I have said in my earlier blog entry that as a new entry I would report on my four sessions with my counsellor one at a time. It appears those sessions have been abandoned (unless I want them), but the talk therapy using WhatsApp (for which there is no charge) with him is going ahead and is helping.
Our home help, connected through him, is very helpful and fully committed and I feel I need to report on this in this entry but I have to postpone my writing at the moment. I will use the excellent edit facility here.
OK, I am not sure where to begin. A lot has transpired between my counsellor and myself, but I will first describe a recent exchange. My wife and myself had one of our awful rows (she beats me verbally with a stick, reminiscent of the beating children still get here in Barbados, and which she received as a child), and our home help was present, who is connected with my counsellor. I reported it to my counsellor but here in Barbados it appears to be the norm, therefore there have been no encouraging or supportive responses from anyone. I am on my own, and continue to pray to God.
This is a blog entry into my blog entitled Christian Anarchism, and I am not relinquishing that association. I have been an anarchist since my mid-twenties, and interested in Christian Anarchism since I read Tolstoy's "The Kingdom of God is Within You" in 1990 and then married my beautiful Christian wife in 1993. Tolstoy gives a very detailed account of how he witnessed soldiers beating peasants to impress upon them their authority. I was already an anarchist and then I was a member of STOPP (Society of Teachers Opposed to Physical Punishment) who were instrumental in getting the UK government to ban corporal punishment in schools. Some countries have now passed laws to prevent parents from physically hitting their children. I want to be in Barbados with my wife but it is a hard road to travel.
All my friends and relatives are very concerned about me, but there is little they can do, what I need is serious support therapy which costs money which we do not have. My counsellor, in his professional business, charges 220B$ per hour for a home visit, but he responds to my WhatsApp messages for free, which is very good.
All I have is to pray to God.
The latest developments are that I have told my counsellor that I am having suicidal thoughts, but I do not think I am suicidal. I rang the Samaritans and Peter there suggested I should try to make interesting chat with my grown-up nieces and nephews, some of them use Facebook. I hope to try. My counsellor said I need to contact my doctor which may result in a referral to a psychiatrist. That is money I do not have, if I go to the local clinic here in Barbados, free on the NHS, I could be admitted to the mental hospital as a danger to myself if not others. My own doctor (private) says he is very busy with Covid but will come as soon as he can. I wait, pray to God, and potter about the house to avoid suicidal feelings, and use my blog entries as talk therapy. Thank you for reading.
Our home help, connected through him, is very helpful and fully committed and I feel I need to report on this in this entry but I have to postpone my writing at the moment. I will use the excellent edit facility here.
OK, I am not sure where to begin. A lot has transpired between my counsellor and myself, but I will first describe a recent exchange. My wife and myself had one of our awful rows (she beats me verbally with a stick, reminiscent of the beating children still get here in Barbados, and which she received as a child), and our home help was present, who is connected with my counsellor. I reported it to my counsellor but here in Barbados it appears to be the norm, therefore there have been no encouraging or supportive responses from anyone. I am on my own, and continue to pray to God.
This is a blog entry into my blog entitled Christian Anarchism, and I am not relinquishing that association. I have been an anarchist since my mid-twenties, and interested in Christian Anarchism since I read Tolstoy's "The Kingdom of God is Within You" in 1990 and then married my beautiful Christian wife in 1993. Tolstoy gives a very detailed account of how he witnessed soldiers beating peasants to impress upon them their authority. I was already an anarchist and then I was a member of STOPP (Society of Teachers Opposed to Physical Punishment) who were instrumental in getting the UK government to ban corporal punishment in schools. Some countries have now passed laws to prevent parents from physically hitting their children. I want to be in Barbados with my wife but it is a hard road to travel.
All my friends and relatives are very concerned about me, but there is little they can do, what I need is serious support therapy which costs money which we do not have. My counsellor, in his professional business, charges 220B$ per hour for a home visit, but he responds to my WhatsApp messages for free, which is very good.
All I have is to pray to God.
The latest developments are that I have told my counsellor that I am having suicidal thoughts, but I do not think I am suicidal. I rang the Samaritans and Peter there suggested I should try to make interesting chat with my grown-up nieces and nephews, some of them use Facebook. I hope to try. My counsellor said I need to contact my doctor which may result in a referral to a psychiatrist. That is money I do not have, if I go to the local clinic here in Barbados, free on the NHS, I could be admitted to the mental hospital as a danger to myself if not others. My own doctor (private) says he is very busy with Covid but will come as soon as he can. I wait, pray to God, and potter about the house to avoid suicidal feelings, and use my blog entries as talk therapy. Thank you for reading.
