I am self focused,again in the wrong place picking my flaws one by one and over analyze my past mistakes.Every day is a mistake.every day could be better,every day is a day lost for me in secular terms and christian terms.
If I would die tomorrow I would not see my creator.Maybe because I am depressed,and my life does not gravitate around God.I don't know if I can have the strenght to love that much someone who is perfection Itself yet invisible.
How could I say I don't walk alone when I see nobody around me,even when my prayers get listened I don't know where I am,I am not saved.He is not my only focus.I want to be successful and I want to be loved and appreciated because most of the time I received the opposite.
I have no idea how to live being this painfully lonely yet knowing I am not alone.
If I would die tomorrow I would not see my creator.Maybe because I am depressed,and my life does not gravitate around God.I don't know if I can have the strenght to love that much someone who is perfection Itself yet invisible.
How could I say I don't walk alone when I see nobody around me,even when my prayers get listened I don't know where I am,I am not saved.He is not my only focus.I want to be successful and I want to be loved and appreciated because most of the time I received the opposite.
I have no idea how to live being this painfully lonely yet knowing I am not alone.
