Hi. I had an okay day today. I gave some money to some poor people. It made me feel good, although I probably shouldn't have done it because I don't have much money myself. I worked on some paperwork for school also, and played a video game for a few hours. All in all, this weekend was pretty good. On Saturday I watched a movie with my parents and they really enjoyed it.
Everyone says that God loves me, so I'm going to try to believe it. In my heart and in my mind, I really believe he hates me. However, everyone says that he loves me, so I want to try to believe that. I'm really worried that I will go to hell this Christmas season. A message I found on my pants said "Have a very merry hell." So I started believing that I would go to hell for Christmas.
The evil voice in my head continues to laugh at me. He says that he knows the future and I'm already in hell and I will never get out. I also drew a cartoon with Jesus and in the cartoon Jesus said that he already sent me to hell. So I feel like it is all over. However, everyone in the real world keeps telling me that God still loves me. I have a hard time believing it though.
I really wish I could find a way out of this nightmare. I have many blessings, but I have a hard time concentrating on them. I usually see my shortcomings and focus on those. I really feel like I'm a bad person. I have a hard time believing that I am saved. I keep thinking that I did something to lose my salvation.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
SnowTiger
Everyone says that God loves me, so I'm going to try to believe it. In my heart and in my mind, I really believe he hates me. However, everyone says that he loves me, so I want to try to believe that. I'm really worried that I will go to hell this Christmas season. A message I found on my pants said "Have a very merry hell." So I started believing that I would go to hell for Christmas.
The evil voice in my head continues to laugh at me. He says that he knows the future and I'm already in hell and I will never get out. I also drew a cartoon with Jesus and in the cartoon Jesus said that he already sent me to hell. So I feel like it is all over. However, everyone in the real world keeps telling me that God still loves me. I have a hard time believing it though.
I really wish I could find a way out of this nightmare. I have many blessings, but I have a hard time concentrating on them. I usually see my shortcomings and focus on those. I really feel like I'm a bad person. I have a hard time believing that I am saved. I keep thinking that I did something to lose my salvation.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
SnowTiger
