As each day goes by, the better and better I adjust to my new life. It's weird, though, how I am still me. That may sound really weird, but I feel as though since I got married I should be someone else. Someone different. And I suppose that in a way, I am different. But in the end, I am still April.
Anxiety has been really bad lately. Really bad. Debilitating. I am okay on campus when I have a lot of things to do and a lot of things that I have to focus on, but at the apartment, especially if I am alone, I get panicky and scared. Although I wasn't alone yesterday, I was still scared, and so drained from being so tense and anxious that I just wanted to curl up and lie down (which is what I did, at 6:30pm, with Jarrod - fell asleep, too). Ended up going to bed at 7:20pm, woke up at 5am, got up at six. And I am still exhausted... go figure, right? *sigh*
Depression is hitting me in bits and pieces now. I am feeling slightly psychotic, not really all there, not really real, hazy around the edges, like a person made of puzzle pieces where slowly a piece is taken away at a time. Dying slowly. Fading. Drifting............
Nothing else is really new. Uni is driving me absolutely mad, but I am hanging in there and (mostly) staying on top of my assignments. I dropped my minor (nutrition) so I could graduate a term earlier (hopefully anyway - next fall!! the end is in sight!! hehe), and I am taking 16 credits next semester - hopefully that won't break me. It's the most I've ever taken at once and I know I can drop a class - it's just that I would prefer not to. Hehe.
And that's my life. Gotta love being anxious, bipolar, and a senior in uni. And of course, being a wife, but that I mean seriously, not sarcastically. I do love being a wife. It's so nice to see Jarrod every night.
Okay. Pip pip for now (to whoever is reading this, anyway.......).
♥April.
Anxiety has been really bad lately. Really bad. Debilitating. I am okay on campus when I have a lot of things to do and a lot of things that I have to focus on, but at the apartment, especially if I am alone, I get panicky and scared. Although I wasn't alone yesterday, I was still scared, and so drained from being so tense and anxious that I just wanted to curl up and lie down (which is what I did, at 6:30pm, with Jarrod - fell asleep, too). Ended up going to bed at 7:20pm, woke up at 5am, got up at six. And I am still exhausted... go figure, right? *sigh*
Depression is hitting me in bits and pieces now. I am feeling slightly psychotic, not really all there, not really real, hazy around the edges, like a person made of puzzle pieces where slowly a piece is taken away at a time. Dying slowly. Fading. Drifting............
Nothing else is really new. Uni is driving me absolutely mad, but I am hanging in there and (mostly) staying on top of my assignments. I dropped my minor (nutrition) so I could graduate a term earlier (hopefully anyway - next fall!! the end is in sight!! hehe), and I am taking 16 credits next semester - hopefully that won't break me. It's the most I've ever taken at once and I know I can drop a class - it's just that I would prefer not to. Hehe.
And that's my life. Gotta love being anxious, bipolar, and a senior in uni. And of course, being a wife, but that I mean seriously, not sarcastically. I do love being a wife. It's so nice to see Jarrod every night.
Okay. Pip pip for now (to whoever is reading this, anyway.......).
♥April.
