I view my future with trepidation. 2017 is likely to be my toughest financially. My savings are running out. I could look at this year as an opportunity for growth for a better relationship with God, to become a better person. But part of me feels that is all hollow. Sounds good but idealistic nonsense. Sometimes suffering is just suffering, with no learning curves, just reinforcement of negative self accusations. Further proof that you were as bad as you thought you were.
I am not cut out for pain. I was always more suited to creature comforts. Hiding, luxuriating in soft beds, nice couches, friendly Internet forums, a smiling dog and a patient partner. I've got all that but for how much longer? Time is running out and what is God trying to tell me exactly? That I need to get off my butt right now and do 50 push-ups? I dunno. To send off another 50 applications for jobs? I dunno. To not give up? Yeah OK, he is definitely saying that. I've got a partner and dog who need me, even I am not an adequate provider. of course they would prefer me to be a much better provider. To bring not just the bacon home but also some fillet steak occasionally.
I'm a serial job quitter. You may as well know the truth. Why not just tell the whole world my core issue.
I'm ashamed to say I quit if the going gets even a little tough. I make excuses for quitting. Too low pay. Nasty boss. Nasty colleague. They expect too much. I cant do the job. I'm not good enough. My values don't equate with this company. Yeah right. You gotta Man up Paul. God is saying this but you aint listening are you?
I am not cut out for pain. I was always more suited to creature comforts. Hiding, luxuriating in soft beds, nice couches, friendly Internet forums, a smiling dog and a patient partner. I've got all that but for how much longer? Time is running out and what is God trying to tell me exactly? That I need to get off my butt right now and do 50 push-ups? I dunno. To send off another 50 applications for jobs? I dunno. To not give up? Yeah OK, he is definitely saying that. I've got a partner and dog who need me, even I am not an adequate provider. of course they would prefer me to be a much better provider. To bring not just the bacon home but also some fillet steak occasionally.
I'm a serial job quitter. You may as well know the truth. Why not just tell the whole world my core issue.
I'm ashamed to say I quit if the going gets even a little tough. I make excuses for quitting. Too low pay. Nasty boss. Nasty colleague. They expect too much. I cant do the job. I'm not good enough. My values don't equate with this company. Yeah right. You gotta Man up Paul. God is saying this but you aint listening are you?
