Secular dating easier than Christian dating due to no hang-ups

[DragonFox91]

Maybe we can bring in what Paul said into the mix as well.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Cor 7

Paul stated this for he said in the same chapter 1 Cor 7:33 that a married person has potentially his focus split Taking care of his wife and also the Lord's affairs. He did say however that if they felt they couldn't do this they shouldn't as it is better to marry than to burn with passion. This we can take to be the will of God. So let's work through this. if one's feel they just can't do this then God surely must be willing to answer a prayer for help in finding a wife. If it's better for them to be in the married state than it's better.



And we can read about that in Jeremiah 16:3,4 The people in Israel were about to face judgement. Sons and daughters and their parents were going to be slaughtered. God, in His great mercy, saw the terrible conditions that would come upon the land. So, in deep compassion spared the prophet the agony of taking care of family and children in such dire conditions. But such a stipulation would be like an anomaly. A very rare incident where God said this.


Well let me say this. Is it hypothetically possible that God could tell one it's not his will to marry? Perhaps. But you're not left to have this as a mystery over your life or just assume.....well I guess it wasn't the will of God or that a none arrival of a spouse confirms this. People can genuinely miss it in the way and manner in how they pray. I know. I get it. People don't want to hear this or be told it's a possibility. But if it is though....what are we to do? Never share it? I believe we have substantial enough grounds to believe God will answer this prayer for remember he said....it would be better. So...we prayer and apply Mk 11:24....believe we receive when we pray.....and thank him for it throughout our days until it becomes manifested. And if it didn't?

I think we need to be better at making sure we don't mix our own emotions & thoughts w/ God's will. For example it's very easy for me to be discouraged about no wife & thinking I will never be married, but in the prescence of God, all those fears just go away. It's obvious at bare minmium they are lies & me speaking for God I know my will for my life in regards to being married. You can't say 'it's a no, that's God's will for me b/c God doesn't say yes all the time.' That's using your own logic. That's not God speaking to you. "Moses prayed to enter the Promised Land & God told him no he will die first so that means my prayer for marriage is a no too." That's your own thought.

I 'd then apply James 1 the first chapter which says ask God for wisdom. Or revelation .as to why there is no answer. Would he actually say it's not his will for me to marry? I'd say the chances of that would be very, very slim. But if he did he'd tell me and I'm confident he would in a very clear and definite way.

I think unmarrieds are given a no because they need to be doing special things for the kingdom a married can't. Paul talks about this. If you really think you have a no, it's because God is calling you to a path of full devotion for him. It's not an excuse to sit back & relax. It's kind of like Catholocism' priests: if you really have a no, you have a great opportunity to be a witness. So you should be rejoicing you can do big things for the kingdom. It's not a consolation prize. It's our highest purpose here on earth.
This isn't to say marrieds can't do things for the kingdom, & sometimes it's hard b/c it seems marrieds run everything even at churches where an unmarried w/ a no is being called to so it may seem like they're not really doing anything they couldn't as married.
Paul speaks how our relationship status lets us glorify God. For the vast majority of us, we can't fully glorify God unmarried. This is why Paul says those who want to marry should marry. This also means as married we need to be fully glorifyng God. When we get married, we don't forget about him. We say now what do you want me to do for you, how can we glorify you now. What can the 2 of us do to glorify you we couldn't by ourselves. I pray this. I ask God this. "LOrd, we want to glorify you when we are married."

 

[DragonFox91]

Yeah it is hard to describe a knowing of something that's put into ones spirit. No matter what one says it still to another will seem like well maybe it was just his feelings. I can understand one thinking that.At times people do have knowing's of things put into their spirit. Paul the Apostle had on in Acts 27:10 where it stated he perceived a voyage in a Roman ship would suffer loss. and he told the captain.....he wouldn't listen to him and we know the rest of the story.

It's kind of like it's not of the human mind but in the core of one's spirit. Just a knowing that you know that transcends the mind. Off topic but let me speak of this for a bit. You notice how Jesus said out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water. The belly is the core of man's reality or spirit and out of man's spirit will flow rivers of living water. John 7:31

The living waters is talking about the Holy Spirit flowing through us. . The Sprit of man it's in the core area or the chest in middle portion of the body. LOL Am I sounding strange? Let me ask you this? You ever notice when someone hurts you emotinally.....as they say....you're heart is broken...the pain actually does feel like in the heart area of the body? It's a mental pain but it actually impacts the spirit.

Or did you ever recall when you didn't know the Lord you'd experience the empty heart. People can have all materialism all good things but they express.....I feel empty down on the inside. That's the core or the spirit or the real you. well God speaks the human spirit or gives it promptings or knowing's.

Here's another one
Proverbs 20:27 KJV: The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly.

All I can tell you it was an inward knowing that I knew put deep within me. It wasn't of the flesh but Spirit.

I did say this to a friend on the phone later. You know it was strange. When she walked in it was sort of life a velvety like feeling deep down in my spirit. Just a beautiful sense of knowing which was almost tangible like as if....it's velvet.

So.....about 5 years later I picked up a book that was written by a Christians author many years prior and I believe it was called How To Be Led By the Spirit of God. Reading through the book I came across a paragraph which said, How do you know when you've got a green light and you're being led by the Lord? And he answered you'll find that you get a velvety like feelings deep down in your sprit. That's God saying this is it. Well when I read that the book went sailing when I read that I jumped out and shouted YES!

I went to my wife and asked her remember when we met we both had that velvety like sense down in our spirits? She said yes. Then I told her now read this what Ive just read in this book. And we thanked and praised God!

It was supernatural or of the Spirit. We both knew it then but this book related what it is like.

I don't know, dude. You can't trust yourself. Remember the heart is deceitful. (whichh reminds me don't trust anything that says 'follow your heart')

But: Here's where I do understand: She had it too. It wasn't just you. We also know it was of the Spirit b/c God joins the 2. A marital covenant is special to God & from God. So he gave you both a witness. That's how you know. God uses the testimony of his Spirit, prayer, his Word, & other believers. You might've thought she was the one, you might've thought the Spirit was saying it, but she & the Spirit in her confirmed it.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

No sorry this just doesn't make sense. So your argument is because God says no about one thing that means we can equally expect he could say not about another thing? Sorry again but all throughout the scriptures' that can be shown not to be true.

Brother I think you need to allow for some grace in regards to this topic. Someone may receive a "not yet", however, sometimes it can be hard for all of us to discern a "not yet" from a "no". I'm sure you've experienced God in response to some of your prayers saying "no", "not yet" or "this is better instead". If we rely on God to give us what we need then that means sometimes we require correction in the things we pray for (or the reasons we're praying). There's multiple different extrapolations that flow forth from relying on God, but just because someone has made a mistake in distinguishing a "no" from a "not yet", it does not necessarily mean that they lack faith. It can just mean that they tripped and need to have their perspective adjusted.

I think you need to be a bit more careful of painting across the entire spectrum of circumstance with a broad brush, as you are beginning to accuse people whose circumstances are unknowable to you of unbelief. They might falter on some days with having enough faith and then repent later on, but simultaneously they might also have acts of faith where their life is perseverance and trusting in God while their mind is telling them that God is not going to answer their prayers. Please I would ask that you would be careful, as you are married and are posting in a singles only section where this topic can be sensitive.

Your initial advice was good but at some point you've crossed the line into accusing those who are suffering of not having enough faith when you are in ignorance of almost the entirety of their circumstances and the depth of their faith.

God bless .

 

[DragonFox91]

Yesterday in Sunday School the teacher was teaching how false prophets say they speak from God. He made the comparison how men will say to women "God told me to date you." & it made me think of this thread where women say "God told me not to date you." It goes both ways.

 

[DragonFox91]

Another section that hasn’t been brought up is when Jesus is talking about eunuchs. He says there’s 3 kinds: by choice, by other’s choice, & by birth. He’s saying singleness is to those it has been given & it is not for everyone, & marriage is to those it has been given & is not for everyone.
(As an aside, this means what Paul is saying isn't just good wisdom, but something that had its origin in Jesus the Lord)

I think you're misunderstanding me. Wanting a spouse is a good thing. Genesis says it's not good for man o be alone. Sin came and Paul stated you might want to consider that it's wise to stay unmarried for your attentions can be divided but God still leaves it up to us. 1 Cor 7. If you decide you want a wife or spouse that's still a good thing. Ask and you shall receive Matt 7:7 and believe you receive when you pray Mk 11:24 and offer up thanksgiving to God until it comes about.

Need to be careful w/ Genesis. At the time it was just Adam. I think the application is more God will give you human companions regardless & it’s not necessarily a spouse. Tho it indeed can be a spouse.