Drained, drained, drained. Completely drained of life.
I've been waiting, waiting, waiting, and it really takes a toll on me - or anyone, I would suppose!! - after awhile. I finally heard back from my NP today about the ECT stuff... sounds like she'll have news on my referral appt on Monday. I really hope I qualify for it... really, really hope. Because I REFUSE to take Remeron. I am not going to. It causes weight gain. I am not going to go on something that makes me fatter than I already am. Ugh. I am disgusting.
I am a pointless being. I read, and sleep, and do crunches, and do yoga now and again... and get lazy and sad. Sadder, I mean. Ugh.
I wish I could make things stop. All of this STUFF is wearing me down, draining me...... I want it to just GO AWAY.
But it's not in my powers to do that.
Jarrod's friend (who was best man at our wedding) said that I need to eat more red meat to get iron, because obviously I am deficient in it. As a joke. Not funny. I am a vegetarian and eating meat just... grosses me out. Completely and totally. Yuck.
But part of me wonders if I am deficient in iron. I mean, I don't take an iron supplement, but I do take a multivitamin, so that should give enough iron, right? Says it does...
Blah.
Oh, and fun news... I ordered 5 books from Amazon (used) and they are on their way now. Zoom!!! hehe. One of them is Shock by Kitty Dukakis and Ted someone-or-other, on ECT. I look forward to reading it... sounds like it will be useful. I only hope that I qualify for ECT... if I don't, I am seriously going to be ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY.
I don't even want to think about what ifs... I don't need that right now.
Anyway. So the books are on their way. Yey.
That was the happy thought of the week.
I've been waiting, waiting, waiting, and it really takes a toll on me - or anyone, I would suppose!! - after awhile. I finally heard back from my NP today about the ECT stuff... sounds like she'll have news on my referral appt on Monday. I really hope I qualify for it... really, really hope. Because I REFUSE to take Remeron. I am not going to. It causes weight gain. I am not going to go on something that makes me fatter than I already am. Ugh. I am disgusting.
I am a pointless being. I read, and sleep, and do crunches, and do yoga now and again... and get lazy and sad. Sadder, I mean. Ugh.
I wish I could make things stop. All of this STUFF is wearing me down, draining me...... I want it to just GO AWAY.
But it's not in my powers to do that.
Jarrod's friend (who was best man at our wedding) said that I need to eat more red meat to get iron, because obviously I am deficient in it. As a joke. Not funny. I am a vegetarian and eating meat just... grosses me out. Completely and totally. Yuck.
But part of me wonders if I am deficient in iron. I mean, I don't take an iron supplement, but I do take a multivitamin, so that should give enough iron, right? Says it does...
Blah.
Oh, and fun news... I ordered 5 books from Amazon (used) and they are on their way now. Zoom!!! hehe. One of them is Shock by Kitty Dukakis and Ted someone-or-other, on ECT. I look forward to reading it... sounds like it will be useful. I only hope that I qualify for ECT... if I don't, I am seriously going to be ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY.
I don't even want to think about what ifs... I don't need that right now.
Anyway. So the books are on their way. Yey.
That was the happy thought of the week.
