How Did I Get Here ? Part 2

I eventually I had a breakdown trying to deal with the ever increasing stress. I felt unsupported at work by a manager who didn't understand and just thought I was lazy, I felt if I lost my job (one that I enjoyed) my life would just come to and end, I'd be homeless and alone (none of which was likely to ever happen) every day felt like my last except no one had told me when my execution was. My mental and physical state deteriorated to such a point that I was having to concerntrate just to think straight. I wasn't sleeping because of my fears and it took all my effort not to break down in tears and the final straw came when my manager told me I could face being disciplined because I was failing in my job. I was convinced at this point my life as I had known it was over, this lead to me feeling so low I contemplated suicide. I would look at bridges and wonder if I jumped would it be quick and kill me, I imagined stepping out in front of a heavy lorry and just letting it run me over, at least then this living hell would end. I broke down at work and was eventually taken to hospital where I wound up in a room with bars on the window as they were concerned I was a suicide risk. I spent several days in this room crying, thinking my life really had hit rock bottom. Everything had become mechanical, like I was going through the motions of living but not really caring, I was locked up in hospital without hope of ever having a life in my mind.