Uh so Well I would have like to gone to see Sarah Palin, but oh well.
Now this little surburb is big news huh, Ha I clicked that little "like " button - but quickly remembered and undid it... had to remember to keep my cards close to me. Not that I "intend" on playing them, the stakes are too high. I feel bad for the girls caught in the middle I bet they don't even care much about the issue- they just worked hard to get that far with their game and now they're just some pawns being used for show. I also bet most of the people don't know much about hispanics except that they can take care of their houses & do the gardening (no offence). I'll bet the majority don't even have any hispanic friends, and probably look down on them anyway- they are just cheap tax free labor... (no offence).
Hey I'll be honest I didn't know much either until I became a Christian- I don't think I had any hispanic friends before...ok 1 when I was like 8 and she wasn't even a good friend- Vivian (I have a good memory when it comes to people)..uh and I almost dated a hispanic guy during summer school- Pedro but he was in a gang and to be honest I just wasn't used to talking to a hispanic guy, we talked on the phone it was so uncomfortable...Oh yea and how could I forget that other guy who tried to rape me (his name I can't remember right now). I found out T knew him...he was a real ----jerk to say the least. That's it.
Then I beome a Christian & everything turns upside down. But anyways the point is even though I have my other beliefs on immigration at least I try to see people as people and and not titles or according to their income. It doesn't matter what job someone has. That's not what matters- what God looks at. Sure I think one should aspire to more if they can. If not, so what. Thats one thing I don't miss about my mother...our arguments. To her everyone was a job title, degree & or an IQ number. That's how she judged people. To her intellegence & education was god. I tried to tell her that's not what's most important- of course she wouldn't listen to me, I didn't know anything...
So needless to say I could care less about those things (even before I was saved).
Ug I had my ignorance though too, when I was a kid I did actually think someone was less intellegent if they couldn't speak english (however I didn't think they were less of a person or of less worth because of that).
Now I know better, I think a lot of it depends on environment/nurture,hard-work & focus on such things. There are lots of hispanics that excel academically- if given the right environment & opportunities, In fact I know some of them lol close to one I consider one of the most "intellegent" people I know who is a teacher working on her masters, and a now relative who has a Phd in sociology? and she has published some books..just to name 2 close by.
I'm not impressed by much. Ha I guess I still have issues to deal with, probably a hold over from my mother....
The most important thing to me whether or not the person is a "good person' esp. meaning not malicious & caring about, helping others.
I guess I must admit I am a bit impressed by ambition, people to are ambitious who have goals and work hard towards them. People who always seem to be going forward. My greatest source of my own frustrations...
Ha, but on the other hand I can't stand people (esp women) who are like that but are ruthless & step on others in order to get where they want to go. When I was younger I vowed I didn't want to be like that...I guess my mother was. So if it's a choice between the two though, being a "good"/kind/caring person is more important..( but if you can be both, uh maybe like Sarah Palin, then to me it's the best of all worlds).
Speaking of (again) lol I don't think I have any "heros" except God...but I do think Sarah Palin is a good role model. I've told my little girl when you grow up you can be like that lady- Sarah Palin... then my girl says, "Mommy I don't want to be like her, I want to grow up to be like you!":o
Well as long as she grows up to use whatever gifts & talents God has given her, to the best of her ability...if she receives my beliefs (which I have found to be true according to the Bible, and the best & wisest focus for life) then I'm happy- thats the most I can ask of her.
Now for a completely different subject...
I'm telling myself to do just that- go forward, not be caught up thinking about the past. I heard part of a teaching by some lady yesterday, it was one that I had heard part of before - the same part... and she's talking about how she's this kind of person who is very loyal and thinks a certain way about relationships... then she talks about God dealing with her., ug. She's like God spoke to her about how not all relationships have to are supposed to last (she's the type like me that would want them to)... that God was telling her some are just for seasons or a season... I didn't/don't like the sound of that.. she didn't either.
I'm the type that doesn't like to let go of anything, likes to keep everyone around (at whatever distance but still "there"), thinks if you are a friend it should be forever. Kind of an HPD type thinking, to be able to come in and out of someones life (and vise versa) but somehow always be connected ( I guess that's why I like FB).
She was saying God was saying it didn't have to be that way. I guess I can accept that in some cases... I guess that answers my bewilderment over how can some relationships be so close for a time and then - poof all that is gone? I guess yea it was real...now it's a different season. And even though I'm always ready to pick whatever as fresh as if it were yesterday- other people don't feel the same way ( I "feel" that out and try not to move on anything that doesn't seem reciprocal).
It came to me (while doing the dishes) that yes I am a very relational person if given the chance & time... it just doesn't seem those factors are there as much right now. I would be IF, if it wasn't for all this practical stuff, the practical things of life really "get in my way", in the way of that...
But maybe that's God's way of balancing me out, yea I think so...
Grr the signal just went out...should I write this all over? (I didn't save it all right away
...)
OK...so I guess I feel hurt/sad, I haven't felt this way in awhile (except in having to do with my other half). This is over SOMEONE who hasn't really responded to me after they friended me. I don't think it's coming all out of my own head, like I was reading into something, hoping something out of thin air. I mean if you see someone in person and they keep hugging you and telling you they want to get together to do such & such.... I didnh't imagine that it was what it was. I hate, I mean HATE, when people are phoney. Please, spare me. I'm too old to be playing games. If thats how you really feel (or don't feel) then it would be better to not even go there...like don't even touch me (let alone 3 big hugs in like 20 min) don't use the ol "let's get together" ok I know that can be a fake social thing- but then if they get specific, that takes it to another level...
Anyway, better if you think you have to do some social routine- just do the hi and by thing...so I'm a bit discouraged & bothered. Maybe it's partly my own fault for hoping...
I guess I just got to let it go.
I don't think they're trying to be mean/cold...I've always thought they had a problem with fear (an they admitted they had a problem with anxiety)... so maybe they're afraid of getting into it with me again, all the church stuff, like I'm going to put pressure on them to go to church. On the other hand though I get the sense they can be phoney sometimes because they want to please people/be nice and all. And, the hugging & smiles is just part of their regular personality (kind of like an HPD type) towards most people ( unless they really despise a person). Thinking outloud now...I guess that's all I can do- just let it go, and try not to think about it, kill any feeeling that I have, hope that I had.
I did my part, if they want to pick up the friendship again, I'm easy to find.
I know some that would, and some that wouldn't bother (even if they were curious) but I'm not sure which group she falls in. I don't know if she might dig around ( a popular word these days for that is "stalk"- but I hate how people use it now- too commmon like. I mean like come on a real "stalker" is someone who intends evil.)..and not let me know...oh well I can't think about that...maybe it's not the "season"
OK God, what season is it then??
song for them/ that reminds me of them (for no particular reason other than I was listening a lot to this song and it was a fave of mine during the time we were close)
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]YouTube - Ultrabeat - Deeper than oceans[/FONT]
Just In Case...
For someone who's name isn't Sally. ROFL
When I see the pics, it's soo hard to believe this is the same person (I still like the work pic the best-but hey that's just me, doesn't matter). I know I'm not the same in most ways either. So I look not by the natural, but by what I sense, by trying to still see the soul & what i still feel. Seems like Fiction alright...my song for this person (sidenote- I have to be careful watching this vid, the singer is just too attractive whichever his weight- that musician antisocial extreme dramatic type, not to mention the voice...lol probably all illusion anyway)
YouTube - Kids In The Way - Fiction
...yea, so anyway... it came to me I think I know why or possible reasons why I was dropped... but why did sally drop another of their good/best friends??? What's with that? Either that or there's something complicated and mysterious still going on underground, like really underground. Ha since that's still going on/up in the air- I assume nothing, I take no special "privilages" upon myself. I learned (maybe the hard way) that however someone treats another what makes you think they won't turn and treat you the same way (kind of like the watch how a guy treats his mom & sisters kind of thing).Why should I assume that even if a place has been made for me, that I somehow would be the only one. What's that saying about get burned once it's their fault but if it happens more than that, it's your own fault...So it's nice but I'm not in LaLa land thinking anything is something for my behalf.. I take it as it comes (or goes)
Now this little surburb is big news huh, Ha I clicked that little "like " button - but quickly remembered and undid it... had to remember to keep my cards close to me. Not that I "intend" on playing them, the stakes are too high. I feel bad for the girls caught in the middle I bet they don't even care much about the issue- they just worked hard to get that far with their game and now they're just some pawns being used for show. I also bet most of the people don't know much about hispanics except that they can take care of their houses & do the gardening (no offence). I'll bet the majority don't even have any hispanic friends, and probably look down on them anyway- they are just cheap tax free labor... (no offence).
Hey I'll be honest I didn't know much either until I became a Christian- I don't think I had any hispanic friends before...ok 1 when I was like 8 and she wasn't even a good friend- Vivian (I have a good memory when it comes to people)..uh and I almost dated a hispanic guy during summer school- Pedro but he was in a gang and to be honest I just wasn't used to talking to a hispanic guy, we talked on the phone it was so uncomfortable...Oh yea and how could I forget that other guy who tried to rape me (his name I can't remember right now). I found out T knew him...he was a real ----jerk to say the least. That's it.
Then I beome a Christian & everything turns upside down. But anyways the point is even though I have my other beliefs on immigration at least I try to see people as people and and not titles or according to their income. It doesn't matter what job someone has. That's not what matters- what God looks at. Sure I think one should aspire to more if they can. If not, so what. Thats one thing I don't miss about my mother...our arguments. To her everyone was a job title, degree & or an IQ number. That's how she judged people. To her intellegence & education was god. I tried to tell her that's not what's most important- of course she wouldn't listen to me, I didn't know anything...
So needless to say I could care less about those things (even before I was saved).
Ug I had my ignorance though too, when I was a kid I did actually think someone was less intellegent if they couldn't speak english (however I didn't think they were less of a person or of less worth because of that).
Now I know better, I think a lot of it depends on environment/nurture,hard-work & focus on such things. There are lots of hispanics that excel academically- if given the right environment & opportunities, In fact I know some of them lol close to one I consider one of the most "intellegent" people I know who is a teacher working on her masters, and a now relative who has a Phd in sociology? and she has published some books..just to name 2 close by.
I'm not impressed by much. Ha I guess I still have issues to deal with, probably a hold over from my mother....
The most important thing to me whether or not the person is a "good person' esp. meaning not malicious & caring about, helping others.
I guess I must admit I am a bit impressed by ambition, people to are ambitious who have goals and work hard towards them. People who always seem to be going forward. My greatest source of my own frustrations...
Ha, but on the other hand I can't stand people (esp women) who are like that but are ruthless & step on others in order to get where they want to go. When I was younger I vowed I didn't want to be like that...I guess my mother was. So if it's a choice between the two though, being a "good"/kind/caring person is more important..( but if you can be both, uh maybe like Sarah Palin, then to me it's the best of all worlds).
Speaking of (again) lol I don't think I have any "heros" except God...but I do think Sarah Palin is a good role model. I've told my little girl when you grow up you can be like that lady- Sarah Palin... then my girl says, "Mommy I don't want to be like her, I want to grow up to be like you!":o
Well as long as she grows up to use whatever gifts & talents God has given her, to the best of her ability...if she receives my beliefs (which I have found to be true according to the Bible, and the best & wisest focus for life) then I'm happy- thats the most I can ask of her.
Now for a completely different subject...
I'm telling myself to do just that- go forward, not be caught up thinking about the past. I heard part of a teaching by some lady yesterday, it was one that I had heard part of before - the same part... and she's talking about how she's this kind of person who is very loyal and thinks a certain way about relationships... then she talks about God dealing with her., ug. She's like God spoke to her about how not all relationships have to are supposed to last (she's the type like me that would want them to)... that God was telling her some are just for seasons or a season... I didn't/don't like the sound of that.. she didn't either.
I'm the type that doesn't like to let go of anything, likes to keep everyone around (at whatever distance but still "there"), thinks if you are a friend it should be forever. Kind of an HPD type thinking, to be able to come in and out of someones life (and vise versa) but somehow always be connected ( I guess that's why I like FB).
She was saying God was saying it didn't have to be that way. I guess I can accept that in some cases... I guess that answers my bewilderment over how can some relationships be so close for a time and then - poof all that is gone? I guess yea it was real...now it's a different season. And even though I'm always ready to pick whatever as fresh as if it were yesterday- other people don't feel the same way ( I "feel" that out and try not to move on anything that doesn't seem reciprocal).
It came to me (while doing the dishes) that yes I am a very relational person if given the chance & time... it just doesn't seem those factors are there as much right now. I would be IF, if it wasn't for all this practical stuff, the practical things of life really "get in my way", in the way of that...
But maybe that's God's way of balancing me out, yea I think so...
Grr the signal just went out...should I write this all over? (I didn't save it all right away
...)OK...so I guess I feel hurt/sad, I haven't felt this way in awhile (except in having to do with my other half). This is over SOMEONE who hasn't really responded to me after they friended me. I don't think it's coming all out of my own head, like I was reading into something, hoping something out of thin air. I mean if you see someone in person and they keep hugging you and telling you they want to get together to do such & such.... I didnh't imagine that it was what it was. I hate, I mean HATE, when people are phoney. Please, spare me. I'm too old to be playing games. If thats how you really feel (or don't feel) then it would be better to not even go there...like don't even touch me (let alone 3 big hugs in like 20 min) don't use the ol "let's get together" ok I know that can be a fake social thing- but then if they get specific, that takes it to another level...
Anyway, better if you think you have to do some social routine- just do the hi and by thing...so I'm a bit discouraged & bothered. Maybe it's partly my own fault for hoping...
I guess I just got to let it go.
I don't think they're trying to be mean/cold...I've always thought they had a problem with fear (an they admitted they had a problem with anxiety)... so maybe they're afraid of getting into it with me again, all the church stuff, like I'm going to put pressure on them to go to church. On the other hand though I get the sense they can be phoney sometimes because they want to please people/be nice and all. And, the hugging & smiles is just part of their regular personality (kind of like an HPD type) towards most people ( unless they really despise a person). Thinking outloud now...I guess that's all I can do- just let it go, and try not to think about it, kill any feeeling that I have, hope that I had.
I did my part, if they want to pick up the friendship again, I'm easy to find.
I know some that would, and some that wouldn't bother (even if they were curious) but I'm not sure which group she falls in. I don't know if she might dig around ( a popular word these days for that is "stalk"- but I hate how people use it now- too commmon like. I mean like come on a real "stalker" is someone who intends evil.)..and not let me know...oh well I can't think about that...maybe it's not the "season"
OK God, what season is it then??
song for them/ that reminds me of them (for no particular reason other than I was listening a lot to this song and it was a fave of mine during the time we were close)
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]YouTube - Ultrabeat - Deeper than oceans[/FONT]
Just In Case...
For someone who's name isn't Sally. ROFL
When I see the pics, it's soo hard to believe this is the same person (I still like the work pic the best-but hey that's just me, doesn't matter). I know I'm not the same in most ways either. So I look not by the natural, but by what I sense, by trying to still see the soul & what i still feel. Seems like Fiction alright...my song for this person (sidenote- I have to be careful watching this vid, the singer is just too attractive whichever his weight- that musician antisocial extreme dramatic type, not to mention the voice...lol probably all illusion anyway)
YouTube - Kids In The Way - Fiction
...yea, so anyway... it came to me I think I know why or possible reasons why I was dropped... but why did sally drop another of their good/best friends??? What's with that? Either that or there's something complicated and mysterious still going on underground, like really underground. Ha since that's still going on/up in the air- I assume nothing, I take no special "privilages" upon myself. I learned (maybe the hard way) that however someone treats another what makes you think they won't turn and treat you the same way (kind of like the watch how a guy treats his mom & sisters kind of thing).Why should I assume that even if a place has been made for me, that I somehow would be the only one. What's that saying about get burned once it's their fault but if it happens more than that, it's your own fault...So it's nice but I'm not in LaLa land thinking anything is something for my behalf.. I take it as it comes (or goes)
