My life for the past 2 years has been like climbing a tall mountain, trying to breath and out of breath.
I left CF mostly after the sudden death of my beloved sister Carla, who was a member of CF also, happy she joined before she had taken her own life, she was miserable in her marriage and thought she had no way out, controlled, mentally abused and was told 1 week before she decided to do it, that her husband was leaving her for good. It is a long story, she confided in me, and brings closure to why did she do what she did. I know for sure she prayed hard before she did what she did, because she became so much into Jesus and always prayed with me when we spent time together.
I was mortified by losing her, no goodbyes, no last chance to hug her.. just suddenly and zap, she is gone! It took a toll on me.
You see, my life was similar to hers, my marriage was really bad, I acted like it was good to everyone else, but deep down inside, I hurt-ed for years from physical and mental abuse. Don't know why I stayed in it. But in April of 2009 I left and had no where to go, no money (he controlled everything, even finances). I cried, I wanted to do what she did, but something spiritually said NO! I was stronger.
I went to my mothers and lived with her for 2 years, while going through a divorce. It is hard living with other people and no privacy and so forth. Got on with my life, little by little.. climbing that tall mountain, praying and crying out to the Lord to help me. I became rebellious, going out drinking, re-bounding, loneliness, not knowing what I truly wanted in life. I was married for 24 years, married really young (19). I didn't know how to make it on my own. It was hard. With nothing but a beat up car to my name.
But through all my prayers, keeping the faith, things turned around. I stopped doing the bad things I was doing, started focusing on my life and future.. continued praying.. now I live on my own, have my own place, a dependable car, not a lot, but very humble with what I have. I seen the light at the end of that tunnel and it widened for me. I feel so independent now, working, doing, thinking about me for once.
Finally divorced in Jan 2011 and what a good outcome on everything!
I would never go back to that life I had. Jesus kept me strong to keep going and not give up! Believe me, it was hard for 2 yrs. But it is all better now and thank Jesus for helping me and blessing me, watching over me, even when I drifted, he was there.
You see, when I joined CF along time ago, I was married, living a miserable life with a man who I forgave and gave it to God to deal with. But CF kept me busy during that time, I met friends I will never forget, it made my faith stronger in Jesus, and kept my mind off the terrible things I was going though with my ex-husband. He was always out and almost every night with other woman, I didn't care, once you are cheated on, it does not phase you again. CF kept my mind on Jesus, friends, love, worship, praying and a lot of other stuff.
I will come back soon, been working many hours lately and do not have the time I use to. But I will be back. One thing CF taught me, we may not all come from the same denomination, group, or whomever we worship, but I was not the one to judge anyone on CF. It taught me to love everyone as I would want to be loved. Love one another, we are sisters and brothers, it is not me to be the judge of who should be what on here, whom to worship and so on.
I started to follow Jesus in 2004, that was my time. I cannot judge others when their time will be, or who they should worship.. we all have our own destinations and I leave that up to God to judge when their time will be or not. Be humble with all humility, and treat each other always with kindness, even when I am treated not good by another. I give it to God, pray for them and move on. That is what made me who I am today. More wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove.
To all my friends, if your reading this, I am doing great! Promise to be back, just wanted you all to know what I have gone through and how things have turned around for the better, and honestly, I did not want to come on CF to vent out my cries and I had a lot of anger also, did not want pity.. I know you all care and wondered what happened to Marina. But she is alive and well and still believing in the Lord Jesus Christ!
Regards dear friends, and maybe new ones,
always
Graceinhim - Marina
I left CF mostly after the sudden death of my beloved sister Carla, who was a member of CF also, happy she joined before she had taken her own life, she was miserable in her marriage and thought she had no way out, controlled, mentally abused and was told 1 week before she decided to do it, that her husband was leaving her for good. It is a long story, she confided in me, and brings closure to why did she do what she did. I know for sure she prayed hard before she did what she did, because she became so much into Jesus and always prayed with me when we spent time together.
I was mortified by losing her, no goodbyes, no last chance to hug her.. just suddenly and zap, she is gone! It took a toll on me.
You see, my life was similar to hers, my marriage was really bad, I acted like it was good to everyone else, but deep down inside, I hurt-ed for years from physical and mental abuse. Don't know why I stayed in it. But in April of 2009 I left and had no where to go, no money (he controlled everything, even finances). I cried, I wanted to do what she did, but something spiritually said NO! I was stronger.
I went to my mothers and lived with her for 2 years, while going through a divorce. It is hard living with other people and no privacy and so forth. Got on with my life, little by little.. climbing that tall mountain, praying and crying out to the Lord to help me. I became rebellious, going out drinking, re-bounding, loneliness, not knowing what I truly wanted in life. I was married for 24 years, married really young (19). I didn't know how to make it on my own. It was hard. With nothing but a beat up car to my name.
But through all my prayers, keeping the faith, things turned around. I stopped doing the bad things I was doing, started focusing on my life and future.. continued praying.. now I live on my own, have my own place, a dependable car, not a lot, but very humble with what I have. I seen the light at the end of that tunnel and it widened for me. I feel so independent now, working, doing, thinking about me for once.
Finally divorced in Jan 2011 and what a good outcome on everything!
I would never go back to that life I had. Jesus kept me strong to keep going and not give up! Believe me, it was hard for 2 yrs. But it is all better now and thank Jesus for helping me and blessing me, watching over me, even when I drifted, he was there.
You see, when I joined CF along time ago, I was married, living a miserable life with a man who I forgave and gave it to God to deal with. But CF kept me busy during that time, I met friends I will never forget, it made my faith stronger in Jesus, and kept my mind off the terrible things I was going though with my ex-husband. He was always out and almost every night with other woman, I didn't care, once you are cheated on, it does not phase you again. CF kept my mind on Jesus, friends, love, worship, praying and a lot of other stuff.
I will come back soon, been working many hours lately and do not have the time I use to. But I will be back. One thing CF taught me, we may not all come from the same denomination, group, or whomever we worship, but I was not the one to judge anyone on CF. It taught me to love everyone as I would want to be loved. Love one another, we are sisters and brothers, it is not me to be the judge of who should be what on here, whom to worship and so on.
I started to follow Jesus in 2004, that was my time. I cannot judge others when their time will be, or who they should worship.. we all have our own destinations and I leave that up to God to judge when their time will be or not. Be humble with all humility, and treat each other always with kindness, even when I am treated not good by another. I give it to God, pray for them and move on. That is what made me who I am today. More wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove.
To all my friends, if your reading this, I am doing great! Promise to be back, just wanted you all to know what I have gone through and how things have turned around for the better, and honestly, I did not want to come on CF to vent out my cries and I had a lot of anger also, did not want pity.. I know you all care and wondered what happened to Marina. But she is alive and well and still believing in the Lord Jesus Christ!
Regards dear friends, and maybe new ones,
always
Graceinhim - Marina
