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I cut myself on Sunday, I hadn't done that for a few weeks. It's been a long time since I purged, which I guess is a good thing. I feel guilty for it, but I'm trying, I really am. I just...ache, I guess. Everywhere, in my heart, my bones...I finally managed to go to school last week, after...
Evelyn
Jay is gone.
Austin is gone.
Pepper isn't Pepper, Mel is silent and acting weird. I'm alone again.
I'm left alone again. This always happens, once things start to look up, something snatches it away, rips it to bits and leaves me b r o k e n and going crazy. Maybe I wasn't good enough...
I'm no longer a teenager, but an adult as of the 7th of November.
I feel called to join the Army, but at the same time, I don't want to. I wouldn't be able to go through with it, and to go off to any wars and kill people who are doing what they're told to do by their leader, just as we are...