"All I want is to get through every day alive," is what I said last Wednesday.
I didn't specifically state that I was suicidal or was thinking anything along those lines. But I didn't deny it.
I have been getting exceedingly lonely and have gotten the short of the stick with blessings lately. I have watched so many others be blessed that I've been standing still wondering where I existed in God's frame of thought.
I've noticed outside of client related stuff, my phone does not ring much. I've gotten tired of making contact and not receiving a penny for my thoughts.
There was no major trigger but there was a straw that broke the camel's back And that was a $500 bill because of a bad chiro and insurance. NOT MY FAULT but I"m the fall guy.
I was supposed to be accomplishing so much more then this. I've dreamed of getting ahead of my pain with God's help of course for years and everytime I think there it is. It's gone without a second thought.
I have no faith anymore. I haven't been to church for the past two Sundays. I didn't want to go the first time and I was sick yesterday.
I didn't specifically state that I was suicidal or was thinking anything along those lines. But I didn't deny it.
I have been getting exceedingly lonely and have gotten the short of the stick with blessings lately. I have watched so many others be blessed that I've been standing still wondering where I existed in God's frame of thought.
I've noticed outside of client related stuff, my phone does not ring much. I've gotten tired of making contact and not receiving a penny for my thoughts.
There was no major trigger but there was a straw that broke the camel's back And that was a $500 bill because of a bad chiro and insurance. NOT MY FAULT but I"m the fall guy.
I was supposed to be accomplishing so much more then this. I've dreamed of getting ahead of my pain with God's help of course for years and everytime I think there it is. It's gone without a second thought.
I have no faith anymore. I haven't been to church for the past two Sundays. I didn't want to go the first time and I was sick yesterday.
