Really, moments like those are humbling. I know this song relates (not about the money & the style part, but some other "things") . I know it wasn't out of my own self, one way or another the credit goes to God. Like in song "what they dont know".. they think "I'm so clean, think I'm so sweet." etc.. What I do got I've been given by God either through gifts or His
power to change, or His spirit in me... all from God (and for God & His glory). Even having the sense & dilligence to pray... there also an important principle in here- giving God credit.Without Him we wouldn't even be breathing, let alone anything else.
I was reading and thinking today in Proverbs (still my fave book) "the fear of the Lord is the benning of wisdom"... and other verses along those lines.Only God put sense in me (through His Spirt & Word) without Him I would fit the the typical pattern: self centered, hedonistic and possibly worse.
YouTube - God In Me (Live) - Mary Mary
This is so it right now. This video seems to capture my experience\my feeling & perception about my experience. I've felt just the way this video so clearly shows. Like many times the devil\ evil spirits ( and whom he might have been working through at the time) taking something that was
important to me, something that I was putting a lot into, a lot of my emotions, time, attention etc... then it is smashed before my eyes.
The relationships, ministry with people. Smashed and broken, often suddenly,
before my eyes.. and all the demonic and inner taunting & etc. that comes
after...another broken violin, and another... "I want to hope, but sometimes i just
don't know"...
So you wanna give up, move on,think you missed something somewhere, say it's
all too painful... and then God like the old man, comes and offers another
beautiful violin. Will I take a chance and receive it. Do I really have any
other choice? ("the gifts & calling of God are without repentance").It could be painful again, but surely worse if not. Worse to get out of Gods will (weather in the short or long run) .
YouTube - Fireflight - For Those Who Wait
I have to live like "today never happened before"
I didn't want to make any promises today and i didn't feel like hearing any. I guess because I do remember many a promise... that didn't hold up, that apparently meant nothing but were just words of hot air from being caught up in a moment (or whatever). They carried no weight.
So I feel after all this time, better not to promise the moon and the stars, better not to pledge undying whatever. Hmm for me and if great warm & fuzzy things come about- wonderful, but if destroyed...
I suppose though, what if another person isn't at that point, maybe I should
just go with it fortheir sake? Really I hope in my wanting to be an honest realist (or something like that for lack of a better word) hope I didn't come across cold, umoved & ungrateful, proud.
Yes I remember many a time that I was more than eloquent and gushing (if not
verbally, then in writing) eeks maybe even a bit histrionic?. I'm just not there now. And this was often when the other didn't give me a first or clear sign (whatever).
It's not about my feelings, it's about how much room and & expression I want
to make for those kinds of feelings (or think I should now).
And as always it comes down to, what does God want, here in a situation...
power to change, or His spirit in me... all from God (and for God & His glory). Even having the sense & dilligence to pray... there also an important principle in here- giving God credit.Without Him we wouldn't even be breathing, let alone anything else.
I was reading and thinking today in Proverbs (still my fave book) "the fear of the Lord is the benning of wisdom"... and other verses along those lines.Only God put sense in me (through His Spirt & Word) without Him I would fit the the typical pattern: self centered, hedonistic and possibly worse.
YouTube - God In Me (Live) - Mary Mary
This is so it right now. This video seems to capture my experience\my feeling & perception about my experience. I've felt just the way this video so clearly shows. Like many times the devil\ evil spirits ( and whom he might have been working through at the time) taking something that was
important to me, something that I was putting a lot into, a lot of my emotions, time, attention etc... then it is smashed before my eyes.
The relationships, ministry with people. Smashed and broken, often suddenly,
before my eyes.. and all the demonic and inner taunting & etc. that comes
after...another broken violin, and another... "I want to hope, but sometimes i just
don't know"...
So you wanna give up, move on,think you missed something somewhere, say it's
all too painful... and then God like the old man, comes and offers another
beautiful violin. Will I take a chance and receive it. Do I really have any
other choice? ("the gifts & calling of God are without repentance").It could be painful again, but surely worse if not. Worse to get out of Gods will (weather in the short or long run) .
YouTube - Fireflight - For Those Who Wait
I have to live like "today never happened before"
I didn't want to make any promises today and i didn't feel like hearing any. I guess because I do remember many a promise... that didn't hold up, that apparently meant nothing but were just words of hot air from being caught up in a moment (or whatever). They carried no weight.
So I feel after all this time, better not to promise the moon and the stars, better not to pledge undying whatever. Hmm for me and if great warm & fuzzy things come about- wonderful, but if destroyed...
I suppose though, what if another person isn't at that point, maybe I should
just go with it fortheir sake? Really I hope in my wanting to be an honest realist (or something like that for lack of a better word) hope I didn't come across cold, umoved & ungrateful, proud.
Yes I remember many a time that I was more than eloquent and gushing (if not
verbally, then in writing) eeks maybe even a bit histrionic?. I'm just not there now. And this was often when the other didn't give me a first or clear sign (whatever).
It's not about my feelings, it's about how much room and & expression I want
to make for those kinds of feelings (or think I should now).
And as always it comes down to, what does God want, here in a situation...
