John 3:19-21
I don't like the light much. Believe it or not I don't like the limelight IRL.
I prefer someone else to be the one in charge, in the hot seat, calling the shots.
But I guess I am afraid of exposure. I don't really want you all to know who I really am, the details of my past. My real name. The details of my past sins. Does that mean I am more afraid of what you think of me, than what God thinks of me? Probably. Therefore I have made you all my false God. For if I didn't really care, I would tell you absolutely everything. The things I feel shame for even to this day.
But surely God has enough commonsense to realise that we need to survive in this secular world. Our reputation is part of that survival. Of course it should never be THE most important thing. I am totally open with God because I know I cant hide anything from Him. I try to reassure myself that this is enough.
You don't know if someone near to you, living near you or from your past is reading this very blog. They could take offence. Guess I am trying to justify this façade we put on here on CF. With a fake username and fake avatar. (not all I know) Then there were those recent threads about lying and breaking that commandment. Arent we all lying though? I mean if we don't put our real name and other details on?
If I did that I would feel forced to be "upright and mature Paul". I would be a different person altogether, afraid to tell you anything about myself.
I do admire transparency though.
I don't like the light much. Believe it or not I don't like the limelight IRL.
I prefer someone else to be the one in charge, in the hot seat, calling the shots.
But I guess I am afraid of exposure. I don't really want you all to know who I really am, the details of my past. My real name. The details of my past sins. Does that mean I am more afraid of what you think of me, than what God thinks of me? Probably. Therefore I have made you all my false God. For if I didn't really care, I would tell you absolutely everything. The things I feel shame for even to this day.
But surely God has enough commonsense to realise that we need to survive in this secular world. Our reputation is part of that survival. Of course it should never be THE most important thing. I am totally open with God because I know I cant hide anything from Him. I try to reassure myself that this is enough.
You don't know if someone near to you, living near you or from your past is reading this very blog. They could take offence. Guess I am trying to justify this façade we put on here on CF. With a fake username and fake avatar. (not all I know) Then there were those recent threads about lying and breaking that commandment. Arent we all lying though? I mean if we don't put our real name and other details on?
If I did that I would feel forced to be "upright and mature Paul". I would be a different person altogether, afraid to tell you anything about myself.
I do admire transparency though.
