Consecrated and Broken

This was first published on facebook April 5th, 2007
Just thought I would share here.

I had the fantastic honor of sharing in communion with a friend of mine today. We sat outside on our college campus in a fairly isolated and quiet spot. We took time to reflect and make sure our hearts were right before God. We said the Lord's Prayer and read from the Beatitudes and Matthew 26, sarting with the 26th verse recounting the Last Supper. We then blessed the bread and the wine and closed with a prayer to lay ourselves before God's Altar and make a sacrifice to Him.

I can hardly begin to describe how this personal communion ceremony, taking place outside of the church building, away from the chains of tradition that we often cling to, has come to make me see a new significance in partaking of the Lord's Cup. His body broken for us. His blood poured out for us. Why would any man choose such a thing? Why would we choose such a thing?

So often we remember that Christ is the fullness of Deity in bodily form, but we forget that He also walked the earth fully as a man. He could feel pain and sorrow just as we do. I'm sure he felt the searing pain of each lash of the whip and that His heart broke when all His disciples were scattered like sheep without a shepherd.

Yes, he knew these things would happen and he knew the outcome, but that doesn't necessarily make you feel great when you are going through it. We know that we will spend an eternity with Christ and we know that the days we spend on this earth will be brutal at times. Does that keep us from feeling the physical pain or emotional hurts? I think everyone would have to answer a resounding, "NO."

However, I have to admit that, though I had never exactly said it or thought it, somewhere inside I had this assumption that following Christ would lessen my emotional pain, that joy should come easily with no other emotions to get in the way. I did not want to be broken, beaten, worn-out, or empty. If my heart was broken, then I must have been doing somethig wrong. I never would have thought this was acceptable to God.

Along the way, I realized that God can use broken people, but I still hadn't gotten too deep into this idea. Until today, when I realized that Christ was broken for us, and so, we also, if we are to take up our crosses and die daily, must be broken. I believe Angela Thomas puts it wonderfully in her book, A Beautiful Offering:

"Jesus wants you to know that when you are broken, shivering, alone, or afraid, with nothing left and nowhere to go, then you can turn in His direction and lay yourself at the foot of His love. Lay your broken offering on His altar. He will come and carry you into His presence. He will hold you with the warmth of His embrace and cover you with the blanket of His kingdom inheritance.

"God wants you to know that when everything else is gone, that makes more room for Him, and every time there is more room for Him, you are blessed." (p.18-19)

Because of many things in my past, I have trouble aknowledging my emotions at times and often push past any hurt I feel. I pick up the pieces and move on, because if no one sees me shattered, then maybe I can be strong. I have even wanted to keep my shattered self from the Lord, fearing that I would disappoint him with my heartache and emptiness. But today, I give up all the pieces to my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I rejoice that it is a beautiful offering, acceptable to the Lord. I will no longer be ashamed when my heart is broken, when my spirit is broken, and I am absolutely empty, because it is then that Jesus can fill me.

I pray that we may be filled with hope and may truly know the deep abiding love of Jesus Christ. Thank you all so much for your prayers and encouragement. I know that they have helped me press deeper into my journey of consecration with the Lord. May He truly overwhelm you with blessings, and I will continue to keep you updated.

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