I write best at night. But lately I haven't been able to write. Partly because I need sleep and night time is the best time to sleep.
But tonight I'm up thus since most of my stuff is caught up and completed, I can write for a second.
I don't like the lesson I've been learning lately but I really don't have a choice. Somethings just happen and you can't even avoid them. This is clearly one of them. I'll admit this. My writing is weak right now and I think that's partly because its under attack. So my analogies are not strong and my comparisons are of apples and oranges.
Grief is probably one of the most unexplainable but fascinating things I've been a front row participator too. Every human responds differently to grief. Some of us cry while some of deny what's going on. Some of us get angry and some of us stay busy. The reality is this we all live with our defense mechanisms.
Defense Mechanisms is something I deal with every day. Blame shifting, rationalizing, minimizing or excusing ourselves from having to face reality. Reality is simple even though it is cold, stubborn and the sharpest piece of glass we've ever had to touch. Reality hurts. Grief hurts. I think we don't face reality because we don't want to be reminded that we are in essence not in control. We plan, we dream, we scheme, we believe but life never asks us what we want. Life just happens to us and then we have to learn how to breathe and push on and go forth.
The sad thing is, is some of us never go on. We stay living in the past of a forgotten yesterday that haunts us every night and every day. We live in our fears because we are afraid that we can never be anything but what we are. Yet, we know we don't even want to be who we are.
Grief stings. Sometimes you look for the promises that were supposed to be fulfilled and realized they weren't. So many promise to be there not realizing they could never promise that in the first place. They just didn't know what else to say so instead of being wise and saying nothing, they spoke a cliche. I've watched over the last several weeks that people just don't want to live in reality.
So they hide behind the facade that doesn't really cover up the truth. People make excuses and fail to take responsibility for their actions. They blame the one grieving and want them to reach out because its easier for them.
i think the job that I have allows me to see into people's lives. Past all the pretty wrapping on the exterior, I've learned to look inside and see people who they really are. Misguided at times but for the most part trying to live.
Grief stinks.
But tonight I'm up thus since most of my stuff is caught up and completed, I can write for a second.
I don't like the lesson I've been learning lately but I really don't have a choice. Somethings just happen and you can't even avoid them. This is clearly one of them. I'll admit this. My writing is weak right now and I think that's partly because its under attack. So my analogies are not strong and my comparisons are of apples and oranges.
Grief is probably one of the most unexplainable but fascinating things I've been a front row participator too. Every human responds differently to grief. Some of us cry while some of deny what's going on. Some of us get angry and some of us stay busy. The reality is this we all live with our defense mechanisms.
Defense Mechanisms is something I deal with every day. Blame shifting, rationalizing, minimizing or excusing ourselves from having to face reality. Reality is simple even though it is cold, stubborn and the sharpest piece of glass we've ever had to touch. Reality hurts. Grief hurts. I think we don't face reality because we don't want to be reminded that we are in essence not in control. We plan, we dream, we scheme, we believe but life never asks us what we want. Life just happens to us and then we have to learn how to breathe and push on and go forth.
The sad thing is, is some of us never go on. We stay living in the past of a forgotten yesterday that haunts us every night and every day. We live in our fears because we are afraid that we can never be anything but what we are. Yet, we know we don't even want to be who we are.
Grief stings. Sometimes you look for the promises that were supposed to be fulfilled and realized they weren't. So many promise to be there not realizing they could never promise that in the first place. They just didn't know what else to say so instead of being wise and saying nothing, they spoke a cliche. I've watched over the last several weeks that people just don't want to live in reality.
So they hide behind the facade that doesn't really cover up the truth. People make excuses and fail to take responsibility for their actions. They blame the one grieving and want them to reach out because its easier for them.
i think the job that I have allows me to see into people's lives. Past all the pretty wrapping on the exterior, I've learned to look inside and see people who they really are. Misguided at times but for the most part trying to live.
Grief stinks.
