persistence, and endurance—qualities that they develop in themselves and which they look for in others."
Well I think I traded most of this for God- His will & direction. And I've learned these things can only take you so far, or might take you "somewhere" but is it really where you were designed by God to go, which is your highest & best destiny.
"Eights are the true “rugged individualists” of the Enneagram. More than any other type, they stand alone. They want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. They often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and they can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of their actions. Although they are usually aware of what people think of them, they do not let the opinions of others sway them."...by the grace of God
Like the Bible says:
"all things work together for good"...
God used my past (and personality He gave me) to prepare me.
I'm sure if I had a different physical appearence people might consider me more of an 8 (not that that's like my goal or anything.)
Leaders...a very interesting topic for me, and one of my faves. I never really thought about or wanted to be a "leader". Now sometimes it may've seemed that way, when you have someone who wants a certain thing(s) and thinks something should be a certain way. I always just thought of myself as independent, and nver wanted the responsiblity for "leading" whoever. Then it seems like conflict when you believe in making your own choices, thnking for yourself and not allowing yourself to be influenced by others.. then to try to put that on others. But then as a Christian I see God's organizational structure. I know longer "think for myself", in a way I choose to try to think as He does, be as Jesus was. So I'm not independent anymore, trying to make what I want happen, trying to just get my way.
I work for a bigger pupose (cause some outside might say).In this bigger purpose & structure (which what used to be a scary word to me) He has those He has chosen to "lead". So I recognize that, try to recieve input that lines up, and accept it as being part of God's ordained organization.
I've "died" to different things.
If I wanted to I could've gotton involved (or involved fully or continueously) in so many different things.Of which would've made me look like that I got sooo much done (lol more than I seem now) maybe got some more certificates, titles etc..
But I stopped going that way & thinking, for these reasons:
Just thinking about it for example just tonight Iwas trying to fugure if I should've gone with my son & his father to get his hair cut esp. for this weekend. OK I decided against it becuase I thought more could get done if He takes care of one set of things but then I another. Later it came to me, Oh no what if it gets cut too short or goofy looking- what could I do about that if it's too short? So then I'm kicking myself that I didn't go with to make sure he got the right cut- like show the person the book and tell them the length. Sorry but for whichever reason I've gotten into thinking with many things, my hubby isn't going to handle it right. He's a minimalist lol. To me this important, since people are going to be taking pictures. Like I know he wouldn't have taken those steps & or be firm with the person. If they don't cut off enough like last time, I can remedy that, I could trim it fine. I know i can't fully cut it if it's too long (don't know the technique), but I think I do ok with trims. SO I know if it doesn't come back right I'm going to be irritated and say something about the hair person and probably blame my husband for not making sure it came out right &\or for not saying somethign to them...sounds like the 8 in me.
Oh and that's the 7 part that I deal with multiple times a day- trying to figure if If i should've gone or stayed, and maybe making a decision one way and later thinking I should've done the other.
Like this other site has a lot of insightful things about this personality system:
www.
understandingpersonality.com
The have a bunch of cool video clips giving examples with people they think are each of the different types.
Anyway, one thing they say about 8's is about the competency issue. I thought about it competency is not the same as "success". I'd define it in this context of being able to get things done, make it happen, get what you want, not let others keep you from getting what you want, rise to the occasion, make it work, be able to figure something out...
I think my mother was a 3 & 8 and maybe a 7. I think my oldest is the same- no wonder he reminds me much of her.
I think my also being a 2 balances the 8 out- I'm not a vengeful person, nor ever really had a problem throwing profanity around particularly towards others in that curt rude offensive way.
I respect people who are firm, assertive,& direct... but because of my experience with my mother- I dont like rude obnoxious or arrogant.
Even though I sound one way to my husband and push that competency thing- I wouldn't have handled the situation exactly like my mother. I try to be more polite and have a pleasant attitude (while I try to get what I want). If some one doesn't do it right I tend to handle it various ways depending. I certainly wouldn't react the same way my mother would have- even if I were feeling & possibly thinking the same thing lol
Just because I could & had the right to make trouble for someone ( in response to them messing something up) that doesn't mean I should or would- speaking as a Christian now. A common response from my mother was," who's your boss, I want to speak to the manager, I'm going to file a report, or just her proceeding to tell them off esp about how stupid, incompetent they are, possibly punctuated with swear words (depending on how "professional" the situation is).
I might grumble about it, complain later, probably never go back there again, and if it was something serious file a report. Unlike my mother I also try to judge things according to motive-what I think someones motives are. Sometimes actually then I can come out harder. Many times I don't get so bothered about incompetance, someone messing something up if I believe they meant weel &\or were really trying. On the other hand even if it's something smaller but I sense the person doesn't care, has an attitude, isn't putting their all into something- then that could really bother me more and cause me to say something.
With my mother it was all about perfection, what was behind things wasn't taken into consideration.
So why do I say Im' a secondary 8 (or third depending)? I certainly fit the full description as a child including being alot more confident, outgoing- and mean.
God knew, and He took vaious circumstancese to "break me" and soften me up, balance me out, lol humble me.
I mean something that's not a part of 7 & 2 is being confronatational,:
- (avoid) Of being harmed or controlled by others
-(go after) To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life
and destiny)
From www. enneagraminstitute.com/TypeEight.asp
...Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.
Ha and I didn't even notice where it says: that when 8's move toward growth they become more like healthy 2's - so there you go...
"Eights understand that this requires strength, will, persistence, and endurance—qualities that they develop in themselves and which they look for in others."
Well I think I traded most of this for God- His will & direction. And I've learned these things can only take you so far, or might take you "somewhere" but is it really where you were designed by God to go, which is your highest & best destiny.
"Eights are the true “rugged individualists” of the Enneagram. More than any other type, they stand alone. They want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. They often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and they can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of their actions. Although they are usually aware of what people think of them, they do not let the opinions of others sway them."...by the grace of God
Like the Bible says:
"all things work together for good"...
God used my past (and personality He gave me) to prepare me.
I'm sure if I had a different physical appearence people might consider me more of an 8 (not that that's like my goal or anything.)
Leaders...a very interesting topic for me, and one of my faves. I never really thought about or wanted to be a "leader". Now sometimes it may've seemed that way, when you have someone who wants a certain thing(s) and thinks something should be a certain way. I always just thought of myself as independent, and nver wanted the responsiblity for "leading" whoever. Then it seems like conflict when you believe in making your own choices, thnking for yourself and not allowing yourself to be influenced by others.. then to try to put that on others. But then as a Christian I see God's organizational structure. I know longer "think for myself", in a way I choose to try to think as He does, be as Jesus was. So I'm not independent anymore, trying to make what I want happen, trying to just get my way.
I work for a bigger pupose (cause some outside might say).In this bigger purpose & structure (which what used to be a scary word to me) He has those He has chosen to "lead". So I recognize that, try to recieve input that lines up, and accept it as being part of God's ordained organization.
I've "died" to different things.
If I wanted to I could've gotton involved (or involved fully or continueously) in so many different things.Of which would've made me look like that I got sooo much done (lol more than I seem now) maybe got some more certificates, titles etc..
But I stopped going that way & thinking, for these reasons:
