You must be mad!

[Dave-W]

'Niggardly' is nothing to do with the n word; anyone who thinks it is needs to check a dictionary. The etymology is completely different.

Perhaps you and I know that; but all over the country people are taking offense at it and trying to get it banned because it "sounds like xxxx."

Read the Wiki link I added.

 

[whois]

I have a complex mental health condition. I am also one of the sanest people you will ever meet, and not exactly lacking in intelligence. I would really like to make people aware of this matter, and encourage a shade more thought.

heh, we are all insane at one time or another in our lives.
each and every one of us.

mental lapses, we all experience them.
the thought of "i just can't live without them", happens to a large part of humanity.
doing ridiculous, crazy stunts afflicts a great number of youth.

so, what exactly is "crazy"?

 

[grasping the after wind]

Good for you.

Try being on the receiving end of actually hurtful language and then tell me it would not hurt you.

Do you actually think I've lived for 60 years without being insulted, mocked, made fun of or verbally attacked by anyone? Hurt feelings are not really all that fatal.

 

[Dave-W]

Do you actually think I've lived for 60 years without being insulted, mocked, made fun of or verbally attacked by anyone? Hurt feelings are not really all that fatal.

I agree. In grade school people turned my last name into a term meaning animal dung.

So what? I never once considered any kind of revenge or pay back. If the thought had ever crossed my mind, I would have dismissed it immediately.

 

[grasping the after wind]

Would that work with the 'N' word as well, and our black brothers and sisters? Are they just being oversensitive?

It is one thing to call a person a name and another to use a descriptive word to describe someone's behavior. As far as our black brothers and sisters, they do not seem to be all that concerned about using that N word themselves. A word only has the power over you that you decide to give it.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

I think the intent of the word is what is the most significant, especially since there are variations in the meaning and colloquial usage between different cultures and generations. If someone has deliberately said or written something to be offensive, then it's natural and appropriate to then take proportional offense. In many cases, though, a person has used a word or term lightly and innocently, and the accusations, outrage, and condemnation that are hurled back can be disproportionately hurtful and unkind. As an example, back in 2012 there was a popular "about me" tag on YouTube, and a 14-year-old Texan "beauty guru" friend of mine responding to it answered the question about her personality by describing herself as a spaz. Most American viewers understood that she meant she's very excitable, quirky, and hyper. She was promptly assailed with accusations, primarily from British subs, that she was mocking those with cerebral palsy and should be deeply ashamed of herself. It actually spawned these response videos that called her out and shamed her as being callous and insensitive, or an ignorant idiot. A simple comment or heads up via message explaining without any accusation of wrongdoing or judgement that the word was considered to be offensive would have been far more kind and teachable. "Mad" is also used a bit differently in Britspeak vs. Americanism. The "crazy" connotation is usually one that has more affection to it, such as being "mad" / "crazy" about a person (adoration for him or her) or creatively eccentric in the Mad Hatter way. Girls from my dance studio who go to a local high school did a Mad Hatter themed Homecoming pep rally dance and had shirts about the "madness." None of it was to demean or in any way offend someone with a mental illness. In the spring we have "March Madness" to celebrate basketball playoffs, and there's clearly no intent to disparage anyone with the use of the word. In youth culture there's also words that are used differently, such as using "sick" as an adjective that means awesome. So I think context is imperative.

I'm not stating that we shouldn't be attentive to our words and sensitive and considerate to others because we absolutely should, but I do think we need to be reasonable. When a correction truly is necessary, it needs to be done in an appropriate way and with consideration to the context and the intent. Haranguing someone for a benign-intentioned faux pas is just as unkind if not more so than making the faux pas.

 

[fat wee robin]

I could not agree more with the OP.

And actually, I think this touches on a broader issue, which is that there still exists a culture in our societies where many people hold someone with a mental illness at least partially responsible for it. Too many people see mental conditions as some sort of character flaw, or sign of personal weakness. We would never think that way about someone with a physical illness, yet with mental illness the rules seem different. This is only true of some people, not of all, but this idea needs to be constantly challenged.


So, if someone did something clumsy, would you call them a 'spastic'? And if there was someone with a disability in the room, would you think they were being over sensitive if they took offence?

When I was a schoolkid, maybe about 12 or 13, a teacher overheard me call a friend a 'spacca' (which was slang for spastic at the time). She was obviously quite upset, and marched me into her office for a dressing down. She spent about 10 minutes telling me about her daughter who had a serious disability (I can't remember exactly what), about the challenges she had to face with her daughter just to get by on a daily basis, and about what a loving daughter she was, regardless of those difficulties. She also explained to me why it is offensive to people with such conditions to use words like that as slurs directed at those who do not suffer such problems. I never used the word again.

The same applies if you say to somone 'you're mental'. We should all stop saying such things.

Then if i do not mind being called crazy I have no reason to refrain from calling someone else crazy. Call me crazy but I find this whole over sensitivity stuff to be wearing thin.

I agree, you can call me CRAZY, l will not take offence .As christians we are to be self critical and being too sensitive to 'ourselves' is a sign of self regard ,even vanity .However gratuitous unkindness is not good and sarcasm is the worst .

 

[fat wee robin]

Not with that attitude, I'm resigning from this thread.
Oh and I call everyone "my friend", its a statement of kindness, however I'll make a note not to with you.

Sorry but in our culture it is condescending,sarcastic even .

 

[fat wee robin]

Wouldn't it be better to help people become more self assured than to enable them to stay so unnecessarily emotionally vulnerable by pandering to their oversensitivity?

Yes , life is not for cowards .

 

[Strathos]

It's not about campaigning explicitly - simply that you can use these words and not be against solving these issues, while those with perfect vocabulary can still reinforce stereotypes. One can observe people using the N-word affectionately, or ironically, or as a self-identifier, or humourously. There's more than one context in which these things might arise, and simply leaping to the conclusion that it's being done to hurt isn't necessarily going to be correct.

A few days ago, when I was talking a walk around my neighborhood, there were some white kids playing in the street, and I distinctly heard one of them use the N word. I considered approaching them to tell them that it was unacceptable, but I am somewhat of a shy person in real life so I decided to mind my own business instead. Still, I found it disturbing.

 

[dhornace]

My sister has a mental disorder but wears shirts that say "psycho" on them. I think it really depends on the person that has them. I haven't exactly heard an out cry from anyone saying it is upsetting when those terms are used. And I think a lot of times those words aren't used in a context of derogatory towards people with a disability. If I say, "That's a crazy idea" I would think you would take my comment as the idea you are saying is way out there, not feasible. I could be wrong, but that is like saying, "That is a really fat tree" and someone getting upset cause you called it fat if they are overweight. Seems kind of silly to me.

 

[com7fy8]

I think the intent of the word is what is the most significant,

Yes, but I have seen how people can take something the wrong way, not at all how the speaker meant it. So, if you "go" into using certain words, it can be easy for certain people to take it the wrong way.

I personally don't use "crazy" and stuff like that, because Jesus says not to call anyone a fool > Matthew 5:22. But I see this is not only about not hurting people's feelings, but so I am not looking down on anyone.

But I think it is a good point, how people need to be strong so wrong people can't have power to hurt them with wrong words and other things.

"And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)

But people are not perfect; so any of us can still be overly sensitive about certain things. So, we should feel for each other, but all of us need to become stronger so we can't be under the power of wrong people.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Then if i do not mind being called crazy I have no reason to refrain from calling someone else crazy.

As Christians we are to have God's love in us. This is one of the 9 fruits of the Spirit. If we do not produce fruit we are not a Christian. I told someone today she was crazy but she knows I love her. If I was telling her in a way that did not show love then she may have been hurt or upset. "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." Luke 6 45

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I'm more offended by what people do than what they say.

 

[GrimKingGrim]

On the eternal brawl of the internet, where nothing is sacred, Things shouldn't be taken so much at face value.

 

[lupusFati]

I think I actually would prefer people not call other people 'crazy' or 'insane'. It's a trigger word for my sister and, lately, for me.

Also, I'm not oversensitive. I've just been strong for far too long, and now I'm cracking.

Though I guess I technically AM oversensitive in the sense that I experience things about twice as much as others would.
If 1 negative erases 5 positives with neurotypical people, then 1 negative erases 10 positives for someone like me.

Not to mention the physical senses sometimes being overwhelmed by things that wouldn't bother other people. Such as light. And sound.

But hey, let's just treat sensitivity like it's this huge sign of weakness. But before you judge me consider:

Jesus wept.

 

[plummyy]

Thanks OP! (I agree)

Using any words that are for mental illness stigmatizes those of us who actually deal with them. This means that depression is nothing more than.... "they totally act depressed" "after watching that sad movie, i feel depressed". And OCD is nothing more than...."I like to clean, I'm really OCD" "they're OCD about matching their clothes". All the people who are psychotic are nothing more than.... "they went psycho on the guy who broke into their apartment" "my ex-girlfriend was psychotic after finding out I lied". These words are either belittled and misunderstood (like the shy kid being called "antisocial"; lets hope you never meet an actual anti-social person) or used by neurotypical people to make fun of themselves. I really don't appreciate when someone tries to insult others by calling them "depressed" or make fun of themselves by saying how "OCD" they are when I'm standing two feet away from them, actually dealing with these things, and trying not to feel like a complete joke. I don't like when anyone who feels nervous about something, is suddenly dealing with an "anxiety disorder"---I am wearing thin from my real anxiety disorder, and I especially don't appreciate when people think I'm joking around when I mention it to them. If anyone thinks that those of us with mental/disorders are oversensitive or weak, please try and imagine how utterly desensitized we are to hearing these things or seeing how people react. But when we make a "fuss" it's because we're not enjoying the indirect (or direct) insults.

"Crazy" is already a slur when referring to someones emotional/mental response to a situation. It's a dual-meaning word, and it goes along with outlandish situations "the crazy landslides going on in Washington" or "it's crazy how much money I won with that bet". But calling someone "crazy" for how they reacted, is a slur.

Here's my rant:

Good for you if words are just words and meanings are only as important as you want them to be, but don't throw that shtick on the rest of us. Good for you if it's easy to make the same annoying "comebacks" to generalized sayings meant to keep people safe, but actual people benefit from those sayings being taken and understood seriously. I can't recall all the times a man has said how if he "was a girl" he'd "like if people..." as excuse for making light of dangerous situations or make excuse for acting in a reprehensible manner in response to "treat others the way you would like to be treated". Switch the variables, it's all the same. And it's fowl.

 

[Catherineanne]

Perhaps you and I know that; but all over the country people are taking offense at it and trying to get it banned because it "sounds like xxxx."

Read the Wiki link I added.

In which case, education.

 

[Catherineanne]

Thanks OP! (I agree)

Using any words that are for mental illness stigmatizes those of us who actually deal with them. This means that depression is nothing more than.... "they totally act depressed" "after watching that sad movie, i feel depressed". And OCD is nothing more than...."I like to clean, I'm really OCD" "they're OCD about matching their clothes". All the people who are psychotic are nothing more than.... "they went psycho on the guy who broke into their apartment" "my ex-girlfriend was psychotic after finding out I lied". These words are either belittled and misunderstood (like the shy kid being called "antisocial"; lets hope you never meet an actual anti-social person) or used by neurotypical people to make fun of themselves. I really don't appreciate when someone tries to insult others by calling them "depressed" or make fun of themselves by saying how "OCD" they are when I'm standing two feet away from them, actually dealing with these things, and trying not to feel like a complete joke. I don't like when anyone who feels nervous about something, is suddenly dealing with an "anxiety disorder"---I am wearing thin from my real anxiety disorder, and I especially don't appreciate when people think I'm joking around when I mention it to them. If anyone thinks that those of us with mental/disorders are oversensitive or weak, please try and imagine how utterly desensitized we are to hearing these things or seeing how people react. But when we make a "fuss" it's because we're not enjoying the indirect (or direct) insults.

"Crazy" is already a slur when referring to someones emotional/mental response to a situation. It's a dual-meaning word, and it goes along with outlandish situations "the crazy landslides going on in Washington" or "it's crazy how much money I won with that bet". But calling someone "crazy" for how they reacted, is a slur.

Here's my rant:

Good for you if words are just words and meanings are only as important as you want them to be, but don't throw that shtick on the rest of us. Good for you if it's easy to make the same annoying "comebacks" to generalized sayings meant to keep people safe, but actual people benefit from those sayings being taken and understood seriously. I can't recall all the times a man has said how if he "was a girl" he'd "like if people..." as excuse for making light of dangerous situations or make excuse for acting in a reprehensible manner in response to "treat others the way you would like to be treated". Switch the variables, it's all the same. And it's fowl.

Absolutely.

I ought to have included OCD in the OP; that is one of the most prevalent misused current words. Tidying a kitchen does not make anyone 'OCD'; it is far more debilitating, far more distressing than that.

If those without such conditions could understand the effort it takes for many of us simply to survive from day to day they would not use such words casually. Well, I hope not anyway.

 

[Catherineanne]

I think I actually would prefer people not call other people 'crazy' or 'insane'. It's a trigger word for my sister and, lately, for me.

Also, I'm not oversensitive. I've just been strong for far too long, and now I'm cracking.

Though I guess I technically AM oversensitive in the sense that I experience things about twice as much as others would.
If 1 negative erases 5 positives with neurotypical people, then 1 negative erases 10 positives for someone like me.

Not to mention the physical senses sometimes being overwhelmed by things that wouldn't bother other people. Such as light. And sound.

But hey, let's just treat sensitivity like it's this huge sign of weakness. But before you judge me consider:

Jesus wept.

I hope nobody here is judging you, unless it is to find you resilient and resourceful.

People with mental issues are regarded far too often as weak or inadequate. In fact we are among the strongest, most capable, most resilient people around. As you rightly say, a normal day is very much more difficult for us to cope with.