J
Jenster
Guest
I seem to have a high need for people around me to be responsible, and it's caused me constant unhappiness all my life. It's messed with my relationships with people such that I don't know what's reasonable to expect anymore.
I grew up in a household with parents who provided materially for me and my siblings, but not much emotionally or in terms of wisdom or guidance. In fact, my mom herself seemed like she never felt emotionally supported by my dad. As a result (this is classic co-dependence!), I became exceedingly responsible.
I've struggled for a lot of my adult life with this issue, and I have come to the realization that I keep wanting people around me to be super responsible. I get upset (and feel "threatened" or anxious) when people are not 100 percent responsible. I work in management, so my job is especially hard on me, as many people are not that hard-working and I have to get after them.
Will I ever get over this? I had a counselor once who encouraged me to remember times I'd felt abandoned by people and to realize that Jesus was there in that moment so although people failed me, Jesus didn't fail me. That helped, but I wish I could form some reasonable expectations of people. Without reasonable expectations, I am constantly disappointed and then I have a hard time loving others.
Can someone suggest ways I can get past this issue?
Also, can anyone tell me what are some reasonable expectations in relationships?
Thanks for any help you can offer.
I grew up in a household with parents who provided materially for me and my siblings, but not much emotionally or in terms of wisdom or guidance. In fact, my mom herself seemed like she never felt emotionally supported by my dad. As a result (this is classic co-dependence!), I became exceedingly responsible.
I've struggled for a lot of my adult life with this issue, and I have come to the realization that I keep wanting people around me to be super responsible. I get upset (and feel "threatened" or anxious) when people are not 100 percent responsible. I work in management, so my job is especially hard on me, as many people are not that hard-working and I have to get after them.
Will I ever get over this? I had a counselor once who encouraged me to remember times I'd felt abandoned by people and to realize that Jesus was there in that moment so although people failed me, Jesus didn't fail me. That helped, but I wish I could form some reasonable expectations of people. Without reasonable expectations, I am constantly disappointed and then I have a hard time loving others.
Can someone suggest ways I can get past this issue?
Also, can anyone tell me what are some reasonable expectations in relationships?
Thanks for any help you can offer.