What are your coping methods?

[Liberal Angel]

Hey guys

as we all know being a single male is the hardest job in the entire world.......it drove me to the mental hospital many times - (just got out march 14) and im already struggling again......i try to keep myself calm but as soon as a semi sexy commercial gets on tv or a friend makes a sex joke ill grab the closest sharp object and start cutting myself they upped my fluaxatine and depakote but im not noticing much difference....

What are some of your coping methods?

Mine are

Breathing deeply, praying, and i also have a imaginary girlfriend which i say god will give me real in heaven (might be a bit unorthodox but it gets me through the night!).........

It is a tough battle but we have to be strong.....but it so hard to keep fighting

 

[Tehchad]

Not having a lady in your life can be a tough deal sometimes. God did indeed create them in order for us men to life full and abundant lives.
They are not, however, the end all. We are meant to live our lives as a child of God. He can give us a full and enjoyable life without a lady; He does have that power!
I hope you can rest easy in knowing God's eyes are upon you. Your Father loves you more than any of us can understand.

Keep your chin up man.

 

[Liberal Angel]

Not having a lady in your life can be a tough deal sometimes. God did indeed create them in order for us men to life full and abundant lives.
They are not, however, the end all. We are meant to live our lives as a child of God. He can give us a full and enjoyable life without a lady; He does have that power!
I hope you can rest easy in knowing God's eyes are upon you. Your Father loves you more than any of us can understand.

Keep your chin up man.

thanks ya its true but i still get sad cuz i dont have a girlfriend..........sex seems to be all peopel talk about these days which is why i dont come to these forums much.....cuz every joke seems to have sexual undertone.......and everyday im just getting more sure that i will die alone so its w/e......just makes this life feel bad.........idk im not happy......but idk if its different for me because i have mental illness....but i figured all single people get depressed.......but my friends that are single arent really depressed abd suicidal like me....

 

[Paulie079]

I know that what I'm about to say isn't something that seems that helpful but it's so true. God created us in such a way that the only way that we can ever find total, fulfilling satisfaction is in Him. God has given us marriage and sex and relationships in order to be able to enjoy life and to experience His grace in different ways but ultimately, having a girlfriend or having sex or getting married isn't going to completely satisfy you. I've been single my entire life and this is the biggest thing that I've found. I know that it's easy to feel lonely without a girlfriend but when you're single you have so much time to invest in friendships and in your relationship with God. I know that there are some psychological factors that go into what you're experiencing and I hope and pray that you will recover from that sooner than later but as you're going through this struggle, just remember that in the end, a girlfriend, wife, or sex partner isn't going to ultimately satisfy you but that Jesus Christ will.

 

[HighwayMan]

Hey guys

as we all know being a single male is the hardest job in the entire world.......it drove me to the mental hospital many times - (just got out march 14) and im already struggling again......i try to keep myself calm but as soon as a semi sexy commercial gets on tv or a friend makes a sex joke ill grab the closest sharp object and start cutting myself they upped my fluaxatine and depakote but im not noticing much difference....

What are some of your coping methods?

Mine are

Breathing deeply, praying, and i also have a imaginary girlfriend which i say god will give me real in heaven (might be a bit unorthodox but it gets me through the night!).........

It is a tough battle but we have to be strong.....but it so hard to keep fighting

Imagination is fine. People often make fun of it, but the world we live in is based on many imaginary principles. Take economics for example, people become multi millionaires based on ideas and notions with little to no grounds in reality.

When I'm outside and something like that bugs me, I imagine myself as a fully-uniformed Jedi knight going to an important council meeting or on my way to fight an enemy. You kind of stop caring about sex jokes or happy couples when you are getting ready to fight a sith lord.

And yes, I am serious.

 

[pinkstars86]

I think it's completely natural for you to have feelings of wanting to find a girl. I would LOVE to find that special guy but God hasn't put that in my life just yet. I do believe still that one day he will but HE is to be the center of your world, not finding a girl/guy. I just realized that recently from a very wise friend. I spend a lot of time thinking about how great it would be to find him but that's just a waste of time as far as I'm concerned because God will provide for me - it's just not time yet.

However I will not baby you and coddle you for taking a razor to your arm when a commercial with sexual undertones comes on. If you've been to the psych ward a few times now you have been helped to learn many different ways of coping by now. I know that cutting may seem to be a natural reflex but it's something that will only go away wtih effort and with prayer - if you really want it to. If you don't, then it will just keep going and to be very honest you will not get better.

Your focus is in the wrong place, friend. Focus on God, he's the one that will provide for you. But be honest with yourself - can you be in a relationship with somoene while you're actively self-harming? Would you expect a woman to handle the cutting when something upsets you? For now it may be not having a girlfriend that upsets you but what about if you do find her and then have a bad day? This seems to be your coping mechanism right now so you will eventually find other things to cut over. Date yourself for awhile and focus on your own well being for a minute.

And you have to realize also that the old saying goes, you can't love someone else (including God) truly until you love yourself.

And please do not expect the medications to do ALL the work. You pick up that sharp object and YOU cut yourself. It's a choice that you make each time it happens. Why don't you start praying when this urge hits you? Or journal? Listen to some relaxing music and journal away. Or maybe get up and for for a run or a nice walk to clear your mind. There are many different ways to cope I'd be happen to PM you some links.

 

[Im_A]

Hey guys

as we all know being a single male is the hardest job in the entire world.......it drove me to the mental hospital many times - (just got out march 14) and im already struggling again......i try to keep myself calm but as soon as a semi sexy commercial gets on tv or a friend makes a sex joke ill grab the closest sharp object and start cutting myself they upped my fluaxatine and depakote but im not noticing much difference....

What are some of your coping methods?

Mine are

Breathing deeply, praying, and i also have a imaginary girlfriend which i say god will give me real in heaven (might be a bit unorthodox but it gets me through the night!).........

It is a tough battle but we have to be strong.....but it so hard to keep fighting

Something I want to advise.

Anyone that doesn't suffer from the same mental issues that you suffer from giving you their coping method is going to harm you in the end.

Please, keep seeking the help you I assume regularly seek. I hope the best for you.

 

[stan1472]

What are some of your coping methods?

Bible study, prayer, Christian mags/books, & christian fellowship. Also: working, honing your talents, & some type of exercise. And last and definitely not least: living as Jesus did to reach the lost.

 

[Edwards1984]

Blind post.

What are some of your coping methods?

By teaching myself not to dwell on it. Once I got past that, it was amazing not only how much peace of mind I had, but how willing I was to go beyond my comfort zone.

Also handing much of my concerns over to the Lord and knowing that He will give me the right girl in due time also gave me peace of mind.

 

[Hisbygrace]

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I'd also like to add an old adage we used to hear all the time " If ya can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin at all." (author unknown)
Please try to remember that there are people everyday who are suffering and in pain, just because we may not understand what they are going through doesn't diminish the fact that the pain is real for them.​

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[sampa]

I'm not a guy, but Holy Spirit. IT many times plagues me thinking maybe what if and for my age its even harder, even if others think I'm 10yrs younger. Holy Spirit is the only thing that has gotten me through and navigated me away from some very BAD guys or should I say heavy bags.
And even my lowest point, it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. Not a counselor psychologist or any kind of logical reasoning. But I had to seek HIM first.

 

[wpage]

This to will pass.

Thru prayer and supplication many have been healed.

 

[Edwards1984]

I honestly feel this entire thread should be removed. If anyone feels this guy is genuine I have some ocean front property in Kansas to sell you.

Oh hey, I live on the border with Kansas, you said you were selling...?

 

[pinkstars86]

I honestly feel this entire thread should be removed. If anyone feels this guy is genuine I have some ocean front property in Kansas to sell you.

YOU may not have ever felt this way, but there are people out there who do. Young people especially. In my line of work I see young people everyday who could have written this.

I'm not saying it's not fake, but just because you don't see this as genuine doesn't mean it isn't.

 

[callmeMurph]

What are some of your coping methods?

I avoid watching TV and am careful what movies I watch. There is too much garbage out there for me to be wasting my time on. I also try to limit my internet time, I avoid the computer if I don't have a specific purpose and am just bored. I used to have friends that tell sexual jokes a lot and I told them I didn't appreciate it. Apparently they didn't care enough about me to stop telling them so I stopped hanging out with them. I find prayer and journaling also helps a lot. I am keeping a separate journal where I write notes to my future wife as well.

 

[Ceili]

My friends are my coping mech! I could not be the woman I am without my close girlfriends!!