Five years ago when I turned 26, I thought I knew it all. I'd found my stride, enforcing my expectations on others, getting what I wanted, puffing up my pride.
I was running this and organising that at church, getting asked to speak there and travel here to play my gat'. The perfect works-based Churchian, (just missing Christ at that.)
Our city was struck with major earthquakes, and I felt they really made me, next I was helping everyone, organising my own little version of a major university student volunteer army, through a local version of e-bay.
But inside I was dying, being set up for a fall like the large Police building in the CBD, standing oh so tall.
A rampant hidden life of lust and sexual immorality - online porn, using prostitutes and escorts when I felt down, drunkenness all behind the scenes,
Satan was planting the explosive charges, ringed around the seams.
Hidden deeper still, within the building's core shear wall, a life of resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness toward others, the Tinder that finally would blow it all.
Down, down I came, triggered by anger and broken expectation, someone in my church, had broken my trust, that and painful sickness, threw me into lust.
Satan's bait had worked its magic, and BANG.. another burnt out, bitter youth leader, fallen from grace. Or was I even under grace?
No. I was a false convert, doing things for others in church, but not having a honest relationship with God.
See to it that no-one misses the Grace of God and that no bitter root grows up among you and defiles many.
Dont you know it is the grace of God which leads you to repentance?
I was running this and organising that at church, getting asked to speak there and travel here to play my gat'. The perfect works-based Churchian, (just missing Christ at that.)
Our city was struck with major earthquakes, and I felt they really made me, next I was helping everyone, organising my own little version of a major university student volunteer army, through a local version of e-bay.
But inside I was dying, being set up for a fall like the large Police building in the CBD, standing oh so tall.
A rampant hidden life of lust and sexual immorality - online porn, using prostitutes and escorts when I felt down, drunkenness all behind the scenes,
Satan was planting the explosive charges, ringed around the seams.
Hidden deeper still, within the building's core shear wall, a life of resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness toward others, the Tinder that finally would blow it all.
Down, down I came, triggered by anger and broken expectation, someone in my church, had broken my trust, that and painful sickness, threw me into lust.
Satan's bait had worked its magic, and BANG.. another burnt out, bitter youth leader, fallen from grace. Or was I even under grace?
No. I was a false convert, doing things for others in church, but not having a honest relationship with God.
See to it that no-one misses the Grace of God and that no bitter root grows up among you and defiles many.
Dont you know it is the grace of God which leads you to repentance?
