I want to believe in Jesus, but I keep getting these awful feelings. Today I was listening to a music video and I got another deja vu. These deja vus that I get also seem like visions of the future. I feel like I've already done something and then I feel like I get a glimpse of the future along with that feeling. The future I felt today was just as I feared. They're going to bury me alive. I think it will happen on August 25th, just like my voices said.
It really upsets me that I get these deja vus and visions of the future. It makes me feel like there is no hope. I've been getting them my whole life. It makes me feel like I've already done everything before and I can't change the future. One thing that gives me hope is that many times the visions of the future haven't come true. So I hope I'm just crazy or something. I really don't like these feelings though. They scare me a lot. They make me feel like I know the future and the future is rotten. I want to believe, but because of these feelings I feel like Jesus is out to get me. I'm very worried that I will be buried alive if I get a C.
Other than that, I had some toast and hummus for breakfast today. I also got some homework done. I'm working on a revision of a story for the video game I'm creating. I have some more homework to do this weekend.
Anyway, these deja vus and visions of the future always fill me with fear. They make me feel like something terrible will happen and I can't prevent it. Sorry for being so morbid. My reality is just really frightening.
I just gave my cat some pats and that makes me feel better. I want to be a good person, but I feel like my sins are too great.
I had some ice cream from an ice cream parlor but there was a hair in my ice cream. Just before I had some ice cream I thought a really bad thought about God, so I feel like it's a sign from God that I got hair in my ice cream. Maybe I'm just really paranoid. I don't like it when I get ugly thoughts about God. I just prayed for forgiveness. I think I'm just really screwed up in the head.
It really upsets me that I get these deja vus and visions of the future. It makes me feel like there is no hope. I've been getting them my whole life. It makes me feel like I've already done everything before and I can't change the future. One thing that gives me hope is that many times the visions of the future haven't come true. So I hope I'm just crazy or something. I really don't like these feelings though. They scare me a lot. They make me feel like I know the future and the future is rotten. I want to believe, but because of these feelings I feel like Jesus is out to get me. I'm very worried that I will be buried alive if I get a C.
Other than that, I had some toast and hummus for breakfast today. I also got some homework done. I'm working on a revision of a story for the video game I'm creating. I have some more homework to do this weekend.
Anyway, these deja vus and visions of the future always fill me with fear. They make me feel like something terrible will happen and I can't prevent it. Sorry for being so morbid. My reality is just really frightening.
I just gave my cat some pats and that makes me feel better. I want to be a good person, but I feel like my sins are too great.
I had some ice cream from an ice cream parlor but there was a hair in my ice cream. Just before I had some ice cream I thought a really bad thought about God, so I feel like it's a sign from God that I got hair in my ice cream. Maybe I'm just really paranoid. I don't like it when I get ugly thoughts about God. I just prayed for forgiveness. I think I'm just really screwed up in the head.
