Originally Posted by technofox
No offense to you all, but this whole thread is pathetic and deviates far and wide from what the OP was trying to discuss.
I can quickly summarize most of the arguments I have seen here:
1. Its like a Lifetime channel movie where the guy is a jerk and the woman is an innocent fawn that justifies her actions via her emotions that seem rational at the surface. The guy must change and become her servant and all is well.
2. Its about two selfish people who can't communicate and understand each other's needs without Christ coming into their lives and guide them to show each other love via Christ like actions.
3. Its just movie that inspires me to be a better husband/wife.
Ok so with that out of the way, my take is that both individuals were unloving towards one another and need Christ to guide them. For all we know the wife was withholding sex and the husband went to porn. There is no real history as to how they got from being in love enough to get married and what led the both of them to their current problems. Most of the arguments here are based upon pure speculation and assumptions. In a nutshell I can't believe the dissention here.
You know what I have learned about marriage?
You can do everything in that movie and love dare book, but it takes two to make it work. I spent a lot of money, even went into debt to try to save my marriage, because I loved my wife, but her actions expressed no matter how loving I could be to her they were never good enough. She basically used the threat of divorce as a way to get what she wants and eventually she used it try to control me, because she knew that it was something that I did not want. Eventually she tried to financially screw through NY's legal system by lying and manipulating me into thinking we were going to do an amicable divorce; however, it backfired on her big time and I ended up filing first after coming to peace with God over the divorce itself. If you want to know more, then please read all of my threads about my terrible marriage, because there is a lot more to it.
Caleb had gone through a similar problem, until he finally gave all he had to help his wife's mother without any expectation of her coming back to him. Fortunately for him it worked, because something inside her made her feel love towards him again. Basically she made decisions based upon emotions and not rational thought until the end. In the end love won.
In the real world sometimes this does not happen, because no matter how loving one person can be to another, it may not be enough to save a marriage. Is a marriage worth saving?
Yes it is. I walked away knowing that I did try to save my marriage and with God's peace in regards to letting him deal with the divorce it helped a lot. The only thing I would have done different was to not go into debt to save my marriage, because I got stuck paying for it.
I also learned a lot about Christ like relationships. Basically Jesus' mentioning the golden rule and everything else in the Bible about marriage holds true:
Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.
Do not withhold sex, except for an agreed upon time.
Love your wife as Christ love the church and wives submit to your husbands. Basically for us guys follow what the bible says, basically man up and be assertive when you know your wife is wrong about something and you are right (e.g. the bible says something is right and you as the husband are standing up for it). Women ditto.
Only mutual love and respect, and understanding will make a marriage successful. Marriage is a life long commitment of friendship. Its the relationship where two people work towards fulfilling 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, for that passage explains what love truly is in a nutshell.
Ok let the rebuttals begin ;-P