traditional marriage

[ImaginaryDay]

Traditional doesn't mean the wife stays at home. When we look at the virtue scripture in proverbs that woman worked....

Also with all of the technology and google and bing there is always a way of looking up how to do something....I can go to youtube and find out everything I need to know.

If you look at the context of the OP it means exactly that. Wife stays at home and does traditional 'wife' things, while husband goes to work and 'provides' for the family, a'la "Leave It To Beaver"

(p.s. I'll bring the Chilli!!!)

 

[Avniel]

I just think I'm not that good because I am an extremely picky eater. So I only cook basic meals, ones that are easy to make.

the only thing that I am still perfecting is my gravy. I make it from scratch using, the stock from chicken, turkey or roast, then I make roux using flour and butter. The roux needs to be cooked just right or it can completely throw off the gravy. That is what I am trying to perfect.

I think that's how I am I can cook and very well but I was raised around some great cooks so my food always turns out ok then really good....I just want to get to the point where everything is good.

 

[jminnesota]

i feel being married is 1 man and 1 woman only. and the man should be the one that makes choices but my wife and i both make big choices together we feel when your married its good to make choices together about issues that come up during your married life.

 

[Hetta]

and the man should be the one that makes choices

Choices on what?

So, does a woman become helpless when she marries? She may have made all kinds of choices about where to go to college, what to study, where to work, but put that ring on her finger and BOOM!! she is helpless.

 

[jminnesota]

well the bible does say that the man should be the one that makes choices as god made man to be the leader. in our relationship we talk about it together but my wife knows that if it came down to it i would make the final choice and she would be ok with it and know that its what god would want. when it comes to big choices like buying a house or car or major things we talk about it together and often make the choice together.

 

[ValleyGal]

well the bible does say that the man should be the one that makes choices as god made man to be the leader.

Where does it say the man should be the one that makes choices OR the "leader"? And even if he were to be a "leader", do leaders always have the final decision making power?

 

[jminnesota]

well when you marry eachother you leave your parents and become 1 flesh and men are the head of the house and women follow what there husbands do its just the way it is. Most often men choose where to live and work so often the wife follows and goes with them. often the wife stays home with kids while husband is out making a living. god made us that way.

 

[ValleyGal]

Imo, you have a misunderstanding of what it means to be the "head" as Christ is the head of the church. It has nothing to do with decision-making or even "leading" in the sense of following the leader.

 

[Hetta]

I agree. I have never seen where in the Bible it says that men go to work and women stay home to take care of children. That's tradition, not biblical. And the vast majority of families do not look like that at all. It would be a quite small minority these days. Many husbands 'follow' military wives to different parts of the word, btw. Quite often also, where the woman's degree is higher, or she is better able to earn money, the family follows where her career leads. I know at least three families that have done these only recently. In one, the wife is an M.D., the husband is a pharmacist. Her career takes precedence, and they have moved to three different cities in twenty years as she has climbed the ladder. He can always get employed in those cities, but her career has precedence.

Those are not rare cases. The majority of wives do not stay home to look after kids, and the majority of families are not led by the husband/father from place to place according to his 'choices.'

 

[jminnesota]

the man is supost to be the leader of the household yes. my wife knows it. i mean we do make choices together for the most part but if ever there was a choice that i made even if she did not agree with it she would have to follow me as its what god wants. look up 1 Peter Chapter 3
1 Peter 3

New International Version (NIV)

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers

colossians 3 , 18
Instructions for Christian Households

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers,[c] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged

 

[ValleyGal]

Submission is not about following a husband's "lead". It has nothing to do with leadership.

Submission is yielding self to the best interest of your spouse, and both husbands and wives are to submit to each other, as per Eph 5:21.

Headship is not about decision making; it is about being responsible for the condition of your family, initiating dying to self, initiating respect, initiating serving, initiating love, initiating the reconciliation process, etc, just as Christ did for us.

None of the verses you provide suggest it is up to a man to be the final decision maker, and none of them suggest that a woman needs to "follow" her husband's "lead."

But....we are not supposed to talk about these issues on this board, so I suppose I need to button my lips.

 

[jminnesota]

yea well some people choose to pick what they like in the bible and then think everything else is just opinion instead of fact. my wife and i follow the bible and feel everything in the bible is gods words.

 

[jminnesota]

my wife and i have a healthy relationship we love eachother and support eachothers choices in life. we love god. all that really matters god is the center of our relationship and always will be.

 

[Hetta]

if ever there was a choice that i made even if she did not agree with it she would have to follow me as its what god wants.

Good luck with that. If my husband wanted to lead us wrong, I would not follow him because it would NOT be what God wanted.

 

[motherprayer]

the man is supost to be the leader of the household yes. my wife knows it. i mean we do make choices together for the most part but if ever there was a choice that i made even if she did not agree with it she would have to follow me as its what god wants. look up 1

Kudos to your wife! Sarah did just that, when Abraham asked her to lie for him. Sometimes we are led into those types of situations, and God always blesses those who follow what He calls us to do rather than what the world thinks makes sense!

 

[Hetta]

yea well some people choose to pick what they like in the bible and then think everything else is just opinion instead of fact. my wife and i follow the bible and feel everything in the bible is gods words.

So do you follow this one:

- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Do you eat bacon?

- And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.

Do you do this?

- When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of sperm, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening

Do you follow this?

- When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening. Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean. Anyone who touches her bed will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. Anyone who touches anything she sits on will be unclean; they must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, they will be unclean till evening. If a man has sexual relations with her and her monthly flow touches him, he will be unclean for seven days; any bed he lies on will be unclean.

Do you eat bloody steak?

- Any Israelite or any foreigner residing among you who hunts any animal or bird that may be eaten must drain out the blood and cover it with earth, because the life of every creature is its blood. That is why I have said to the Israelites, “You must not eat the blood of any creature, because the life of every creature is its blood; anyone who eats it must be cut off.”

Have you ever worn cotton and wool or other blends?

- Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material

Do you shave?

- Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard

That's why I never, ever, ever believe anyone who says they follow every word of the Bible. It's impossible.

 

[Hetta]

"Traditional" and "scriptural" are not the same thing. This is a common mistake but nontheless a mistake.

 

[ValleyGal]

yea well some people choose to pick what they like in the bible and then think everything else is just opinion instead of fact. my wife and i follow the bible and feel everything in the bible is gods words.

If it works for you, great. But that does not mean it is necessarily what the Bible expects. You have found something that works for you, and others need to find what works for them. But by saying what you did, you are in fact, doing what you accuse "some people" of, meaning you think you are following God's words and those who do not do as you do are not following God's words. But...what I say comes after years and years of careful study on the subject.

Just because you do what works for you does not mean it is a biblical expectation.

 

[jminnesota]

if your a man who follows god then your wife would not have to worry. she would know that your a gods man and would never do anything god would not want you to do in life.

and we both read the bible daily and pray with god and talk to god all the time. and our relationship has been blessed by god and our relationship is wonderful. we never have fights we never get upset with eachother. we have so much in common and have same likes that we hardly ever diagree with things but if there is something she dont agree with she knows that she needs to follow me and will always follow me.

in todays world yes both men and women often work and etc. but when god created a woman she was ment to bring children into the world and raise the kids. so husband would be the one working and making a living while the wife was at home taking care of the house and the kids. i am not being sexiest but its just the way god wants it. Its normaly the man that chooses what town to live in and where to work and raise a family. not often is it the wife that decides that. at least from where i come from and where i was raised.

 

[jminnesota]

course back in the day most people grew up on farms and would take over the family farm and etc. the wifes would make sure the kids were all fed and did there stuff while husbands were out working the fields