Well, today was okay I guess. I'm feeling better. Things went well at school. I didn't think they would, but they did.
Friday we get to show off the game we've been making. It took us a semester to make the game that we have so far. I did most of the scripting necessary to make it. I feel good about my work.
Hopefully things will work out. I want to believe that God loves me. I just get scared because I feel like I've been given magical signs, and all of these signs were very negative. I keep thinking that I'm too bad for Christ. I keep thinking I'm a horrible person so things have to end horribly for me.
Here is a song I listened to today. It's one of my favorite Christian songs.
I'm still happy that I didn't quit school. I think giving up is usually the wrong thing to do. This week is the last week of school. After that I get to take three weeks off. I think I'll probably play a lot of video games or hang out with my best friend. My brother is leaving for China on the 25th, so I won't be able to hang out with him anymore.
I keep thinking I'm going to end up in a coffin if I get a C. I can't get it out of my head. Hopefully I will do good in my classes. I just feel like I'm playing Russian roulette. If I really believe that will happen if I get a C, school is the last thing I should be doing. So, I really don't know what I'm doing. I tried to get a job for a year and I couldn't find work, so I went back to school. It seemed like a good idea when I started, but things have been really nightmarish.
I hope that nothing will happen if I get a C, but I'm really afraid of getting one. For some reason I really feel like that will be the end of me if it happens. I didn't use to feel that way. I just got some stupid bet into my head. I feel like I made a bet with Jesus and he will get me for it if I lose.
Anyway, that's all for tonight. Please pray for me that things will be okay no matter what happens. Thanks.
Friday we get to show off the game we've been making. It took us a semester to make the game that we have so far. I did most of the scripting necessary to make it. I feel good about my work.
Hopefully things will work out. I want to believe that God loves me. I just get scared because I feel like I've been given magical signs, and all of these signs were very negative. I keep thinking that I'm too bad for Christ. I keep thinking I'm a horrible person so things have to end horribly for me.
Here is a song I listened to today. It's one of my favorite Christian songs.
I'm still happy that I didn't quit school. I think giving up is usually the wrong thing to do. This week is the last week of school. After that I get to take three weeks off. I think I'll probably play a lot of video games or hang out with my best friend. My brother is leaving for China on the 25th, so I won't be able to hang out with him anymore.
I keep thinking I'm going to end up in a coffin if I get a C. I can't get it out of my head. Hopefully I will do good in my classes. I just feel like I'm playing Russian roulette. If I really believe that will happen if I get a C, school is the last thing I should be doing. So, I really don't know what I'm doing. I tried to get a job for a year and I couldn't find work, so I went back to school. It seemed like a good idea when I started, but things have been really nightmarish.
I hope that nothing will happen if I get a C, but I'm really afraid of getting one. For some reason I really feel like that will be the end of me if it happens. I didn't use to feel that way. I just got some stupid bet into my head. I feel like I made a bet with Jesus and he will get me for it if I lose.
Anyway, that's all for tonight. Please pray for me that things will be okay no matter what happens. Thanks.
