Well something isn’t easy for me, even if it is God’s presence and His will coming to pass. This is being patient. I remembered different situations with certain people and then I remembered how God moved, but often step by step little by little. Sometimes things didn’t happen overnight He build them over time. When I look at it like that I feel discouraged, I think, “God I’m not getting any younger, I don’t have forever“…
If it will take that long I feel like I won’t be able to take it, I can’t wait that long. Do I have what it takes to hold out that long, to forebear and be patient? OK I don’t, but God you can help me. I remember this one situation, it was miniscule steps at first. I would wait for like two times a week to even just put in a “Hi” or some little thing. Then it progressed to larger words- communication. It was I couldn’t wait till Thurs. & Sun. over and over, week after week. I wonder if I have that kind of stamina now. I look back now, and think, that must have been God ‘cause that sure wasn’t me to be like that.
I remember how every little thing meant so much to me, how I just couldn’t wait, how I treasured each piece, each step. It wasn’t like I was “desperate” or something, I had a very full and busy life at the time, filled with lots of people and lots to deal with.
I feel that way again, Oh, it’s something else. Ha, even for a few seconds. Just to make that connection- to sense God’s presence there just for a bit… Is this how people who are addicted to drugs feel?
I loved drinking & getting drunk before I was saved, but not that much.
That’s what God has turned me into: I’m extreme all around. It’s easy for me to get bothered, get caught up in someone else’s pain, or go off into some emotional high.
I know I also have my own emotions that flow out of my own self, sometimes out of my flesh. Other times I know it’s God, the Holy Spirit causing some “feeling” in me.
God you gotta help me, ‘cause I want to know the end from the beginning, I don’t want to wait. It’s so hard. Yet I want to flow with you. I want the real thing.
There is a song that says “Better is 1 day in your courts than thousands elsewhere”
You are reminding me that even just one 1 drop of living water from you, is more satisfying than a river. Lord give me more of that living water, wherever- you are the source, I look for you, I seek for you.
Side note- It was so funny, I saw this person the other day, that God is dealing with me about. They had a nice long scarf on (their hair), the way I always wish I could do, but for whatever reason I can never get one to stay…We went through the usual routine. When they went to seat us they didn’t look at me directly(actually like they made it a point to look down), did this mean anything? Did they remember before, and they had felt awkward and didn’t know what to make of it, or was this nothing in particular? Then though, after we were trying to squish along and I didn’t know what to do. I guess she flagged the people to move, and I was relieved (hate to be in situations like that). I looked up and she gave me a big smile and to try to reassure me it worked and everything was OK. So, I sense “something” but it’s slow going. Praise God for His presence.
If it will take that long I feel like I won’t be able to take it, I can’t wait that long. Do I have what it takes to hold out that long, to forebear and be patient? OK I don’t, but God you can help me. I remember this one situation, it was miniscule steps at first. I would wait for like two times a week to even just put in a “Hi” or some little thing. Then it progressed to larger words- communication. It was I couldn’t wait till Thurs. & Sun. over and over, week after week. I wonder if I have that kind of stamina now. I look back now, and think, that must have been God ‘cause that sure wasn’t me to be like that.
I remember how every little thing meant so much to me, how I just couldn’t wait, how I treasured each piece, each step. It wasn’t like I was “desperate” or something, I had a very full and busy life at the time, filled with lots of people and lots to deal with.
I feel that way again, Oh, it’s something else. Ha, even for a few seconds. Just to make that connection- to sense God’s presence there just for a bit… Is this how people who are addicted to drugs feel?I loved drinking & getting drunk before I was saved, but not that much.
That’s what God has turned me into: I’m extreme all around. It’s easy for me to get bothered, get caught up in someone else’s pain, or go off into some emotional high.
I know I also have my own emotions that flow out of my own self, sometimes out of my flesh. Other times I know it’s God, the Holy Spirit causing some “feeling” in me.
God you gotta help me, ‘cause I want to know the end from the beginning, I don’t want to wait. It’s so hard. Yet I want to flow with you. I want the real thing.
There is a song that says “Better is 1 day in your courts than thousands elsewhere”
You are reminding me that even just one 1 drop of living water from you, is more satisfying than a river. Lord give me more of that living water, wherever- you are the source, I look for you, I seek for you.
Side note- It was so funny, I saw this person the other day, that God is dealing with me about. They had a nice long scarf on (their hair), the way I always wish I could do, but for whatever reason I can never get one to stay…We went through the usual routine. When they went to seat us they didn’t look at me directly(actually like they made it a point to look down), did this mean anything? Did they remember before, and they had felt awkward and didn’t know what to make of it, or was this nothing in particular? Then though, after we were trying to squish along and I didn’t know what to do. I guess she flagged the people to move, and I was relieved (hate to be in situations like that). I looked up and she gave me a big smile and to try to reassure me it worked and everything was OK. So, I sense “something” but it’s slow going. Praise God for His presence.
