Well were starting 2017 off very well..were finally moving from these hotels..our extended stay is now over and it was over due. Ive been here 3 years and im too happy to get gone, we leave saturday.
I get my stuff ready for school and start february, i want to make sure this never happens again.
This happened twice in my life where my life was put on hold , I swear I feel like girl interrupted(without the mental stays...but darn near,,,like this close ) the first time it was because of financial issues...I had to drop out of school,,,and for 3 years I was a high school drop out and I just stayed in my house while my mother went to work and came home .we only had one car. And now, i was kicked out due to financial issues...from Aug to now I was in a cramped hotel ,says going by....and now its over.
It feels surreal...it feel even more surreal when I can walk in the apartment and close my own door to my own room.
I know I won't be the same, even now still have bad anxiety... Because I've been home bound so long..when I go out I get anxiety..like I did today going with my brother to see his tutor. And I worry about my little brother because he's only 9 but I can see traces of anxiety in him too.....because my parents fight so much.,he usually paces or covers his ears when loud noises come about.
For now my dad is home, and its been fighting with my parents non stop ..to the point its given me a headache...I can't wait till he goes back to trucking because my parents are 2 people who need to stay apart.
When my dad leaves for the second and final time I feel so anxious that ill be the one that has to help my mom out ....because my brothers aren't here..they're in their own world....running behind a pastor that could less about them. Though I feel alot of stress. In ready to embrace 2017 because I know things are gonna change.
2016 took so much from me, from college(got kicked out), my own freaking hair( I developed alopecia in 2016 ( auto immune disease in which your hair falls out) and almost my sanity and faith...both were tried the hardest.. Shoot even my brother's tutor lost someone in her family on new years eve ...the very last day of 2016... That year was just plain demonic lol.. I'm ready to wrap it up and leave it behind.
This year I want to get my license, a job to help my mom and do well in school...in so nervous but so ready.
I just hope everything goes in my favour this year.
I get my stuff ready for school and start february, i want to make sure this never happens again.
This happened twice in my life where my life was put on hold , I swear I feel like girl interrupted(without the mental stays...but darn near,,,like this close ) the first time it was because of financial issues...I had to drop out of school,,,and for 3 years I was a high school drop out and I just stayed in my house while my mother went to work and came home .we only had one car. And now, i was kicked out due to financial issues...from Aug to now I was in a cramped hotel ,says going by....and now its over.
It feels surreal...it feel even more surreal when I can walk in the apartment and close my own door to my own room.
I know I won't be the same, even now still have bad anxiety... Because I've been home bound so long..when I go out I get anxiety..like I did today going with my brother to see his tutor. And I worry about my little brother because he's only 9 but I can see traces of anxiety in him too.....because my parents fight so much.,he usually paces or covers his ears when loud noises come about.
For now my dad is home, and its been fighting with my parents non stop ..to the point its given me a headache...I can't wait till he goes back to trucking because my parents are 2 people who need to stay apart.
When my dad leaves for the second and final time I feel so anxious that ill be the one that has to help my mom out ....because my brothers aren't here..they're in their own world....running behind a pastor that could less about them. Though I feel alot of stress. In ready to embrace 2017 because I know things are gonna change.
2016 took so much from me, from college(got kicked out), my own freaking hair( I developed alopecia in 2016 ( auto immune disease in which your hair falls out) and almost my sanity and faith...both were tried the hardest.. Shoot even my brother's tutor lost someone in her family on new years eve ...the very last day of 2016... That year was just plain demonic lol.. I'm ready to wrap it up and leave it behind.
This year I want to get my license, a job to help my mom and do well in school...in so nervous but so ready.
- View media item 54416 The photo is where I've been living for the past three years and just like this. On top of each other and sometimes a wreck because the space is too small..I wanted to put this photo here to just remind myself..where I came from
- And anyone reading, don't feel sorry or pity me.. Cut the shxt...this only makes me stronger. I'm not a charity case nor do I want to be seen that way..this blog is for me and. I'm just being 100% transparent.
I just hope everything goes in my favour this year.
