I got a lot of work done today on the game I'm making. I still feel really bad though. I keep thinking I have to worship the church 244 times or else I will get a C. Somehow I got this thought in my head and I can't get it out.
I really feel like I will instantly go to hell if I get a C. I feel like it's a punishment from God. God knows how much I like college and college has now become a nightmare for me. I never used to care about my grades. Now that I think I will go to hell if I get a C I dread the end of every semester. I keep trying to do well at school but I think my reward for trying is hell in the form of an eternity in a coffin.
I really feel like every blessing will be taken away from me, all because I'm going to get a C. I know it doesn't make sense, but I really believe it. I feel like I must be the most horrible person who ever existed because I feel like they will teleport me to a coffin. They won't even give me the chance to die. They are just going to teleport me. I don't think they've ever done that to anyone before, so I must be the most horrible person of all time. That's what the voices tell me. They say I'm worse than Hitler.
Sorry I'm so negative. I did get a lot of school work done today. We have two weeks left to finish our game for school, so I'm trying my hardest to get a lot of work done at home. I really don't want to quit college, but the voices keep telling me to quit or else suffer the consequences. I'm used to doing what the nice voice tells me to do, and the nice voice is telling me to either worship the church or quit college. He says those are my only options. Otherwise I get teleported to the coffin. I really feel like I'm doomed. Sorry to be so pessimistic. I just feel really negative all the time. I want to try to be more positive. At least I got a lot of work done today. Maybe that is a silver lining.
I hope I'm just crazy.
I'm feeling a bit better now. I had some home-made blackberry cobbler that my brother made with vanilla ice cream. Now that could lift even the spirits of the most downtrodden.
Also, I might go to church tomorrow with my mom.
I really believe I am going to hell soon. I keep telling the voices that I'm going to be buried alive, but they keep disagreeing with me. I don't think anyone can convince me that I won't be buried alive.
I really feel like I will instantly go to hell if I get a C. I feel like it's a punishment from God. God knows how much I like college and college has now become a nightmare for me. I never used to care about my grades. Now that I think I will go to hell if I get a C I dread the end of every semester. I keep trying to do well at school but I think my reward for trying is hell in the form of an eternity in a coffin.
I really feel like every blessing will be taken away from me, all because I'm going to get a C. I know it doesn't make sense, but I really believe it. I feel like I must be the most horrible person who ever existed because I feel like they will teleport me to a coffin. They won't even give me the chance to die. They are just going to teleport me. I don't think they've ever done that to anyone before, so I must be the most horrible person of all time. That's what the voices tell me. They say I'm worse than Hitler.
Sorry I'm so negative. I did get a lot of school work done today. We have two weeks left to finish our game for school, so I'm trying my hardest to get a lot of work done at home. I really don't want to quit college, but the voices keep telling me to quit or else suffer the consequences. I'm used to doing what the nice voice tells me to do, and the nice voice is telling me to either worship the church or quit college. He says those are my only options. Otherwise I get teleported to the coffin. I really feel like I'm doomed. Sorry to be so pessimistic. I just feel really negative all the time. I want to try to be more positive. At least I got a lot of work done today. Maybe that is a silver lining.
I hope I'm just crazy.
I'm feeling a bit better now. I had some home-made blackberry cobbler that my brother made with vanilla ice cream. Now that could lift even the spirits of the most downtrodden.
Also, I might go to church tomorrow with my mom.
I really believe I am going to hell soon. I keep telling the voices that I'm going to be buried alive, but they keep disagreeing with me. I don't think anyone can convince me that I won't be buried alive.
