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Blog entries by cedric1200

cedric1200
1 min read
Views
141
General
I haven't posting on here. I have been lazy. So we have new neighbors. Am I going to meet them? Probably not. But am I going to want to meet them? Probably. But it wouldn't be right. I am way too narcissistic. But if I don't control my mind, I will compulse. I need to find another outlet...
cedric1200
2 min read
Views
101
General
People tell me all the time that I should not refer myself as gay. I don't get it. I have to tell people. I don't want people to love for being they think I am. I don't want people to be loving and nice to me and then later hate me because they somehow found out. Believe or not, it's happen to...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
62
General
Today is going to be a good day. I will keep my mind occupied. Who cares if people don't talk to me? Who cares about them? They are worthless, and I don't need them. I am happy to be alone. I can learn a new dance. I can learn a new song. I can continue to post on CF. I can watch funny...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
86
General
Well, yesterday I spoke to some of my neighbors. I felt out of place. I felt that they did not want me there. I'm not going to do that again. All they were talking about was our other neighbors leaving and being evicted. Very interesting. I don't know why I care if my neighbors talk to...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
55
General
Today was awesome. I compulsed a little, but I was able to talk myself out of it. I know I don't need to be liked or loved. People are fading away. They will let you down; but I may let them down as well. Both insidences don't feel good. I just need to make myself happy and enjoy life. I...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
80
General
As I have said before, I am very narcissistic. I want people to give to me, not the other way around. But that is going to stop. What if I did random acts of kindness anonymously? It has to be anonymous, for I'll expect praise, and would get offended if I did not get it. I mean, what do you...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
64
General
What causes fear in me? What causes jealousy in me? I don't know. They seem to go hand in hand in my life. I am afraid to even look at people, especially my neighbors, because if I see them enjoying themselves with each other, I get devestated. I want to be included. No, actually, I want them to...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
63
General
This getting irritating: more compulsing. My fears are extremely strong. I don't even know what I am afraid of. This just comes randomly and for no reason. Sometimes, actually most of the times, it's the activity outside. I hear them. They are enjoying each other's company. And I am left out...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
68
General
Good morning to those of you who don't read my blogs. I have a problem. I am still angry about my past: the disrespect, the name calling, the isolation, the no friends environment, the hatred I endured, the favoritism, etc. Why can't I let it go? Do I write to my parents to tell them all...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
63
General
Guess what? I went outside yesterday. That is nothing to you; but it's a breakthrough for me. I have been coped up in my apartment afraid to leave, for I feared the neighbors. I thought they would be uncomfortable with me. But who cares? I pay rent just like them. This place is mine just...
cedric1200
2 min read
Views
55
General
I want to have an exciting life. I want to go to Europe, London, New Zeland, or Australia. But extremists are making this world a scary place to live. What i it in a human being to want to murder someone, rape, rob, and perform terriost attacks on people? And yet, Christ tells me to love these...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
77
General
Another thing I need to remember is that this too shall pass. Everyone and everything is passing away. So why care? I just need to find ways to occupy my mind when these compulsive thoughts enter my mind. Any suggestions? Wait a minute, you are not even reading this. But regardless, it...
cedric1200
2 min read
Views
80
General
I think I figured out on how to combat my compulsion. Leave the apartment, and take walks outside. These compulsive thoughts are probably going to kill me. I have to figurs out a way to make myself happy, even though I am unloved and unliked. I have heard people committing suicide...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
58
General
I live in fantasy, for reality bites. This is unhealthy. For fantasy is causing me to sink into more depression. I want my fantasies to come true. I would love to be a gifted child like Rori in Gilmore Girls. I would love to have a voice like Finn Hudon in Glee. I would love it if someone told...
cedric1200
1 min read
Views
57
General
I hate my attitude. My neighbors are getting evicted for a reason I'd rather not say; and I am happy about it. Simply because they did not speak to me. I need to change my attitude. It's disgusting. My landlord came to the apartment complex. And of course we started talking about...
cedric1200
2 min read
Views
50
General
"Nobody likes me. They all seem to hate." When on earth am I going to grow up? These thoughts are constantly on my mind. I hate compulsing. It just runs my life. It enslaves me. When do I get to be in charge of my life? Today I found out that these neighbors, who I really wanted to...
cedric1200
4 min read
Views
334
General
The doctrine of the wrath of God has fallen on hard times. In today’s world, any concept of God’s wrath upsets our modern sentiments. It’s too disconcerting, too intolerant. We live in a day where we have set ourselves as the judge and God’s character is on trial. “How can hell be just?” “Why...
cedric1200
6 min read
Views
188
General
Part 1 of 4: Dealing with the Root Cause Overcome Lust Step 1 Version 2.jpg 1 Stop tempting yourself. Learn to stop seeking out things which make you lustful. This mainly means training yourself to fight the temptations of pornography but it can also mean not going to movies or...
cedric1200
5 min read
Views
87
General
Can Narcissists Change? Sometimes, the right approach can soften even the hardest of hearts. Published on September 20, 2013 by Craig Malkin, Ph.D. in Romance Redux [/B] At the end of May 2013, I wrote an article titled 5 Early Warning Signs You’re with a Narcissist. It sparked a...